My name is Criselda, or Kris, or maybe Zelda. Last name is a little cool, de Andre, but I think the meaning is odd. My dad's family originated from Norway and I translated the word "andre," which means "other," but the "de" part means "of." Weird, right? Anyways...
My mother, Kris Simmons, gave birth to me on November 16, 1997 in Saginaw, Michigan. The father, Radley de Andre, died before marrying, let alone knowing my mother was pregnant. An aneurysm. What I was told. He used to be a carpenter and did siding on houses, or other things like that and gutters. At least he was before mommy had a baby and his head popped off.
I suppose that makes me a legit bastard.
Kris, my mom not me, had paperwork, dunno what, about being married, to get by something or other, and I guess she got away with it. I don't really understand why or what, but I ended up with my last name being de Andre rather than simple Simmons. When I turned 18, my mom did tell me that I could change my last name to Simmons if I wanted, but I received a good reception from having a interesting name. So, I kept it.
Speaking of getting a good rep for being interesting! Okay, so I suppose my most "flattering" feature is my slick and curled nest of hair. You ever seen a black ball of yarn after a kitten used it? Okay, picture that where ever hair grows. Now add a pair of milky marbles, with a shiny blue hue, peeking out from the ball of yarn. Those are a good set of eyes. Yep! So good, in fact, that I need shades when I read. How great is that?
Anyways, I kind of have a Sadoko theme going. Actually, that is a good character to represent how I appear. Just not as creepy. Now, I don't have my tummy sucked into the back of my rib-cage or anything like an undead Japanese apparition, but I do have a slim tum. I would love to work on getting some abs down there. Maybe when I get to around school, I can see about getting membership to a gym. I kind of have a thing about going to one. Never have... I liked to, but my mom never let me. She said I didn't need to waste money when I could just work out at home. Thing is, I enjoy the attention, and it motivates me to do things others are getting into. Maybe the reason why I like social media. You have no idea how much people start getting invested into topics that are not shared with the public.
On that note, my mother jokes about a birth mark I have. It is nestled in the cap of my hair, goes back to the nap of my neck, and what she tells me is that's where the doctor used a vacuum to suck me out of her. Well, at least no one, but my mom, me, doctors, and a few friends have seen it. Now that we are on unique marks, I haven't really stopped growing yet. Last I checked, I peaked at 5'9, but I could have sworn one morning that I was 5'10 and a ½.
That reminds me. I need to get an order for my school uniform. I think my measurements are the same. It has been awhile since I've taped myself. When I go shopping, I tend to buy men's clothes over women's, but it has nothing to do with style or comfort. Men simply have it lucky because of one thing. They have pockets. Dear lord, you have no idea how difficult it is to find a pair of pants with damn pockets! Also, I have to avoid ordering any clothes from China. I swear they have their measurements a whole two size categories smaller than the rest of the world. Anyways, I'm 35-26-36" (or 89-66-91.5 cm for the metric people,) and I can enjoy myself bordering 140. So, if someone wants to find something for me to wear, like a dress, I can fit a size 6 (eating whole foods is good for you,) and can deal with 32Cs, but I will remove those damn wires. They hurt. There are 10.5s shoes I can wear, but I like having 11's for my toes to have some freedom. Used to walking bare foot anyways because we owned six cats and they love to trip me.
I like to try out cooking. Right now, I'm working on sketching... More like scratching than anything. Proportions are just not my thing. So, to get my mind off it, I wanted to work on the culinary arts. Maybe I can find a course at school for just that. Could look into both, actually. Draw and cook art. Problem is, I don't like being told what to do. If I don't have the mood in me to draw something, then I might not finish it. As for cooking, if I don't understand the purpose for rolling a raw cut over spices, then why do it? I don't know what they do to the taste. Just not sure if I want to drag my hobbies into my curriculum.
Um, yeah, lets talk about other hobbies of mine. I do flip the bird once and a while, but it usually is when I feel frustrated about something. Like, stressed the fuck out. Literally, it gets the fucking cumming out of me. Is that weird? *Shrugs* Guess that can be TMI for some people, but it is nice to be honest. Actually, I'm a terrible liar. I can't tell a story the same way twice. It blows out of my mouth all twisted. It has to do with my imagination. It can be like watching a movie without pause. Idea is there, but here comes another, just like the scenes.
Well, if anyone likes to ask me some questions that I have not already answered, please do so. I really enjoy talking with people more than throwing out a slab of information. Narration!
