Shokushu High School
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julia new student :: edited
http://shokushu.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=5227		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  jman098 [ Thu May 21, 2009 8:34 am ]
Post subject:  julia new student :: edited
Student Bio/Profile
Name: julia
Gender: female
Age: 18
Place of Birth: california's mercy hospital ( never been to cali so if theres more than one sorry)
Nationality: US
Hair Color: black
Eye Color: green
Ethnicity:
Skin Tone: light tan
Pubic Hair: thick black
Distinguishing features: scar just below her right shoulder, allways has a shackle on her left leg
Height: 5' 7"
Weight: 110
Bust: D
Waist: slim and slightly toned
Hips: slim
Background: her rich parents have sent her to every private school imaginable they had lost all hope and thought thier daughter would be a spoiled, rich, gossiping bitch until they looked upon a shokushu high school pamphlete and sent her here hoping the schools many teachers could straighten her out. ever since she was about 5 years old she was sick of her parents working going to board meeting and such so thats when she started acting out and thats when her parents started sending her to the long list of private schools.
Psychological Profile: sane
Personality: upbeat and happy most of the time likes to gossip a little too much hates athourity and being told what to do.
Virgin? yes most of her parents money went to keeping her away from boys thats also why they sent her to shokushu no worries in an all girl school
Piercing or Tattoos: one black rose tattoo from her belly button up to her collar bone her parents allowed her to get it for her sixteenth birthday. and one peircing her parents dont know about *wink*
Language: english,
Likes: talking, reading, and on occasion going for secluded walks early in the morning, collecting knives swords and anything sharp and or shiny. she was kinda pissed when her parents locked them up in her room and said she could have them back once she came back from shokushu.
Activities: jogging, watching old horror movies, reading "romantic novels", and wereing anything wierd to get attention (such as a shackle on her leg)
Miscellaneous: usualy weres something dark blue under her jacket
Magic? none

=3 pleez tell me what you think of her and i just joined yesterday so if theres any pointers you could give or contructive critisism would b greatly appreciated..... sorry about all the spelling errors : / guess i just dont care enuff to make it all look pretty owell Image
Author:  Madison [ Fri May 22, 2009 4:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: julia new student
Image

First off....your spelling is terrible.

4 foot 2 inches....D-cup breasts. Bit of a strain on her back, no? Not to mention extremely short.

There's also more then one Mercy Hospitol in California. Trust me, I live in California. Also, that Tattoo must have taken a very long time to do...and I don't think it would've gone unnoticed by your character's parents, which according to your profile, were quite overprotective.

Also, anything sharp can and will be taken from her as she travels there.
Author:  Anna Lenox [ Fri May 22, 2009 4:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: julia new student
Madison wrote:
[img]
4 foot 2 inches....D-cup breasts. Bit of a strain on her back, no? Not to mention extremely short.


:D Her boobs are bigger than she is!
Author:  The Count Alucard [ Sat May 23, 2009 1:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: julia new student
We've had girls with much bigger boob-to-height ratios before... just not usually so short. Kinda brings "Eiken" to mind...

Yeah, like Madison said, she'll probably lose her knives and swords; it's unlikely for a Shokushu student to be allowed anything sharper than a butter knife.

As for the tattoos, from the way it's worded, I think she meant that the hidden one was not the rose one...

One thing, though... Why the shackle? I'm curious...
Author:  jman098 [ Wed May 27, 2009 2:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: julia new student
thanks for the hieght thing i should have thot of that and yes ... i know my spelling terrible sorry you have to put up with it ....... and as for the shackle she likes people to look at her like O_o freak because she just wants ot b the center of attention so anything wierd is good ...... imma go back and make sum ajustments to her hieght and stuff thanks everyone
Author:  Madison [ Wed May 27, 2009 4:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: julia new student :: edited
I'm not talking about the spelling being perfect. I'm talking about it being readable.

And the weight's a bit...light. Madison's the same height, and she's over 130lbs. Granted she IS very athletic...but yeah...
Author:  Stormbringer [ Wed May 27, 2009 2:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: julia new student :: edited
If you can't be bothered to use a spell checker I doubt many people will think you care enough to be bothered playing with you.
Author:  CMS [ Wed May 27, 2009 5:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: julia new student :: edited
I reckoned it wuz time for the lil ole redhead to step in here 'bouts an make her statement. Like me mama always said: them readin', writin', an rithmatic is really important to yah. Writin' wuz all 'bouts paintin' a picture an yah didn't want no body thinkin' yah wuz stupid or ignorant no how whil’st yah did it. Soooo that is that.

There are times that spelling might be thrown out for the express purpose of your writing. Yet even so you run the risk of people believing you are ignorant or stupid simply because the character you are writing for may come across that way.

While I may try to paint a picture with my character (A house full of critics has informed me numerous times my accents are terrible) I try no less. I was, in the innocence of youth, much like you. I hated spelling and grammar. But over time I have come to the realization that to paint that picture with the written word so that others can better enjoy my work requires good grammar and spelling.

Spend time on the site. Work with others. Develop your prose and style and work on painting the picture every time you sit down to respond. People will respond to you.

Oh,,,the final secret. Do all your writing in a text editor first with a grammar and spellchecker :)
Author:  Madison [ Thu May 28, 2009 5:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: julia new student :: edited
Locked until we recieve some information from the origional poster.
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