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Never So Free... http://shokushu.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=9045	Page 1 of 4

Author:	Lacey [ Mon Sep 08, 2014 4:48 pm ]
Post subject:	Never So Free...
A day off, and one that's sorely needed at that; keeping up with one's studies is difficult when one finds herself assaulted by inhuman creatures, even infrequently. So why is it that Lacey finds herself HERE rather than in her dorm room studying, as she knows she should be? Supplementing classroom learning with free time study in order to ensure a passing grade? Instead of study, the redhead stands fidgeting before a large door, uncertain as to whether she should actually knock, or be wise and return to her studies. You know you don't want that... Her own dark desires whisper quietly, seductively in her mind. You want to be HERE, not back in your dorm... She shivers a little. 'Here' is a certain conspicuous tower on the campus, one that draws the eye and makes the girls quiver inside. Within this tower, inside this very suite, resides a Head Girl by the name of Vera Matsumoto, a curvaceous beauty with soft, flawless white skin, long and beautiful silvery white hair, and eyes that look like they're made of blue ice. The cold appearance of the woman alone would make some shiver...and when coupled with the tales of what she does to the students who can't follow the rules, shivering tends to become quaking. She's known as a fair judge of character, using the power of her position in good faith and with impeccable judgement (depending on whom one asks, of course) but legends say when one is deserving of punishment, she isn't shy about making certain the guilty party feels it at her own hand. Lacey's heard enough stories to make her shiver indeed...though her shivers are for slightly different reasons than most others. It had started a little earlier in the week: Sitting outside, Lacey had spotted a lovely woman with white hair walking at a brisk but unhurried pace, eyes focused on what was before her though it was obvious at the time that she'd had a great many things calling for her attention. Lacey had watched her with great interest, as the redhead is prone to do, and had noticed the sash around the woman's hips. Asking around about the meaning of the sash had provided answers she couldn't have begun to imagine, some merely rumors, others facts, all of them considered. She'd heard of the Head Girls and their Prefects before that moment, of course...but she'd never seen one before, that she knows of. Digging for information had brought up so many tales...a great many of them about Vera herself and her fondness for corrective efforts involving trips to the basement, where she had various toys and restraints to make sure that any fractious student was reminded of her place. The more she searched, the greater the number of stories she found, until finally just hearing about it wasn't enough for the curious little redhead; she wanted very much to meet Vera in person and see if there was any truth to the stories. Which is what brings her to this place at this point in time, though now the athletic student finds herself becoming anxious. Just knock, she urges herself, you've already done all this work. You want answers don't you? This is true...but still, how odd would it be if someone had knocked on HER door doing nothing more than simply following rumors? Besides, the redhead isn't the most graceful person when it comes to social interaction...Honestly, what do you think is going to happen? She'll spank you? Her darker side teases her. You'd love that though, wouldn't you...in fact, isn't that REALLY why you're here? Lacey bites her lip gently. It's hard to deny that her curiosity is based on something more than just clarification... You got wet just listening to some of those stories... true, but that makes this even more difficult! Who knocks on someone else's door just to ask if they'll tie her up and have their way with her?! "This is a horrible idea..." she murmurs softly to herself, almost turning to go...but hesitating again. Horrible perhaps, but it doesn't change the fact that you want to see where it goes. She bites her bottom lip again, troubled and torn and indecisive about where to go from here, what to do next. Just knock. It won't be that horrible...who knows? You might get what you know you want... Her hand lifts almost of its own accord, visions of her wants and needs dancing in her mind as that hand drifts closer and closer to the door. Just a quick knock is all it'll take, a quick knock and the door will open and...her hand freezes. And what? What is she here for? She knows what she's here for, and it's NOT something you ask a complete stranger about! ESPECIALLY not based on a reputation formed from hearsay! What is she thinking?! "I'm going insane..." She sighs to herself. "Be smart...turn around and walk away." A deep breath to calm her jangling nerves...and Lacey's hand falls fully on the door, three distinct but polite knocks. "Idiot..." She quietly berates herself, even as her heart leaps up into her throat, beating furiously within her, sending a warm rush of excitement through her body. Too late for second thoughts now; she's knocked on the door, made her choice. Time to see what comes of it.

Author:	Vera [ Tue Sep 09, 2014 4:03 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Never So Free...
The Head Girls was unique to all other schools. It was a position that held more powers and responsibilities than any other student on campus. They were allowed to do things that the other students would have questioned if this were a different school. But here, a Head Girl seemed to hold all the power compared to ordinary students. Of course, Vera knew that it was not entirely true. She was still a student and held such vulnerabilities as anyone else on campus. Having the sash offered some protection but not enough to deter all alien guests. She was under the control of the Headmasters as well as NICE labs and the school staff. Her voice had a bit more pull when speaking to such people but in the end, she lived to serve the needs of Shokushu and her Headmaster. Vera's reputation was not unknown to her. She has heard the rumors that are whispered behind her back. She could feel the fearful or furious auras coming from students who did not know better, girls hoping to avoid her wrath due to some wrongdoing they have done in the past. The lack of discipline in so many girls was disappointing to the Asian woman. But, the Head Girl could do little but lead by example and personally deal with those who have fallen too far from the path. It was another normal day for the silver haired woman or at least as normal as a day could be at Shokushu. She was typing at her computer, distributing demerits that her Prefects had brought to her recently. But, she found herself a bit curious about the aura of inner conflict that flared brightly just beyond her door. Someone was standing at her door and seemed to be extremely hesitant in knocking. This was nothing new, most students were unfortunately rather intimidated by the Head Girl. The long elevator ride up the tower gave plenty of opportunity for a student to change her mind and return where they came. So those who actually gather up enough nerve to come this far were worthy of the Head Girl's attention and assistance usually. The knocks finally came and Vera merely called out to the nervous woman. "Enter," she stated calmly. The door was unlocked, allowing Lacey to enter and see the large suite that a Head Girl stayed in. The tile floor led to Vera's desk, turning the front area into a sort of makeshift office that was flanked by doors that led to the bedroom, bathroom, and closet. Beyond the desk was the living area that was flanked by the kitchen. Needless to say, the Head Girl was living much better than any student living in the dorms. The Head Girl stopped typing and looked up at the woman. "No need to wait at the door," she added, "Come and sit, Ms?" This was a new student so Vera was only slightly aware of this woman and had yet to gather her name. The fact she had not learned her name was perhaps a good sign as it probably meant the girl was staying out of trouble or has not been caught yet. "How may I help you? Would you like some tea?"

Author:	Lacey [ Tue Sep 09, 2014 5:21 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Never So Free...
"Enter." The word that floats out to her is both command and permission, drawing the redhead forward without second thought, the voice carrying that message soft and musical to her ears. Her hand moves to open the door, not hesitating now; her nerves are still strung tight, but something tells her that making this woman wait is NOT in her best interest, particularly considering the student's come here of her own volition rather than by invitation. In she steps...and she freezes. Huge! That's the first impression that strikes her mind at the office area of the Head Girl's suite. Tiled floor, definitely a step up from the carpeting in her own dorm...and a kitchen?! Looking around, she finds the source of the voice, the white-haired woman she'd sought, Vera Matsumoto. Currently, she sits typing at her desk. It doesn't seem odd at all; if ever there were a person with enough focus and presence of mind to multi-task, it would be this one. She has no doubt that anything she says, anything she does, will register on this woman's mind, even if she's not looking directly at the redhead. It's not that she's waiting for Vera's full attention before speaking; it's that she finds herself completely silenced by Vera's presence. The Head Girl ceases typing and turns to look upon the student who dares intrude upon her tower domain. She looks calm and controlled, her gaze penetrating and precise, as though she knows more than what her eyes can see. Lacey's own eyes lock onto that pretty gaze of blue ice, and she has to fight down a shiver...one that has little to do with fear. The woman before her is gorgeous. She'd known that when she'd first spotted Vera while people-watching...but repeated exposure to that cold beauty does nothing to dull the impression. Reminded that she's still at the door, that she hasn't moved or spoken since opening it, Lacey blinks. "Ah! Right...sorry." She murmurs softly. Lowering her eyes from that gaze that holds her pinned in place, she turns and closes the door softly behind her. Doing as she's bidden, she comes forth and sits in the offered seat, legs crossed at the ankles, hands together, fingers laced in her lap; altogether she looks more confident than she feels. It's little surprise that Vera has yet to learn Lacey's name; the redhead doesn't get herself into much trouble, as far as the school is concerned, and the lovely Asian woman before her likely has many other students who DO require her attention. "Renault...Lacey Renault. I'm...a little new here. I haven't yet made it to a month." Sometimes, she's forced to wonder how she's made it as long as she has...especially lately, what with her knocking on the door of, arguably, the student with the most power on the campus. And with little in the way of a good reason no less... Her mouth feels dry, but she swallows nervously as she shakes her head, declining tea. How can she help...? Lacey wishes she had an answer to that question. Green eyes close, and the redhead takes a deep breath, gathering courage and calming her nerves. Wasting the Head Girl's time here in this chair is no better than wasting it outside her door, no less a dangerous gamble. Best to move forward...but how? Eyes open and she exhales the held breath. "Ms. Vera Matsumoto...it's a pleasure to meet you." She begins. Not a bad start, all things considered; her voice is far steadier than the wildly hammering heart in her chest. Now where to go from here? She struggles for a moment...then realizes she's been foolishly approaching this from the wrong angle. Looking around, she sees the trappings of power; the size of this suite, the furniture, the kitchen...this woman has power on this campus. And no matter where one finds oneself, the equation is the same; power means privilege. Privilege like answers as to what's going on in this place. Dark desires and curiosity take a back seat to the possibilities that open up before her now. She'd come here with little more in mind than satisfying her own newly awakened appetites...and had found an unexpected opportunity to learn something in her lap instead. Will this woman answer her questions? Likely not...but there is a chance. Her eyes lock on to Vera's, her nervousness forgotten in the boldness of making her first strike; "Are you aware of the presence of certain...inhabitants on the island? Non-student presences that roam here?" She doesn't insult Vera's intelligence by explaining further than that; if the Head Girl knows anything and wishes to answer, she will. If not...Lacey will figure something out. Her heart still beats quickly in her chest, but no longer out of a sense of worry or foreboding; now it's excitement at the possibility of answers as to what's really happening in this place. She's put together a fair bit, but the elusive question of 'why' is still there, taunting her. But that's still not what you want to ask... despite her newly discovered opportunity, the wants of her mind and body aren't to be so easily denied. Just thinking of some of the encounters she's had to now...those that awakened her to the things she likes in particular...sends another warm rush through her body. She has to struggle not to squirm thinking about those encounters...and thinking about the stories she's heard of this woman sitting scant feet away from her. She tells herself the answers are more important, especially now that she's come up with a reason for being here. Liar... the word brushes through her mind, and she knows it's true...the heat in her body tells her so. Still she denies it, clinging to her question like a drowning person to a piece of flotsam in a storm.

Author:	Vera [ Tue Sep 09, 2014 2:42 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Never So Free...
Despite Lacey's composure, the Head Girl could not miss the nervous aura. Being an empath made reading unaware students such as this one rather simple. Then again, it was not exactly a sense she could turn off which can be rather annoying with the constant fear and anger radiating from so many students when she walked passed. The student presented herself well and eventually got up the nerve to ask her question. Unfortunately, it was a question that was annoying to deal with. It was a question the Head Girl had no choice but to take the answer with her to the grave. It was a question that wasted her time though the student did not know this. There was no easy answer and nothing Vera says will convince this student if she had already been attacked and was allowed to keep her memories. "There are always rumors about animals being on the island, Ms. Renault," Vera replied, "But they are just that, rumors. There are no wild animals on this island. It is why the school can afford to be here without needing more security. Sadly, students like to build on these rumors and create stories that pass to newcomers year after year. It would be in your best interest to avoid such rumors and focus on your studies, Ms. Renault. Now, if you are suffering some sort of mental hallucination, I can recommend a nurse to provide you some medication if you like or you can go see her on your own volition." Vera spoke calmly. Despite this annoying question, the Head Girl would take the matter professionally. It was a sad fact that guests will rape students and allow them to remember it all, allowing them break down and train potential slaves to purchase in the auctions upon graduation. As long as a guest did not go overboard and get caught in public, it was completely out of Vera and Shokushu's hands. "My apologies if your trip up this tower was just on rumors and hearsay, Ms. Renault," Vera continued, "But, you should be more careful about what you listen to from now on. Is there anything else I can help you with?" That was about all Vera had to say on the matter. Any further pressing of the issue would result in a firmer hand closing the matter entirely. It would be a pity for a new student to get on a Head Girl's bad side but it was an unfortunate fact about students who were unlucky enough to be made into a target on the island. Vera herself would have pressed the issue further if she were still an ignorant student. So the silver haired woman would just brace herself and see where this matter goes.

Author:	Lacey [ Tue Sep 09, 2014 4:30 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Never So Free...
Rumors of wild creatures...is she hearing this? The highest position a student can attain, higher than some of the FACULTY even...and all this woman knows of these attacks are that they're rumors? Glancing down, she starts to think for another reason for visiting, something else...and then the quip about mental instability strikes. Green eyes widen as though the redhead has been slapped, and slide slowly up to meet Vera's gaze once more. Something about the calm, matter-of-fact tone in which her supposed 'instability' is delivered...is this woman...toying with her? Anger flares in those green eyes, rage even...but Lacey sits back, thinking calmly despite the fury that now burns in her mind, and her original motivation be damned. CAN you say you're stable? Of course not. She has conversations with herself now, but that's a result of stress from the things she's run into...it's their fault. She doesn't have many people she can talk to about this; so naturally she takes to her own council. But to have a suggestion like that offered her...after all she's been through....it's too much. Lacey's eyes narrow a bit. The way Vera closes the matter is a bit too quick and clean. Her apologies for a wasted trip follow swiftly on the breath of her last statement; it's almost like she's being dismissed before the matter can go further, save Vera hasn't actually told her to leave yet. Lacey's mother owns her own company; she's a businesswoman. And while Vera is cool, calm and collected at all times, she's made one mistake in her abrupt dismissal of Lacey's claims; she's dismissed them in a professional manner. Lacey knows businesswomen. She knows when she's being forced from an uncomfortable or unprofitable discussion. Since her earlier approach has failed so spectacularly to yield results, perhaps a frontal assault and the added knowledge that the young student isn't quite the idiot she seems will give her something more. It's safe to say that when her interest is piqued and her pride is injured, Lacey becomes a bit stubborn. "Ms. Matsumoto..." She begins quietly, calmly. "I appreciate your concern for the state of my mental health, but I assure you it's as peak as can be...given the situation on this island." The redhead tilts her head to one side in a questioning manner; nerves and fear are forgotten, and even anger takes a back burner as she thinks through everything she's learned thus far, everything that Vera's minimalist reaction to her question has given her. "Rumors, wild animals, and hallucinations...It must be a small number of girls, in total, for something like that to stick. A small number of girls, and fewer still who come out and say anything for fear of being persecuted and ostracized. Am I on the right track so far?" The athletic girl recrosses her legs at the knee, leaning back in her chair at ease and steeples her fingers before her on the armrests, a pose her mother had often used whenever Lacey had been caught doing something wrong and tried to hide it. A little warning bell rings in the back of her mind that something's not going to go well, but she ignores it for the moment. "You yourself, a Head Girl, have enough power here, politically speaking, to tell some of the faculty what's what...and yet you're going to tell me that everything you've heard from me...heard from other girls as well, I would imagine...is mass hysteria inherent in a small group of students? Even with all your power to investigate these strange claims you've found absolutely...nothing at all?" She shakes her head. "I watch people. It's a hobby of mine...and over YEARS in New York, I didn't see enough crazy people, who held similar delusions, that everyone chalked up what they were saying to dementia." She conveniently leaves out the fact that this was in Ithaca, rather than a more densely populated area. "I suppose it's possible we few are suffering from a shared delirium..." 'We few' being a very few indeed; Lacey hasn't interacted much with students outside of her classes, save for Mildred. She's taking a few shots in the dark, but they seem accurate enough. "But doesn't that seem a little unlikely?" She leans a little closer to the lovely Head Girl, her original reason for coming here all but forgotten at this point as her hunger for answers takes over. "I won't insult your intelligence by beating around the bush or trying to lead you into slipping up. Please, Ms. Matsumoto...Vera. Please don't insult mine by pretending I'm a lunatic and brushing me off. What's going on in this place? And why is no one stopping it?" Her eyes finally catch onto something; it's not a big thing, it's only very small...but it's likely what had set her mind to jangling, warning her something is amiss. The Head Girl's face is as calm and impassive as it had been when Lacey had first walked in, wearing her sneakers and faded jeans and tanktop, goggling about and likely not making the most of her first impression. There's only a slight difference; a minute tightening at the corner of the woman's eyes. It's not stress or worry; Lacey's certain that Vera Matsumoto has nerves that make steel look soft and a poker face to put stone statues to shame. But that minute detail, coupled with the dangerous air of this woman...in her anger, Lacey's stormed heedlessly into very deep and very hot water, it seems. A little thrill of fear washes through her at the direct, ice cold gaze of those blue eyes. Eyes that pin her in place like dinner for a diving hawk. This woman is dangerous...perhaps not physically, though Lacey wouldn't bet on that...but power is dangerous, and this woman wears power like clothing. Why hadn't she simply accepted her answer and gone on her way? Foolish pride, perhaps. Because you wanted to see what would happen...Not like this, she thinks. Curiosity led her here, and the possibility of answers to an even more pressing question led her to stay, to confront this woman...And calling her by first name, despite their being unfamiliar with each other, as though they were equals? Little more than a light jab flicked at the other woman's pride as repayment for her own wounded self-esteem. Has she made a terrible mistake?

Author:	Vera [ Thu Sep 11, 2014 4:01 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Never So Free...
"I find it difficult to believe you are in peak mental health when you make such uneducated observations, Ms. Renault," Vera said coldly, "You just compared New York, one of the most populated and diverse areas in the world to an isolated island with a large gender unbalance with limited communications with the rest of the world. Do you know what effect such a place can have on a person, Ms. Renault. I doubt you do as you are certainly not studying psychology. You also have no experience in research either so your data is at best invalid and at worse completely inaccurate. It is rash blind accusations like the ones you just made that led to ignorance in the masses in the rest of the world." "I have not brushed you off, Ms. Renault," Vera clarified. The Head Girl had no tells. She had been at this for years. A poker face was not enough to survive this job. Revealing anything about the island and its purpose meant death for the woman. It was with that knowledge, the Head Girl molded herself into the perfect woman to keep secrets. There was no tightness in the eyes beyond Lacey telling herself that there was, hoping to have something to go off after making these accusations. But just like all students that come up here, the Head Girl would reveal nothing through her voice, actions, or posture. "If I wanted you gone from my room, I would have done so already," she continued, "You claim you won't insult my intelligence and yet you did the moment you brushed off my response. You did not come here for answers. You already have your own answer and you will refuse to budge from that stance while pushing your incorrect information upon myself." "I could explain exactly what sort of symptoms can occur in a setting such as this," she said softly, "I could explain how you watched not even a fraction of the entire population of New York in a focused area of an entire state. I could tell you how in my YEARS of being on this island and helping students that I have drawn many correlations and similarities between the students who had similar hallucinations. The school staff and NICE labs can also provide much of this information. But, you will not listen to me. You already believe I am hiding something and will think every word I say is a lie. I will also not explain anything about the other students as doing so would break confidence." "Any student seeking help will receive help from the school," Vera stated, "But, paranoia is always an issue. Students think everyone is against them and lash out. I can only help those willing to take steps to help themselves. You do not care about any of that though, Ms. Renault. You did not come for my assistance. You did not come here to learn anything. You came because you wanted to pick a fight. Nothing disappoints me more than a student wasting my time when that time could put forth towards helping students who actually need and want my help. So with that, I would like it if you leave and perhaps consider taking a more thorough look at this school and this setting before making blind accusations." Lacey had nothing to bring to the table. She came and made an accusation with no proof beyond the words of unknown students. Lacey has watched some unknown people in a populated state in the US for years. Vera has watched a focused group of females on an isolated island with limited male interaction for several years, giving her already better data to work off of than what Lacey brought forth. Honestly, the students were always so blind of how little they truly know and yet that wear that ignorance like a badge in hopes it would rub off onto others and fall for their wild claims. But the worst part was how quickly the silver haired woman was able to read the student. The flares in her aura gave away much. There was fear but every attempt to prod for a response out of Vera revealed thrills of anticipation. The student came her wanting to goad a reaction out of the Head Girl. Lacey was not the first student to attempt such a thing. But in the end, Vera was a professional who has run a business. Lacey was not even in the same league when it came to debate and discussion.

Author:	Lacey [ Thu Sep 11, 2014 6:25 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Never So Free...
Crushed. That's the best word to sum it up; this woman is colder than a glacier and twice as impossible to budge. Her words, the way she delivers them to Lacey, are precise and to the point, a well-trained mind deflecting the redhead's questions and accusations neatly while thrusting home with evidence to the contrary. Read like an open book and all her questions and assertions neatly parried aside, it stings her pride, makes her doubt...is it possible the Head Girl is right? The redhead knows there's more than just students on this island; she's met six of the creatures already up to this point and heard of more than just those six, and while she would love nothing so much as to say that they were hallucinations, she knows better. But perhaps she IS off kilter...would it be so odd, considering what she's gone through? No...and that's frightening to her. But she does know for a fact that, whatever else may be true, there ARE monsters on this island. Lacey hangs her head as the onslaught of logic from the impeccable Head Girl continues. There's no way for her to fight this battle. She has facts; she doesn't have proof of them. Vera however has years of accepted human norms at her back; there's no such thing as monsters, people tend to become a little odd when not allowed full human contact for a time, or when their human contact is skewed from the norm in nature, i.e. nothing but girls on an island. Add to that the fact that the girls aren't allowed to leave the island to visit family and friends, there's no phoning home, and the fact that they're forced to adjust to a new environment with only severely limited touches of home, if any at all...and you have all the evidence you need that Lacey might just be another student succumbing to hysteria, giving in to delusions. Occam's Razor would suggest as much. Her own arguments to the contrary are pure conjecture without some type of proof to offer...and how likely is she to come up with such proof? Chances aren't in her favor, and she knows it. Her arguments are torn apart one after another, scattered like chaff before the wind, and all Lacey can feel is disappointment and shame. She does have her own answer; there are things out there after the girls on the island. She knows it, has experienced it...but that doesn't mean that Vera has. Her original purpose had been lost in a surge of fanatical zeal in trying to uncover something; even if this woman has the answers, she won't give them...and Lacey's becoming more and more doubtful that she has any to give in the first place. In which case, her attempts at learning the truth have reached a dead-end, and her interest in coming here will likely yield no fruit either. Screwed that one up, didn't you? She sighs inwardly; this is humiliating enough without being mocked by herself. Face it...you came up here with the express purpose of being overpowered and she's done just that...only logically instead of physically. She grits her teeth. This woman...Lacey is so far out of her depth with Vera it's not even a contest...what had she been thinking? She HAD been picking a fight...that much is clear, regardless of her intentions. Which means the next part is going to hurt like hell... "I..." She chokes back shame at her behavior. This has to be done...she's not giving up on learning what's going on at this island, but badgering this woman isn't how she's going to learn. And she's in the wrong; she knows that much. "I...apologize." She looks up from her contemplation of her lap, her eyes locking on to Vera's. It's not an appropriate apology without eye contact. "I apologize for my behavior." She sighs. "My conduct has been grossly unbecoming, and I apologize for wasting your time with it." Conceding defeat to an opponent is never an easy thing to do. Being outclassed to this degree, however...there's nothing to be gained by continuing at this point. She'll have to find her answers elsewhere, if at all. "Picking a fight wasn't my original purpose in coming here...but it certainly turned out that way." She rises, bowing her head to the beauty before her. "I'll take your advice to heart, Ms. Matsumoto. Thank you for your time." She turns, but pauses part way through. "I've heard countless other rumors...concerning yourself. They say you have a far stricter approach to recalcitrant students than is the norm. I should be thankful that this rumor, at least, appears to be untrue." Liar...her mind hisses spitefully. You're not thankful for it in the least. Feeling foolish and disappointed in her own inability to keep her focus, the redhead turns to leave the suite.

Author:	Vera [ Fri Sep 12, 2014 4:32 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Never So Free...
Vera's face remained as stolid as before though the results of her verbal retaliation did not go unnoticed. The student's shoulders were slumped over, her head hanging in shame for coming at the Head Girl with no preparation what so ever. It was truly satisfying seeing a student defeated verbally. It meant no further time needed to be wasted on correcting the student. But even more than that, it meant this student was still capable of listening and learning. Lacey lost this battle and was willing to admit that and stand down. That in itself was worthy or praise. "The only thing you need to know is that a Head Girl is here to help students," Vera corrected, "Do not forget that, Ms. Renault. You listening to rumors is what led you to make this poor decision in the first place." The Head Girl would not confirm or deny her methods of correcting students. It was irrelevant in this conversation. It may have been Lacey's goal to find out how physical Vera could get only to find out the Head Girl did not rely on pure physical dominance to deal with students. There was nothing more to say on the matter. Lacey was most likely not convinced despite Vera's explanation. But it showed just how fruitless it was to just cry wolf to everyone. Everyone was just going to look at students like Lacey and think they are crazy. Any concerns would immediately be dealt with logic and the victims would be further isolated from the student control group. In the end, the more Lacey and others fought against the system, the more the system would isolate them from the rest of the student body further insinuating that isolation was the cause of this instability and hallucinations. Lacey was allowed to leave. The door shuts behind the student, leaving her standing in hall. The poor woman was completely defeated. What was she going to do now? She had no answers and made a very poor first impression on Vera. Vera on the other hand just continued with her day as if nothing had happened. A few notes were made about Lacey's behavior but no demerits were given. For the Head Girl, this was all part of her usual work day.

Author:	Lacey [ Fri Sep 12, 2014 5:57 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Never So Free...
Leaving the Head Girl's suite doesn't relieve Lacey's sense of shame. For a moment she just stands outside the door after it closes, thinking over what Vera had told her. There had been information there; not what she'd wanted to find, but if nothing else there was a little nugget of wisdom; nothing she says or does is going to rally anyone to fight these things, to figure out why this is going on. There simply aren't enough people willing to break out of societal norms to accept that something odd is happening on this island and make noise about it. There are only a few students at any time who encounter this horrible fate, of this she's certain. The bottom line is simple; if she wants to fight against these creatures, she's on her own. Even the Head Girl has no clue, as far as Lacey is aware, of the creatures on this island and what they like to do. "Idiot..." She murmurs softly to herself. The Head Girl, Vera Matsumoto...why had she tried so hard to force that woman into a corner and answer her question? The way things turned out, it really WOULD have been a better impression to just throw herself at the white-haired woman's feet and beg for what she wants. It couldn't have been a worse one, at any rate; THAT splendid performance is going to be pretty hard to top. Pretty hard to recover from, too. Lacey sighs. Completely dominated, and only with words...the woman is in a different class altogether. Miles doesn't even begin to cover the amount of distance between them...try light years. She can't remember the last time she'd been so thoroughly outclassed in anything. It doesn't help that proof and evidence of what she's talking about is hard to come by, and her own personal experiences are little better than the rumors she's cited without proof...but all the same, it had been foolish to even begin a debate with the woman without something, ANYTHING, more solid than what she'd brought. And so it would be were she to take her concerns elsewhere. Shut down with complete authority...and Vera hadn't even used the THREAT of punishment to put her in her place. Just...logic. The system itself is her weapon, and she wields it with deadly efficiency. She'd completely overwhelmed Lacey's will with words alone...the little redhead squirms a little, surprised to find a familiar little tingle rushing through her body. "God, I'm sick..." She sighs at her body's excited state, moving to the elevator and taking it down to the ground floor. She exits the tower in a pensive mood; she has many things to think about now, and a great deal of those things come from Vera's words and the way she'd defeated Lacey so soundly. If nothing else, the redhead is a quick learner, regardless of what mistakes she makes. . . . Several hours later, Lacey stands at the foot of that tower again. She'd gone to her dorm to do some of her work...but unable to focus, she'd taken a walk as per Vera's suggestion. She'd wandered for a bit, watching the girls around campus; very few of them seemed withdrawn or worried or nervous at all. Most of her peers seem to not realize anything is amiss. Adept at watching people, Lacey could only pick up a few girls who seemed withdrawn or nervous; they rarely traveled alone, and even seeing that much, it had been impossible for her to say whether or not they'd been victims of attack. Even if they had, would they fight if given the choice, the chance? It had been a confirmation to what she'd learned from Vera; there's no way to fight what's going on here on this island outside of her own personal strength. Any attempt at fighting openly would only end with Lacey ostracized and estranged...and therefor, an easier target for the things that want to take her. The herd mentality; humanity's greatest weakness, and its only real armor. And in this place, at this time, Lacey isn't strong enough to break free from that mentality and stand on her own. Other thoughts had drifted through her mind, even as she'd watched and learned. Drawing conclusions and learning about the disposition of the students, thinking about the words the Head Girl had spoken to her...Lacey is more than a little startled to discover Vera popping up in her thoughts more and more often. What had started off as idle curiosity had changed and shifted around to something nearing obsession. More and more throughout her wanderings, she finds her mind drifting back to that cool-as-ice woman...and her body gives a little thrill each time. So what are you doing here, watching the sheep? Why aren't you talking to the shepherdess instead? Watching. Learning. Reconsidering. She's well aware of what she wants from Vera, and it isn't just answers. But going back without having actually heeded any of that advice she'd been given...that wouldn't make things any better. When she returns to the Head Girl, she'll have something to show for her time spent off and away. Maybe not evidence of her convictions...but at least she'll have learned something. Which is what brings the redhead here once more. Mind opened to more truths than just the one she'd narrow-mindedly followed, she takes the elevator once more to the top of that tower. She has plenty of time to reflect on the things she's noted, the things she's learned. It's one thing to be told of such things; another entirely to have experienced them for herself. Oddly enough, she feels...cleansed somehow. There's still shame at her earlier conduct...but then, that's partly the reason she's riding this elevator, isn't it? In order to make amends. To scrub the last of that shame clean, for her own sake rather than anyone else's. The doors sweep open and she finds herself outside the door to Vera Matsumoto's suite once more. She has no clue if the Head Girl is even in there at this time, or if she's in the middle of something...but this time, there's little of the doubt remaining and none of the nerves. She's here with a purpose...with dual purposes. Raising her hand, she knocks on the lovely woman's door for the second time that day, ignoring the thrilled rush that sweeps through her and waiting to see if she'll be granted entry. She can't blame Vera if the woman decides not to bother with the troublesome student; she hadn't made the best impression last time. But still, all Lacey can do now is wait and see if she gets to try again.

Author:	Vera [ Sat Sep 13, 2014 12:52 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Never So Free...
When given a chance to retreat, either students took the kind offer or stubborning stand and fight a useless battle they cannot hope to win. Those who retreat rarely ever returned and those who did came back usually days later. It was rarity to have a student present herself so poorly, leave and come back mere hours later. But, such was the case with Lacey as a familiar knock and aura came to the door. "Come in," once again, the student was allowed to return to Vera's home that also acted as her office. No greeting was given this time as Vera merely gazed at Ms. Renault. What was this student hoping to accomplish after returning so soon? There was no way the woman had enough proof to launch a counter argument much less have any proof at all. But here the redhead was. The Head Girl waited for Lacey to approach and either sit down or stand before her desk. "Ms. Renault..." Vera began, "What brings you back to my office?" A simple and straight to the point question. She had no interest in playing further games. She wanted to hear Lacey's reasoning then decide on whether this one was wasting her time again or not.

Author:	Lacey [ Sat Sep 13, 2014 5:53 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Never So Free...
Once more she opens the door and enters the domain of the most powerful (human) woman on the campus, though this time knowing what to expect, she doesn't gape at everything around her. Once more the redhead walks across the tile floor towards the platinum-haired beauty, though this time with her true purpose in mind, she doesn't carry that anxiety with her she's previously displayed. This time, the redhead comes with clear focus and intent. Bowing her head in both greeting and thanks for once again being granted entry, Lacey takes her seat. Bidden by the icy woman to speak, Lacey makes her case in simple and uncomplicated terms; she's not here to argue further. She hadn't been here to argue in the first place, though it'd turned out that way. "First, further apology. Having had time to cool down and walk around the school, as you've suggested, I realize a little better the scope and depth of my accusations and their possible consequences." Green eyes gaze into impassive ice blue ones, and she's struck once more by the complete calm the woman exudes. "It was foolish of me to bring such things to bear at all, even if I HAD brought evidence of my claims. Proof of it...even the accusations themselves in some case...heard by anyone else would have only perpetuated rumors and served to make some of the student body feel nervous and insecure...those more given to lending credence to rumor, at any rate." Her eyes drop to the desk, and she barely manages to avoid letting her lips twist into a bitter smile at that. "Such as myself." She hates even pretending to accept the idea the monsters aren't real; she's run into far too many of them now to believe that. But this is more important than pride. "While it would no doubt lead to my own estrangement from the student body, it also would have had minor repercussions for others. Not serious, perhaps...but my blindly forging forward in that argument would only have served to make more students uncomfortable, upset those who share my...convictions, and made your job more difficult for you." Her gaze comes back up to Vera's. While she dislikes even pretending to accept the possibility that the monsters are all imaginary, the rest of her apology speaks truth; contemplation has led her to realize some of the potential reactions, should the rumors about the island and the Head Girl perpetuate. They wouldn't shake the school apart, far from it; but they WOULD make Vera's workload greater, even if only a little. "So once more, for my crass behavior and lack of thought earlier, I apologize. My actions were nothing short of shameful." The apology itself isn't the only reason Lacey's here either; hopefully it will help to smooth things over a little on its own, but she doubts that. Had she approached the matter with any degree of finesse or forethought prior to making her little claim and responding to Vera's words out of piqued pride, an apology wouldn't have been necessary in the first place; she'd have seen where such actions led before even opening her mouth, if only she'd used her head. Vera is no doubt already aware of this. Even if the Head Girl isn't aware, Lacey is a firm believer in the idea that talk is cheap and actions speak louder. "More importantly than apologizing however...I'm here for atonement, and to submit myself for betterment." She takes a deep breath before continuing. "While I'm doubtful that my actions would have caused little more than ripples in the daily lives of my peers and classmates, quickly calmed and forgotten...they would have had a non-beneficial effect nonetheless. To this end, I'll submit myself to your authority; whatever tasks you see fit that will aid the school and the students that you feel I can carry out, I'll gladly do." There must be something that Lacey can do around the school, even if it's simple campus maintenance; a place this huge, one Head Girl and her Prefects can't possibly get everything done themselves. Maybe there's something beneath their notice but worth looking into that Lacey can do. "In this way, I'll atone for potentially causing unrest among my peers and better myself that I might avoid such action in the future." Another deep breath. A little flicker of her earlier nervousness comes back, but she quells it quickly; giving in to her nerves is what got her sent out in the first place and started this whole fiasco. Just do it and get it over with. Something she should have told herself from the start. "Furthermore...atonement to you personally. For wasting your time and efforts earlier on today, I'll submit myself to you directly, rather than to your authority and the campus. In whatever way you deem fit, I'll make atonement for wasting your time." She can't help but smile just a little this time. Better to be honest; tip-toeing around this earlier had only started an unwanted argument and made a mess of her first impression, arguably the most important one. "To be truthful...that was the reason I'd come in earlier, base as it may seem. Not for wasting your time, I mean...for submitting myself to you. Further rumors suggest that you have...interesting hobbies revolving around the basement. Originally...my coming here was a graceless attempt to find out if they held any truth." Which likely would have been easier to accomplish if she'd simply asked instead of dancing around the matter. "I suppose...while now it has a pretty face, dressed up as repayment for time wasted on someone like me, it's still selfish in nature." She looks across the desk at Vera, who is as unreadable as ever. "But even for selfish reasons, my wish to atone is sincere. For time wasted on my arguments earlier, I'll devote some of my time to you in whatever manner you see fit. For time taken that could have been used to help other students, I'll devote some of my time to my peers and the school as well, and work to make this a better place, rather than a more chaotic one." Lacey sits still, fighting down the urge to fidget. If only the woman showed something...be it approval or irritation. Then again if she did, she'd likely not be as exciting and interesting as she is. Part of that intrigue is her unreadable nature, lending her an air of mystery and danger.

Author:	Vera [ Sat Sep 13, 2014 5:43 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Never So Free...
Vera did not interrupt as Lacey explained herself and apologized for her previous conduct. The student even offered herself to try and help the school and the Head Girl herself as a form of making amends. It was perhaps the quickest change of view the silver haired woman had ever seen. But the purpose was clear. This was not a matter of improving the school. Lacey merely desired to be defeated, conquered, dominated. Submitting to the school and the system was certainly a quick way to achieve such a goal. But, how should Vera react to such a confession? "Your apology is accepted, Ms. Renault," Vera replied softly, "But, I cannot say what I feel for your attempts for atonement. I do not know what rumors you have heard of me as there are many. What I do downstairs in the basement is not a hobby, it is my job. If you had tried to provoke me in taking you down there, I would have taken you into the basement and simply left you there, leaving you unsatisfied while you thought about your poor decisions that led you being there in the first place." The Head Girl did not state what would happen as a threat but merely as a fact. She was not here for Lacey's or any student's entertainment. Vera would never allow a student to use her in such a way. "Your submission does nothing for me as you have yet to offer anything. You will devote time to your peers and the school? What will you be doing during that time? How will you make Shokushu a better place? What are you offering when you submit to me, Ms. Renault?" Lacey was not the first student to come offering herself to a Head Girl. But, this student's previous conduct made it more difficult to accept such an offer. Lacey came in before seeking answers and tried to force Vera to reveal secrets that she could never hope to understand. Would accepting these offers of submission give the woman something to work with? Doubtful. But, Vera was not one to leap at every opportunity to turn a student into a submissive pet. No, a student had to prove themselves worthy of her notice and be useful to not only Vera herself but the school. Of course to do that Lacey would have to learn to submit to Shokushu and stop trying to push matters when it came to monsters. Would she be able to do that? Would she be able to soothe a student's worries when they are attacked and convince them that nothing is wrong?

Author:	Lacey [ Sat Sep 13, 2014 9:08 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Never So Free...
Lacey feels a sense of relief at the acceptance of her apology; it's sincere, after all. She knows this much because she's the one making the apology, but she wouldn't have blamed Vera for not believing her. There's no way for the white haired woman to know how heartfelt it is after all, particularly given their first meeting. So it's without either surprise or dismay that Lacey listens to Vera's words about her self-arranged atonement. Actions speak louder than words...but Lacey's first actions hadn't been sterling in the least. Naturally the Head girl is loathe to put any faith in proposed future actions. So be it. It's up to the redhead to convince her. Truth is obviously the way to go...never mind how awkward the truth may be. Lacey feels her cheeks color a bit at the mention of the rumors about Vera...the thoughts of being left unsatisfied bringing a phantom twinge of both anguish and excitement. The excitement is dulled by the thought that this woman wouldn't finish her off if or when she let Lacey go; she'd just let her go, walking her way back to her dorm in shame and defeat and frustration burning through to her very core, where...okay, maybe it's not all THAT dulled...Focus. Now's not the time. She closes her eyes and shakes her head, clearing her thoughts for a moment. "The rumors I spoke of...I heard them before I came to see you." Obviously. "I didn't know what truth there may or may not have been to them, but...I wanted to find out. I didn't know how...to just come out and ask. That was...my interest in coming to see you in the first place." She breathes deep and sighs out. "I can't pretend that the thoughts don't still intrigue me a bit. It's...as I said before, my atonement to you, personally...it's a little selfish. BOTH of my attempts are selfish to an extent, I know that...submitting myself for the good of the school is my way of righting a wrong that I've done. But it's also my way of feeling better for acting like a foolish child." Getting the words out is difficult for her; no one likes to be proven a fool, and everyone likes less to have to admit it out loud. "My submission to you...is much the same. I tried to test your patience for my own desires and rather than the outcome I wanted, I came away looking incapable and pathetic. I hate that...and I have no one to blame for it but myself. So naturally my thoughts on the matter are, if I can somehow make up for wasting your time, prove myself capable to the person I failed so spectacularly in front of...maybe I can regain a measure of dignity." What the woman is looking for doesn't seem to be much of an enigma to the redhead; it's a question of credibility, of which Lacey has none at the moment. What can Lacey do, and how is Vera to know the student's efforts will be sincere and unceasing? Lacey knows she means what she's saying...but how to go about proving it, right here and now...THAT'S the difficult part. She struggles not with Vera's questions; they're simple. She struggles with how to give the answer she wants to give. The redhead cycles through options easily implemented first, something to show as a token of good faith. A public declaration of apology for unbecoming conduct? Too many questions involved, and that apology as well as any answers to those questions would only result in Lacey being ostracized...which means her usefulness to the campus and to the woman she hopes with whom to make amends would be nonexistent. Cleaning up the campus is less the chore of someone hoping to be useful to both the campus and the Head Girl, and more something one should do out of simple pride in the place one hopes to achieve learning...and it's a bit childish anyway. What CAN she do...? Something that helps the school...something to make up for her infraction of proprieties... Questions. Her questions...the way she'd barged in and shoved her accusations at the Head Girl. It had been senseless and would have been a nuisance, however minor, by itself...but how many other girls have been attacked? How many other girls feel isolated by these attacks, unable to speak to anyone about them or get any answers, as she feels even now? How many other girls would go around, speaking of their experiences and asking thos same questions, only to find themselves stonewalled? And if a large enough number of these girls got together and started trying to tell everyone in a concerted effort...would it still be just a nuisance, or would it become a full-fledged problem? Would the attacks remain isolated in an unlikely event such as that, or would every student be open game? Just thinking on the kind of chaos a scenario like that could cause...it's terrifying. Perhaps...if done properly, perhaps she can provide relief to those other victims while at the same time keeping them from upsetting the students who have no clue. Perhaps she can keep some semblance of order among those like her, keeping them from banding together...it's a painful thought, taking that feeling of security in numbers away from the victims, but she knows for a fact that if the entire school were to swarm a single one of the monsters in unison, they'd still likely lose due to...whatever it is that saps a girl's strength during those encounters. Numbers in such a scenario would be meaningless to the girls. Something like that, no matter how unlikely, must be avoided at all costs. Anything even remotely resembling the kind of turbulence that would create...it can't happen. For the sake of all the students who are blessed enough to never once find themselves attacked, and for the sake of those who have been attacked already, it can't be allowed. But how to stop it? Simple enough, if difficult to carry out on an individual basis; offer companionship to those like her. A sympathetic ear, though one that doesn't encourage thoughts of rash action. A shoulder to cry on and a voice to offer hope. A vast part of her outburst earlier that day had been a void of any kind of answer, and an utter lack of anyone to speak to about what she feels is going on. Convincing anyone that an attack hasn't happened to them at all, that they just dreamed it will be impossible...but offering an outlet for that grief is something she can do. And in doing so, perhaps she can regulate what is said, what actions are taken between the students, and stop something disastrous from happening. Act as a censor, a screen keeping the two groups of students separate even while they're together...and perhaps even as a sentinel. Being close to the victims gives her a chance to perhaps even save one or two of them somehow. Something like that...she can do. Vera and the other students who don't know about the monsters can continue on without that knowledge, believing themselves safe; the victims can seek a measure of solace in Lacey's confidences; matters can be kept from getting out of hand. Lacey has no doubt that an undertaking like this is going to be a great deal of work for one person, maybe even impossible...but perhaps, even if she can't fix what's going on in this school...perhaps she can make something of a difference. But how to speak her idea to Vera without mention of monsters and without lying through her teeth? The woman is uncanny in her ability to read the redheaded student...even if she were to hold some of the details back, Vera would be on her like a hawk, shutting out all chances of redemption...still, she has to try. "How many other students do you deal with like myself, Ms. Matsumoto?" She asks quietly, an answer as to how she can walk this tightrope coming to mind. Why lie or speak half-truths when the full truth will do just fine? Leave out finer details...such as the fact that the monster attack victims really ARE victims...and she'll have an answer that fits with Vera's expectations of normalcy, while at the same time getting across the good that Lacey wants to do for her peers. "How many girls come here to talk to you of their fears and doubts? How many more to your prefects...? And to whatever guidance counselor or professor will listen? And worse yet...how many more just bottle them up inside, breaking down slowly with no one to talk to? A few students hear about such things and rumors begin to spread throughout more of them, even as you said earlier. Students can see it when someone breaks down that way, words can be overheard when spoken to a counselor or professor and then gossiped about later. Every once in a while some student with more good intention than common sense in her head storms into the office of a school official or Head Girl and demands answers to questions that shouldn't exist." She stings to use her own outburst as an example...but it's the truth. Lacey spreads her hands questioningly as she continues. "And for what reason? Because they're afraid. Because WE are afraid. Why? For various reasons...far away from home, in a strange place, among a large number of our peers without the benefit of parents or friends for those who find social interaction awkward...we're outside of societal norms here on this island that we grew up with before we came here. Anyone is bound to feel stressed or upset. So what can anyone do about this?" She leans forward, intent on this purpose. "Let someone talk to them. Let someone who understands, someone who's not a part of the faculty...someone on the same level as they are talk to them. Let ME talk to them, one student to another, or even to a small group of two or three. Let me address their issues individually however I may and offer the comfort that somewhere on this island, SOMEWHERE in this strange place...there's a person who cares out of simple concern for her classmates, who once held feelings similar to their own." She sits back. "I've wasted your time and come dangerously close to causing a nuisance within the student body, no matter how short-lived it might have been. Let my atonement fit my crime; allow me to stop something like this from happening on a larger scale, affecting morale and productivity school-wide." So far so good... "I'll reach out to those who harbor fears, be they like mine or something altogether different. I'll reach out to those who feel they have no one to talk to; I'm not a guidance councilor, I'm not a teacher, I'm not a Head Girl or one of the Prefects. I'm a student, and a relatively new one at that; I'm an equal. Let an equal talk to them, reassure them that they are not alone in their fears, but that they mustn't let fear overcome rational thought; let me show them that there is more to their life here than whatever they fear, and help them past that pain. When someone hurts inside and has no one to talk to...I can be the person they speak to, the one who offers an outlet, someone who won't cast them out and exacerbate the problem." She continues, gaining enthusiasm for this idea; she CAN help the other victims while keeping the other students safe! And perhaps in so doing, she can even stop her own slow spiral into madness. "When there are whispers and rumors about the odd girl who says she saw something, or about the student who cries herself to sleep and won't tell anyone why...I can assess the situation easily, find a way to resolve the problem, and quell the rumors. I have no position of authority; learning about what ails my classmates is just what a concerned person SHOULD do. And I AM concerned about them, so why shouldn't I do this much? I can assuage their fears and doubts. I can help them to calm down and think rationally." She looks into Vera's eyes directly, her own burning with a passion for her task that she feels to the core of her being. No one should suffer silently through what this place offers. "I can move among them in a way you never could; people fear you, Ms. Matsumoto. And they fear your Prefects by extension, because they are yours. I however am not a part of your camp. They have no reason to fear me...and if I can gain their trust, then I can help them so no one has to stew in anguish over these things, feeling the way I did." She feels proud of this. Every word is the truth and nothing is left out, save for mention of monsters attacking and raping girls; Vera doesn't need to know about that. None of the other students do. And the ones that already know through firsthand experience need help...and a voice to stanch the flow of rumors and head off rash action. "In this way, I can prove useful to Shokushu; simply by being someone who listens. And if I'm successful at it, then it should be obvious what advantages that brings to you personally, Ms. Matsumoto." She nods her head deferentially to Vera. "I can provide a deeper insight into what the students are feeling because I have no authority. I'm not even on the student council; I'm merely another peer. I can give you information on the general sentiment of the student body in a way you might not be so easily able to obtain otherwise, and even possibly on individual students that may well be impossible for you to attain otherwise. I can be useful to you...and to them. Both those suffering and those just trying to get on with their daily lives and finish school." She takes a deep breath and concludes her speech finally, after what feels like hours. "At best, the outcome of accepting my atonement is a general increase in the mental and emotional well-being of at least a portion of the students here. At worst? I fall flat on my face and look even more foolish than I already do, and all at no cost or risk to you." Lacey sits back and waits for Vera's thoughts on her proposed undertaking, hoping for the best; even if she's rejected, it may be worth the trouble to go through with her plan anyway. Even without Vera's backing, something like this could do a great deal of good...but perhaps redemption is within reach. And maybe you'll even get what you REALLY want...thoughts from earlier return, though she pushes them down. She can't deny that she has desires that are purely selfish at work here as well...but she can keep them from corrupting the goal she strides for, tarnishing her desire to help people.

Author:	Vera [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 2:54 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Never So Free...
Lacey was certainly sounding eager to go with this plan. The student even seemed confident that things would work out just as she envisioned though there was no proof that such an outcome would occur. Still, at least the woman was trying to help even if it seemed a bit out of scope for just one student. "As I said before, Ms. Renault," Vera answered, "Only a few experience mental issues due to being isolated on an island populated near entirely of females. And just like anyone who experiences problems, only a fraction of them seek proper help. Just as I told you before, we can only help those who seek it and wish to help themselves. Your proposed solution still bears all the same issues. You are an equal but you are also a complete stranger. You also have no means of tracking down those who are stewing in supposed anguish as you say." "And what is it you plan to tell such a person, hm?" the Head Girl continued, "What will you say that will soothe their concerns while also not spreading more lies and rumors? In case you have forgotten, you called me a liar the moment I tried to soothe your concerns. The moment you do the same, they will assume you are on the school's 'side' and your words will mean very little." "I have already forgiven you and allowed you to leave my office despite your previous outburst, Ms. Renault," she continued, "You are under no obligation to do anything for atonement. You are free to do as you wish as long as they within the boundaries of the rules. But, do remember that you are not a councilor or a psychologist. You are not trained in dealing with mental and emotional issues. You are just a student, an equal as you say." That was all Vera would say on the suggestion. If Lacey wanted to talk to more victims, so be it. Most victims had no memories of any attacks and those that did were a very small population that Lacey was unfortunately a part of. There was little that can be done if Lacey chose to reassure those victims and inform them that there are others who suffered similar attacks. It was expected and already calculated. This was part of the reason why the rumors never grew much more than that and those who attempt to spread such rumors were quickly pushed away from the main student body.

Author:	Lacey [ Sun Sep 14, 2014 5:38 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Never So Free...
Lacey listens all the way through Vera's response; the woman makes good points about the flaws in Lacey's plan. It's far from a perfect solution, little more than a band-aid really; whatever she might do to help her fellow victims, it wouldn't make the monster attacks stop and it wouldn't really help those few who needed help the most much...but even so, it's all she can really do. Still, the questions Vera poses to her are accurate...and dangerous to answer, though answer she must. "It's true that help can only come to those who seek it and tracking down a person is all but impossible without generating rumors all their own; if I go about asking people I don't know and who don't know me about individuals, I'll quickly find myself outside of the other students' zone of comfort. Any attempt I make at that point to learn anything new will quickly meet resistance." She shakes her head. "But I'm not going to go door to door and ask people what's what about themselves or their neighbors. Honestly...it's more like fishing than tracking. If I see someone who looks upset...I'll talk to them. Chances are low that it's anything worse than just a bad day, but if they wish to speak to me they will. I can offer simple encouragement, as one person to another...and if it turns out to BE one of the students who, like myself, has more than just a bad test score on her mind...then the best I can do is attempt to befriend her and help to calm and reassure her however I can." And now for the difficult part; she can't let on that the monsters are real. She can't even hint that they might be, but what to say? "Obviously what I say will vary greatly between individuals; there's no magical formulation of words that's going to instantly make everyone feel better. It's going to have to be a case by case basis...but more important than what I say is what I do. The entire problem isn't that no one is TALKING to these girls; it's that they feel no one is LISTENING. My response...it's something I'll have to work on between individuals." She nods her head, acknowledging both Vera's point and her own example. "It's true that I called you a liar, but there are several key differences here; you're in a position of power and power means answers, as far as most people who can put two and two together are concerned. I'm in no such position; people won't assume I have answers to give, merely that I'm someone who cares about how they feel and will listen to what they have to say with a sympathetic ear." She contemplates how to point out the next difference tactfully. "Further still...if you'll recall, you told me about the rumors and how they start, in answer to my questions...and then went on to suggest that I may be suffering a mental breakdown, and to a sufficient degree that it may warrant medication. While truthful, possible, and to the point...it's not the sort of thing anyone wants to hear, and is far from soothing. It's obvious to me now that it wasn't meant as an insult, merely the most logical choice to end a series of questions that have no sufficient answer, and one means by which a student can find a measure of comfort. But at the time, upset and without answers? Had you left that part out, I may have asked another question or two, but I doubt I would have gone so far as I did." Lacey shakes her head. "Not that I'm implying it's your fault. I'm a grown woman, responsible for my own actions. I let my temper get out of control rather than embracing clarity and understanding the direction you were coming from at the time...but my point is that, given that same response on the spot, there aren't many who would react favorably. Some, but not many." But still, what would she say to them instead, were she in Vera's position? Something to think about...and quickly. "Rather than suggest a person is unstable, for example...I might offer to take someone to the nurse myself, suggesting that taking some rest might help. Should they agree, I can take them to someone who IS qualified to offer a medical diagnosis and dispense medication if necessary, tell them quietly why I've brought the student in question, and allow them to determine the best course." The redhead concludes, "The student comes to the nurse of their own volition with little more than a helping hand, the nurse is able to identify whether or not said student requires any sort of treatment, confidentiality is maintained as there's no one around to spread any rumors, and I've acted well within my limits and boundaries to help someone. If successful, the result will resemble what you offered, though the course differs greatly. And while you yourself don't have the luxury of enough time to take every student who comes to see you about this problem to the nurse...I do have that luxury, generally speaking." Not a perfect solution and Lacey knows it...but then there IS no perfect solution, and while it's a highly singular scenario, it's an answer nonetheless. One with a reasonably high chance of success and low risk to all involved parties...Lacey included. She nods gratefully to Vera. "I'm aware that I've been forgiven, and I thank you for it very much. It means a great deal to me. The obligation I feel to carry this out is my own, no one else's. As I said earlier, I want to do this for myself as much as to make amends to you and the school for my mistakes. I feel that this is one way I can do that. I know I'm no councilor, no kind of doctor at all; I'm not trying to play one. I merely want to be an outlet, someone who listens and can make gentle suggestions as to where students suffering from something might be able to find help. The first step is wanting to be helped, as you've pointed out; you don't have to be a trained professional to listen to someone who's in pain, and just letting someone vent their anguish to the point where they're clear-headed enough to think again is likely to increase the chance that they'll seek help. Nor do you have to be a doctor to hold someone's hand while you take them somewhere they can receive assistance; you just have to care. And who cares more than an equal, a peer who was once in a similar situation?" Again, not a perfect solution...but Lacey feels someone should be out there, making the attempt. It's her idea, so naturally she should be that someone...and while she doesn't need school approval to help the other girls in this fashion, she feels it's important to let Vera know that she's serious about helping out.

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