An unspoilt wilderness populated by unspoilt virgins, the perfect place for any self-respecting lust driven individual to engage in a few quiet pleasures. Or at least that's what the brochure said.

It'd been two days since he first landed on this forsaken wasteland and he'd seen neither hide nor hair of any "unspoilt virgins" though he had managed to hear the wet sounds of a luckier beast enjoying itself, in fact he'd begun to realise that if he wanted to receive anything more than the occassional voyeuristic pleasure during this trip, he'd have to get smart.

To that end Illendos decided to recruit some aid from the local plants, the flora being as magnificent as it was varied, as such he'd begun to dissect and distill whichever plant took his fancy, when he came upon a remarkable new species, a few flowers, all living in such proximity to what must be the mother flower, much larger than the rest.

After a few hours studying like some third rate gardener, he decided to begin surgically dissecting the smallest of the flowers he'd found, not even beginning to put together in his head the strange habbits of this bloom with the rumours of living plants.

The simple mistake of not connecting the strange flowers to the rumors of living plants would prove to cause a problem for the sex starved Illendos in the very near future as if he had investigated the "mother" flower closer he would have seen that the massive bloom was not as simple as it appeared. Instead of the simple parts of a normal plant the massive flower's center almost seemed a window to some other place, with what was obviously its caretaker sleeping naked, her voluptous body splayed across a bed made of flower petals.

The only reason he had gotten so near her home was indeed because the plant woman was asleep but as the attempting gardener made his first incision into the smallest of her "garden" the sleeping woman's eye cracked open obviously irritated as the incisions left her head throbbing, the baby flowers growing from her boundless life force and the meals she took from the residents of Shokushu until they reached adulthood.

Even so, the Floare was not quite ready to get up with such little motivation so with a thought she connected to the flowers and said "I don't care who you are. Will you just put down the flower and leave now?" The voice seemed to appear from multiple directions around Illendos, and the command seemed very calm although a trace of annoyance in the voice made it seem that things would happen if it wasn't obeyed.

The strange voice echoing in his ears set him on edge, his tentacles quickly perking up, as if ready to take flight, before he sighed out loud. "If you can hear me that is a very good parlour trick." he replied, whilst untensing alien joints, his fingers carefully peeling off a single petal and sitting down opposite the flower, he then began to crush that single petal between his nails.

"Bloody 'talking forest'." he grumbled under his breath, even as he works, however his fidgety movements revealed how unsettled he was, pre-emptively he began to flood the air with a mildly dissorientating aphrodisiac, secreting from his fully out stretched macro-villi, whilst he fully focuses on tasting each grain of crushed petal with his long tongue, trying to identify the effects of each chemical by mere taste.

"I can hear you quite well, my skeptical intruder. And I assure you this is no parlour trick." She told him through the flowers, sitting up as he sat down near the smaller flower and began carefully peeling a single petal from the alien bloom. As the petal was crushed between his fingers and she heard him mutter "Bloody 'talking forest' the Floare woman said with a sigh "It seems you need a more active reason to leave.

The aphrodisiac now flooding the area of her lair would have no effect even if her more humanoid body was there as she could tell from the chemical composition that it was designed to work on the animal species, namely humans she supposed. But it was only as the intruder began tasting one of her precious flowers' petals with an amazingly long tongue that she tired of simple negotation. And as the grains of the flower rolled along his tongue the sitting alien gardener would feel the earth rumble slightly before a thorn covered root burst from the earth stopping mere inches from his face.

"Do I have your attention now? Leave the flower and go or I will have to come and remove you personally."

"Aah, I see..." he said, trying not to seem afraid, whilst flapping his tentacle wings and coming to a gentle hover in the nearest hole in the canopy.

"Well this is a pleasure... what a unique species you must be..." he continued almost lecherously, not in the most typical form of desire, but simply from the sheer pleasure of finding such a rare bloom, whilst in the meantime he began to blow on the crushed flower.

Illendos brought his hand up to his chin, his long fingers stroking his jawline as he tried to think up a way to twist such a meeting to his advantage."Perhaps we could come to, some sort of arragement?" the slimy monstrosity suggested, with an air of greed in his voice that only a truly corrupt sinner can manage.

"So you're paying attention now are you?" Kaede's voice continued from the several blooms growing in the area, still giving no trace of where the voice's owner was residing as the slimy gardener rose up to a hover near the nearest hole in the canopy. The Floare woman could tell, no matter how boastful the intruder was, that her threat had frightened him somewhat as she watched him doing his best to keep his distance from the mysterious flowers.

Kaede's real body shivered, as a mental image of being experimented upon by anyone appeared in her mind, inside her floral home at the tone of the strange alien's next statement but continued the conversation as she told him "Unique? Perhaps. My former homeworld had not even been named at the time I was taken into space by the bipeds in white coats."

At his offer to come to an arrangement, for what she wondered, the Floare woman was wary but still asked "If you want to negotiate with me I would suppose that you want me to come and meet you face to face correct?"

"Well, I suppose it would make things easier..." he said slowly, taking his time to ponder every word they both said, not wanting to risk insulting her, but likewise not wishing to come off weak, or dimwitted.

"My name is Illendos, I'm a newcomer here, I must say I'm surprised to meet a fellow predator first." he continued more swiftly, beginning to plot the course of his side of the negotiations, not knowing anywhere near enough to presume to understand her case.

He slowly hovered lower, until he was gently resting above the ground, chemicals still flooding out of him as he turned the local micro-fauna into his allies, seeking to use their chemical responses as an early warning for any more thorny intrusions.

OOC: I am SO sorry, I had no idea I wouldn't be on for that long. My computers broken.