Hello everyone. This is a copy, of a copy made by Jennifer Chase, then posted on the old message board by SilentNowhere. I found it very useful when I first started on the site and I think it will prove helpful to others as well. I was worried it may get lost in the old board with the transition to the new one. <3 Chris.


Posted by Jennifer Chase:
Hello Fellow Students and Hideous Creepy Monsters!

A few of you have asked me in PM for tips on writing stories here, and although I’m not vain enough (yet anyway) to think I am in any way an expert on storytelling or writing at all, I do want to try and offer you a few tips and pointers on the way I try to write. Before I begin with this really bad little tutorial I want to stress that I am in no way saying that I know any more than anyone here, and there are a lot of you who are a hundred times better and more creative than I’ll ever be, so please don’t think me too egotistical. I just want to try and help those who did ask me to. Remember, I’ve only been doing this for a few weeks, and I never really had any formal training myself beyond my college courses.

The reason I think it is important to write this long column here is because I happen to believe that complaining about stuff you don’t like is counterproductive unless you are willing to offer some ideas for a solution. Odds are that no matter what you do when you play with me I’m going to find something about you that I like because I’m just that sort of positive (okay maybe brain-dead) person, but there’s always room for improvement here.

My tips will take the following format, so that you can skip around in here to parts you might want to read and skim over stuff you already know. I’ve arranged my notes in a chronological order here that hopefully fits the more common formula. I divided them up into four steps…

1. Introduction
2. Tension
3. Sex
4. Conclusion

Posted by Jennifer Chase:

Part One: Introduction

Good stories rarely happen accidentally. Usually if you do not know where you are going with a story you will not get there, or you’ll just do the same thing every time because you are following a script you’ve read several times before anyway. This is not to say that you can be extraordinary and different in every tale you tell of course. There are some things worth repeating because they’re just cool.

During the introduction the first thing to describe is the setting. This is easy since here we have specific forums for just that purpose. What you really need to focus on though, is why you’re there, and what you’re doing at the start of the story.

Students

Adding mundane everyday tasks to what you’re up to is really useful for giving the monster something to react to. If you do it right it can really enhance the first look at your character. If you’re just hanging out in your dorm room for example, then talk about what you’re reading or watching on TV. Maybe it’s something that will give others some ideas as to what makes your character tick! Books and films you like in real life are great for that purpose. If you’re in the shower, describe what you look like a little bit all wet and soapy, and you’ll find that it gets the monster’s attention really well.

The introduction is in a way a kind of anonymous flirtation between you and the creature that is stalking you. Write something that will make you appealing! Try to imagine what you look like in his eyes and point something out that would be either sensual or personal in some way.

Even more personalization is possible if your character has friends she interacts with on campus who can be mentioned briefly, giving you more depth, and also showing those friends that you remember them and your character thinks about them occasionally.

Describe your wardrobe as well here, as it will also add to the mood. Remember to think in colors and textures when describing clothing. Examine the examples below to see what I mean…

Average Introduction: Jennifer sat in her room reading a book and wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt…

Better Introduction: Jennifer was curled up on her couch by the window reading a tattered copy of a bad romance novel she’d borrowed from her girlfriend May. She kept flipping through it looking for the juicy parts which she noticed May had dog-eared when she’d read it before. Her light grey t-shirt fit over her pert breasts a bit snugly and the soft cotton cloth revealed a hint of her nipples through the stretchy material. Her long legs were bare, extending from beneath her comfortable cut-offs with the ragged edges. They were too tight to wear outside in her opinion, but she wasn’t expecting any company today…

So judging from these two examples, which version of me would you rather sneak up on and attack? The first example is accurate, and it says what I am doing and wearing, but it’s a bit on the bland side. The second one on the other hand brings the scene into focus a bit more and points out a couple of worthwhile areas of my figure to the mind’s eye. Also note that I mentioned my girlfriend May in describing the book, and I hinted at her personality a bit as well with the intimation that May might be enjoying sexy scenes in the book just like I am. It’s a little more work of course, but it’s more enticing. Remember girls, we are the starlets and leading ladies here. We should try to advertise how desirable we are!

Monsters

When you start a thread it is important to decide why you are stalking a particular girl. Most of the time you guys seem to just be lurking in the shadows someplace waiting for a student to fall into your lap so you can rape her. That isn’t incredibly creative though, and you can do better if you are willing to think about it for a second. Remember, the girl you’re attacking may be just a toy for your dark pleasure, but there is a reason why you chose her isn’t there? Make us feel important and sexy and you’ll find we tend to play back to you a lot more interestingly.

Try giving us an idea of what turns you on about the victim. Describe what we look like in your eyes and you’ll not only turn us on, but you’ll also set up the reader’s expectations as well! If you don’t know what we’re going to be wearing, then ask us in PM! Some of us will even dress our characters to suit your tastes. I will wear pretty much anything a monster asks me to, and I feel like I’m being a better player by doing so.

Describe yourself a little bit here too, but don’t go overboard as part of being the monster is being mysterious until the initial attack. Just position yourself based on your monster’s abilities and special powers and that should be plenty.

Another important point to consider is whether you’ve attacked the girl before in other threads. I happen to find it especially nice if your monster remembers having ravished me previously. It gives me personally a bit of a thrill to know you haven’t forgotten.

Examine these two paragraphs to see what I mean…

Average Introduction: Vincent looked through the window at Jennifer. She didn’t know he was there yet, but he was planning his attack as she read her book. Soon she would be his again…

Better Introduction: Vincent loped along the rooftops of several campus buildings until he arrived at the window ledge outside of Jennifer’s dorm room. His long sharp talons clicked quietly against the stone ledge as he crouched and peered through her partially opened window. The young brunette was reading intently and had no idea she was being watched, and he smiled as he surveyed her luscious body, remembering how he’d taken her not so long ago in the woods by his waterfall. A thin line of drool ran down from his fanged mouth as he studied his prey. Her firm young breasts stretched her tight grey t-shirt, and her nipples made cute points through the fabric. He’d tasted those breasts before, and he couldn’t wait to do it again. His eyes traveled down to her long smooth legs admiringly, and his penis stiffened against his fur as he remembered the way those legs felt wrapped about his waist as he raped her over and over in his shadowy lair…

Judging from these two examples, you get the same basic information. Where we are, who I am, and that Vincent has raped me previously, but in the second paragraph you get more of a sense of Vincent’s hunger to have me again. You also get a glimpse of Vincent’s monstrous powers and looks as well. There is a deeper sense of history between the monster and the girl he’s stalking.

As you can see, writing a good monster introduction is a bit harder than writing a student’s introduction, but this is largely due to the fact that as a monster you are supernatural and unique. You can do things normal human beings cannot, and your actions in the story need to reflect that fact! Also note that by making his monster focus on things about me that turn him on, the story starts off sexier and had more of a mood to it! If you describe me as someone you’re lusting after I get turned on a lot more than if you just describe me as a cardboard cut-out of any other girl on campus.

While it’s true that from your monster’s point of view I might be just a worthless lump of flesh you’re going to use and throw away, from the reader’s point of view it is better if you have some kind of attraction to me or to my body, because they are going to want some idea of why they should care if I’m getting raped. Worthless lumps of flesh just aren’t too sexy, sorry.

Posted by Jennifer Chase:

Part Two: Tension

Tension is hard to build correctly. Very hard in fact and it’s the thing that most often just gets ignored by both monsters and students here in the rush to get to the sex. If you can’t think of a way to do it then don’t feel bad. Even the best writers get stumped on this one sometimes, but if you’re up to the challenge you’ll find that the overall story is better for the attempt.

Building tension can be done lots of ways and I’m only going to mention a couple of them here. You’ll find that ideas will often come to you from such sources as movies and books most often, but sometimes something from the introduction will bring on a good idea too. Tension is the tease part of the story, and for the most part it works best for the student to build on it, but a few monsters are good at it too. Silentnowhere is a good example of a monster who knows how to play up the tension and I highly recommend you read some of his stuff for real examples, but here are some of my own.

Student Ideas
Have your character do something sexy! It doesn’t have to be overt, just go for sensuality here. Come up with some excuse for why she’s unknowingly turning the monster on if she doesn’t know he is there, or else try some creative dialogue if he’s revealed himself to you.

Here are my examples…

Student Doesn’t Know He’s There #1: Jennifer got to a really good part in her book and read a scene where the hero hissed the heroine, touching her in an intimate fashion as he did so. A small smile formed on her lips as she imagined herself in the part of the heroine, and her hand slipped up to lightly caress her breast through her t-shirt. She breathed deeply as she closed her eyes and traced a slow circle about her nipple. She whets her full lips as though anticipating a kiss, and fantasizes about what it would feel like…

In this example, though the monster probably doesn’t know why I am turned on, he can see me touching myself and licking my lips, which should impress upon him that I’m “in the mood” so to speak. This tactic works even better in a shower scene or anyplace there’s water because water is just a good conductive element for sexuality. Your character doesn’t have to be turned on to be sexy though…

Student Doesn’t Know He’s There #2: Jennifer sighed and put down the book. She was getting sleepy but it wasn’t bedtime yet. Stretching like a cat, she leaned back on the sofa, causing her full breasts to stand out from her chest attractively for a moment before getting up and heading over to her desk…

In that case she just “poses for the camera” and though she didn’t do anything so erotic intentionally, the monster gets a bit of a show to exercise his imagination on while the reader can imagine a sexy girl moving in a way that holds his or her attention for a second. You can also do this by just bending over and letting the monster get a glimpse of your panties. There are other things still that are sexy but not obvious as well, but you need props for them as in my next example…

Student Doesn’t Know He’s There #3: Jennifer put down her book, remembering she is supposed to go over to Kaitlyn’s room later for a study session. Wanting to look good for her friend and lover, Jennifer decided to improve her appearance while she still had time. Padding over to her dresser, she pulled out a bottle of perfume and spritzed some on her slender neck and wrists. She started to put it back, but then smiled as she considered the possibility of a study break with her lover. Feeling wicked; she pulled her shirt up to reveal the full curved globes of her breasts and sprayed some of the perfume there as well…

In this case the monster gets a quick mental image of my breasts, and I capitalized on the sense of smell as well. A lot of writers don’t bother talking about scents in their work because readers cannot actually smell them, but in the mind’s eye a reader can actually associate a scent to the scene if prompted by the writer. Remember that good art is a bit subversive. You’re planting “suggestions” in the reader’s mind, and the reader will fill in the blanks on their own most of the time, making the scene richer in the process!

Okay so those are ideas for tension when your student is unaware of the monster’s presence, but what if he’s already attacked and you know he’s there? You’re not going to be masturbating or putting on perfume in that instance obviously, so you have to get more visceral in your writing. A few good things to remember are that you are probably scared to death and expecting the worst, and you’re probably right in that expectation except of course the monster cannot kill you. Your student doesn’t know she cannot be killed though, and you should keep that in mind. Monsters are horrible and frightening things, so react to that!

Typical reactions to a monster attack are either to run away, fight back, or try to talk your way out of it. Any of these can work within the rules if you do it right, but as Mister Niceman has warned me on more than one occasion, don’t do it too well! The point of the story is you getting caught and put through your paces no matter what, so be sparing in how you use these ideas.

Running Away: The horrible creature crouched on Jennifer’s window sill like a grinning gargoyle. His terrible claws looked like razored knives, and his fangs dripped with saliva. Terrified beyond reason, Jennifer did the only thing that seemed logical, she bolted for the door screaming for help.

In this short example you give the monster the option of catching you right away (I didn’t get out of the room you’ll notice) or of chasing you around the scene for a few posts. Chase scenes can be fun, but don’t run a marathon. Usually go two or three posts before getting cornered and resorting to one of the next two options…

Fighting Back: Jennifer realized she was trapped and there was nowhere left to run. She looked around frantically for something to defend herself as the creature closed in on her. His glowing red eyes were like burning embers in the shadows of the dimly lit hallway. An old broom leaned against the wall nearby. It wasn’t much, but it was long enough to serve the purpose she had in mind. Snatching it up quickly, she waved it in front of her like a spear, ready to poke at his face or mouth if he got close enough…

In this example I’ve decided to fight back. Now my character was created with no combat skills at all because I suck at writing fight scenes. Your character might be a tough girl though so go with what you know. I am using a broom to fight back, but anything you can think of might add to the story in this case.

When you resort to a weapon or martial arts though, remember the rules. Just as the monster cannot kill you, you cannot kill him! You are a sexy little schoolgirl, not Rambo! It’s unlikely your character has a shotgun or a longsword handy when a monster attacks her, and even if you did the school is set up to thwart that kind of defense anyway. The best weapons for fighting back within the rules are those that either break, can be taken away, or just aren’t effective against the creature you’re fighting.

Also, and this is pretty important to remember… DON’T fight too long! The reader is looking at your story for sexy stuff, not fighting techniques, and will stop if you prove too formidable to be believable. You WILL be caught and forced to submit, and if the monster has to pound you senseless to do it then it really stops being erotic for most people who have any taste, and they probably don’t want to see you getting beaten up anyway.

If you decide to try and hurt the monster, i.e. hit him with your attack, don’t do it in such a way that messes up their character or disfigures him. You don’t want your character losing an eye or getting limbs broken, so don’t do it to him either! So instead of fighting you might try my last suggestion…

Talking Your Way Out: Realizing her options were limited, Jennifer backed up against the wall and fought to control her fear. The beast looked at her hungrily, seemingly ready to pounce on her and rip out her throat. Her voice quavered as she pleaded, “L-look… just stay away from me… please! Don’t hurt me… I… I just want to go home… please let me go!”

This is the option I tend to go with the most often. The previous example is poor, but it’s the basic idea. It can be sexy for the girl to beg the monster for mercy I’ve found, and some students with stronger personalities than mine could try threatening the monster or trying to bribe him or something like that. This option requires you to be creative too, as you don’t want to say the same thing over and over, but try to imagine what you would say in that situation. You either think the monster wants to kill you, or you know he is planning to have sex with you and you are not happy about it.

If you are going to beg, then expect to sound weak. I do, and I’m not really that upset about it. I’m empowered in real life so it doesn’t bother me to play a soft and yielding character. If you prefer to be strong then go for it, and expect a few rude and sarcastic responses from the monster in return. It can be kind of unsettling to be called dirty things in a dialogue session sometimes, but remember it’s all a game. Nearly every monster I ever played with has proven to be a very sweet and loving guy in PM so try not to get insulted by what his monster says to you. Fantasy and reality are completely different things. Don’t get mad!

Anyway, those are the three things I think are okay to do to build tension as a student. Remember that tension takes practice, and a little bit goes a long way here.

Monster Ideas

I don’t play monsters so whatever advice I have to offer here should be taken with a grain of salt. I’m about as aggressive as a ground squirrel with a toothache! *giggles* Just the same here are some things that might or might not give you some ideas…

As a monster the best thing you can do it describe what you see the student doing and react to it. She’ll be reacting to you in turn once you actually catch her, so be polite and let her run or fight back a little bit.

If you’re playing a monster that uses seduction and guile as opposed to the snatch and grab variety then you should really love the tension side of things, but a lot of girls don’t know how to react to that, so you need to be patient. Sometimes your victim needs to be reminded in PM that she doesn’t know you are a monster yet.

Disguised Monsters - Making a Sexy Male Description!

In the beginning, if you are disguised, pay some attention to your description as a normal person before you turn into whatever you really are. A lot of men have a tough time with this because they feel strange talking about their bodies, but trust me, we girls DO look!

Focus on your eyes, hair, chest and shoulders for a sexy description of yourself. A woman tends to look at those things pretty intensely. Your hands can be described well here too. Large hands are of course good things not to forget to mention too.

If you have body hair then it’s good to describe how much (lots and thick, or just a sparse covering, maybe with a little “treasure trail” down your abdomen) and what color. Are you tanned or pale and gothic-looking? You needn’t be huge and muscular by the way, some of the hottest-looking men are actually pretty slender, but fit! Don’t automatically start going on about the size of your penis though, that isn’t what we immediately check out despite what some men’s magazines would have you believe! (Okay sometimes, but not all the time *blushes*)

Clothing options are usually dependent on what role you are pretending to be. Remember, there are no guys on the island, so you need a job or an excuse to be visiting to be able to pull this off correctly. Being a “professor” or maybe a scientist from the labs seems safe enough, but you may need to PM Niceman if you are uncertain. I don’t know the monster rules too well so I’ll let you guys work that out on your own…

Straightforward Monsters – What Do You Look Like?

If you are the “grab her and get it on” type then at least provide a couple of lines during the early posts to describe yourself. If you don’t bother to do so then don’t feel offended when I or any other girl gets your description wrong in a reply to your post. I have like 12 threads open right now, and most with different creatures. I won’t remember if your tentacles were blue or green in your profile if you left that out. I’m not the only one who has that many stories going at once so try and be either descriptive, or understanding. PM’ing me and telling me I screwed up is perfectly acceptable, and I’ll usually go fix it for you, but some people might be a bit put off by that if your description was short and empty.

Other Things

Beyond your looks, try to describe the excitement you feel while you’re in the process of capturing the victim. It’s interesting, at least from my point of view to see the wheels turning in your head as you’re getting ready to take me. What are you concentrating on? My scent? The way I move? The shape of my body? The fear in my eyes? The sound of my pleading voice? Pick a feature! As in the introduction, just one appreciative line can make all the difference here between you sounding like a lust crazed villain, or a bored housewife watching a commercial. Also remember, flattery will get you everywhere… hehe…

Part of the charm for a girl playing a rape fantasy is the concept, however contrived it may seem, that her attacker wants her so bad he is willing to do anything to have her! Yes I know, you are an all-powerful monster and we tender young girls are as wheat before your scythe, yada yada… but we are real people behind the characters you are playing, so try to make us feel sexy in some way hmm?

If you are using special powers to subdue a victim, talk about them! Not everyone knows what the heck a pheromone is, so writing that you sprayed pheromones into the room will sometimes leave your more inexperienced victims thinking… “huh?” If you’re going to use such tricks on us and you want us to react to them then at least tell us in some way what you expect to see! Also think in terms of the senses here. Does the gas attack you’re using have an odor? Is your venom green or blue? What does your mind-control serum taste like? Give it some depth! It’s not hard and it will make a big difference for both your victims and their audience!

Okay so there are some suggestions for tension. They are not completely perfect, and I don’t expect you to try and use all of them or even any of them. It’s just my two cents worth.

Posted by Jennifer Chase:
Part Three: Sex

Ah yes, at last you’ve caught me and the time has come to ravish me senseless right? Of course I’d be disappointed if you didn’t at this point so let’s examine a few things about sex scenes that are worth considering.

First and foremost there is the attitude of the scene. Try to be consistent with reality unless for some reason you really want the thread to be a comedy (Which CAN be cool in some cases, such as one of Cangy’s tagging episodes). The most common guilty party in this respect seems to be the student. I expect that’s because you an only type “Oh no please!” so many times before it stops meaning anything to you. I’ve only been doing this for less than a month and already I’m starting to run out of creative and appropriate reactions to being raped by a monster, but good erotica doesn’t come easily (pardon the unintentional pun there) and if you are going to do this then do it right.

Students
When a horrible tentacled monster is raping your brains out please don’t be blasé about it. Okay so maybe you’ve been raped a few times (or hundreds of times in the case of some of the older students) but for the love of god don’t yawn when he’s pounding you with his twelve foot long penis (or whatever he’s using on you). Even though you might not be enjoying it that much because maybe the monster is doing a poor job of things, the rest of the community reads your threads and they could mistake your boredom at that moment for a lack of overall talent or respect for the genre. Always at least try to express yourself in some way.

If you’re a “tough girl” type of character then bite, kick, scratch, swear, and be generally noncompliant about things as you’re getting bent over that chair. Be mad and indignant about your situation and let the monster know it! There is a reason monsters go for tomboy types you know. Play it up and have fun with it.

If, like me, you’re a “girlish” sort of character, then act scared. Beg, plead, and complain about the horrible things he’s doing to your innocent nubile little body. Reveal your inner thoughts about what you’re experiencing. If he is forcing you to have orgasms then seem guilty about it. Again, try to play it up and act like your character logically would.

Never just “relax and take it”. It’s boring and it really defeats the purpose of writing in these forums. Be a good victim. Either be a strong-willed bitch that won’t give in no matter what, or be a sensual flower of innocent getting violated in every way she so desperately wishes she didn’t enjoy, but be your character!

Monsters

You guys are usually pretty good at maintaining attitude because that’s the whole joy of monster-hood really. If there’s one thing that would be useful for you to do, at least in my opinion, it’s that you should be descriptive about what you’re doing to your victims. Try letting us see through your eyes what it feels like to have your penis in the girl’s mouth. I don’t have one, so it’s cool to see what you guys experience! What’s it like to hold your struggling prey down and take her? Be savage and forceful!

Say things that illustrate your monster’s lust or contempt. Write more than one or two lines and don’t expect us to carry the whole sex scene for you. It’s very frustrating to write two paragraphs of story, hoping that what I’ve created affected you, only to see the next post from you read simply, “That’s good keep going…” It just makes me want to quit altogether.

If you don’t have time to concoct a worthwhile response then wait until you do! I’d rather wait a week for an erotic post than ten minutes for a one-liner with no feeling, and I happen to know I am not alone in that opinion. And yes, I know students do that to you as well. I don’t mean to let you feel singled out here, but two wrongs don’t make good literature.

Okay so that’s my take on the actual sex scene. It’s brief because most of the sex is per the preference of the participants as it should be, and no one can tell you what turns you on. One thing I do want to suggest for both students and monsters however is that you ask each other questions in PM. Find out what turns each other on before you waste five posts on an activity neither of you enjoy because you each thought the other player wanted it to happen. It sounds silly but it happens…

Posted by Jennifer Chase:
Part Four: Conclusion

When the last splash of bodily fluids lands, and the monster leaves the student lying there exhausted and softly weeping the time has come for what the pros call the dénouement. That’s a fancy way of saying that you have a quieter moment where loose ends are tied up and in the case of Shokushu at least, everybody turns out okay in the end.

How you handle this isn’t really as important as if you handle it. If you’re tired of the thread and just want it over with then just faint and that’s it, but if you want to continue with the realism and interest I’ve been babbling on about you might try one of these approaches instead.

Students

Anger and Resentment: This one works best for “tough” girls, but little waifs like me might profit from it occasionally too. In this closer, your character watches the monster get away with what he’s done and vows revenge, or otherwise curses him defiantly as he laughs and hops out the window. This is cool because it shows your character’s spirit is unbroken and though she might have been abused and mistreated, she’s going to bounce back and be okay.

Sorrow and Self-loathing: In this ending your character has to accept that she’s nothing more than a helpless victim of a cruel twist of fate. She hates the monster of course, but in her heart of hearts she also hates herself for succumbing to his horrible desires and enjoying it. It’s a realistic ending in some ways, and if done right can win your character sympathy in the heart of the audience by revealing her sensitive and vulnerable side.

Surprise and Desire: This kind of ending only fits if you build up to it in the final few posts of the thread. In this case your character reluctantly realizes that she loved being raped by the creature, though most likely this is a secret she’d rather take to her grave than ever reveal to anyone else. It’s a sexy ending if you can do it right, but don’t overdo it or you’ll find yourself at odds with the rules against romantic interests between monsters and students.

Monsters

What A Worthless Tramp: This ending is the one I see the most of. The monster just leaves the girl lying there covered in sweat and… whatever… and maybe makes a smartass or demeaning remark before skipping merrily away to go rape her friends. Although this ending might sounds really cold and hurtful, it is actually a realistic attitude for a monster to take towards one of his victims. After all if he was capable of feeling more than this he wouldn’t have just raped her after all would he?

She Was A Good Little Slut: In this ending the monster callously pauses to “thank” the victim before departing, maybe even promising a return engagement. It highlights monster’s heartless but not humorless attitude towards his crime, and works well with “tough” girls who can then fire back their own comments, while softer girls just weep softly in disgrace.

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow: This ending, though one of my favorites, is really dangerously close to getting you in trouble with the rules so be careful how you use it. In this ending, the monster actually developed respect and admiration for his toy during the act. It’s unrealistic, but then again so are monsters. Maybe the monster favors his wilted toy with a kiss or some other pseudo-romantic gesture that in his insane mind tells her he enjoyed her “company”. The student should be careful about reciprocating on this one, but it does lighten the encounter up a bit and leave the player of the victim feeling a little more appreciated.

And there you have it. That’s my analysis of what works and why. It’s not complete by any stretch of the imagination, and thank god for that. If I knew everything there would be no point in writing this stuff. I encourage you to post your own ideas here and fill in the blanks that I’ve left uncovered. Maybe a bit on bondage play or torture would be a good follow-up. I know little about those subjects so if you do then please elaborate on the right way to play them. I didn’t touch on girl-girl stories either as I have only participated in a couple of them so far.

In closing, I want to reiterate that everything I mentioned as being wrong with some stories I myself am guilty of. If you read what I write here you’ll see lots of times that I’ve fallen short of my standards, and I know that nobody is perfect. I’m not judging anyone, and I hope you aren’t judging me either. I hope what I wrote here is helpful in some way to a few people, or at least amusing in its naivety. I know I’m not a world class author and I don’t expect to be thought of as such.

Please, if you have some things to add here… teach me…

Love Always,
Jennifer [/b]

Posted by VoidStrider:
Here's something I try to think about whenever I write the erotic horror stuff we're focusing on here. First I think of what disturbs me, stuff that kind of makes me feel a little guilty just having thought of it. Then I think about what turns me on, the whole gamut, what gets me a little buzzed just thinking of it. Then I finally think about where these two intersect, that's where the stuff gets interesting!

Another thing that I try to work into my writing although I have to keep it more simple here is that I try to think not only of the meanings of the words that I use when I describe what's happening but I also think about what a word "feels" like. Think of the differrences between the words slender and skinny. That's a pretty basic example but it's one we all can relate to. when I write I try to keep slang terms to a minimum and if a word doesn't feel right on a poetic level I try to describe it in metaphor and similie. For instance I've had trouble with some of the words for female plumbing on occasion; vagina always seems so clinical and pussy too common although it's great for describing someone being pummeled sexually sensless while soaked with sweat and secretions, really feels wet to me. If the word "yoni" were more well known and had less religious connotations I'd be using it a lot more, has a sort of sweet and almost innocent feel to the sound, but alas, not too many readers of erotica know the sanskrit term.

Oh yeah, something that I find makes my writing live is that I try to describe the more subtle sensations, mental and physical, that come up in the story. Of course once again in this setting I have to try and keep it shorter otherwise I'd be spending way too much time at the keyboard than I should.

Ok, last blurb and I'm out of here, I've found that asking questions can have a much more powerful impact than just stating what's happening. Asking the victim how the slick and supple appendage squirming rhythmically within her, asking her what the smell of its musk makes her feel and asking if the stimulation of the drug secreted by that writhing tentacle reminds her of anything from her adolesence - has a much more direct impact because it requires the reader to participate in the story on an unconscious level. I haven't figured out the best way to impliment this yet in role play but I'm working on it in my other writing and I'll be working on it here too.

Take it easy,
Void

Posted by Jennifer Chase:
To VoidStrider:

You mentioned some extremely good ideas there. First, the choice of the words you use in your writing was something I considered talking about, but I was afraid getting into that territory would be a little too much to tackle or explain. You did a good job, and chose perfect examples. I'lltry and expand on them a bit, but I don't know what I'm doing so if it isn't too good please... just don't hurt me... (whimpers*

Word Choices

I have trouble thinking of a more ladylike term to describe my sexual anatomy. I usually end up saying, "womanhood" or "tender secret"... which, although more tasteful in my mind, does sort of turn my sex scenes into a bit of a Harlequin Romance sounding work. There is a very fine line between writing sexually, and writing vulgarity. There is a place in time though, where your character "lets go" of herself and at that point I think you owe it to yourself as a writer to let go as well.

As my mother was fond of informing me (after my eighteenth birthday), there are places where you should be a lady, and places where you really shouldn’t. Focusing on the semantics of your speech however is what I’d call an advanced technique, so to anyone reading this and actually trying to figure it out, don’t panic! Don’t run out and buy a thesaurus and start trying to replace every other word you write or you’ll never get anything done.

Flavoring your writing (as my English teacher called it) is difficult and takes a lot of practice to get right. When done correctly, as Voidstrider explained, it can make a big difference on what the reader sees in his or her mind’s eye. Certain words are, for lack of a better explanation, “prettier” than others. When you are writing as your character it sometimes helps to say the word aloud and see how it feels on your own tongue to decide if it is something you think he or she would use in conversation. Voidstrider’s example of slender vs. skinny is a great illustration of this. Consider the following examples…

Accurate: Jennifer sat on a little stool on the shower area and ran the razor along her long skinny legs, neatly shaving in preparation for the big dance party later…

Better: Jennifer sat primly on a little stool in the shower area and caressed her slender legs with her razor, fastidiously shaving in preparation for the big dance party later…

In the first example you see what she’s up to and you can get an idea of her actions, but when you read it, don’t you feel like you need to feed her a bit? Skinny and slender both have pretty much the same definitions, but there are subtle connotations between the two words that evoke very different thoughts. Slender is a more sensual word than skinny. Also note that in the second example I exchanged neatly for fastidiously. When you read the same activity you get more of a sense of my character’s focus on her task. Saying she’s doing it neatly isn’t bad, but saying she’s doing it fastidiously reflects that in her mind it is something of a chore but it needs to be done for her to feel right. Both paragraphs are correct, but the second one is a bit more seductive and portrays my character’s “perfectionist” attitude towards her appearance a bit better. All that from just choosing two different words, not too overwhelming hmm?

Tapping Into The Subconscious

As for evoking emotions and feelings with your writing, such as calling up childhood memories, I have a tough time with that one too, and when I get it right I’m usually amazed. Often the things that make us remember stuff from our past experiences are associated with the senses. The human mind has a curious habit of tying things other than sight or sound to the items in our mental inventory. Smells, tastes and tactile sensations are very good triggers for memory tricks because those two sensations are sublimated most of the time.

As human beings, we tend to think consciously with our eyes and ears, but our subconscious collects data through the remaining three senses almost without our knowing it. How many times has your boyfriend or girlfriend hugged you while wearing a certain cologne or perfume that gives you the shivers when you smelled it?

While obviously we are attracted to our lovers, that scent may have tapped into a passionate night you once shared together in your subconscious where he or she was wearing that same scent. Although you might not consciously remember the event itself at that particular moment, your subconscious does! Consequently you may act a bit more… forward… with your lover for the rest of the night because your memory triggered those feelings.

It is, as I said, very hard to do this in your writing, and particularly so in the case of erotic literature. The reason behind this is that you really don’t know what your readers are going to draw from the experience that might relate to their own lives. You need to be careful when trying to get to them through random attacks though, because you could just as easily strike a negative nerve and burn away the sexuality without meaning to. Less is more with these things.

Probably the best place to go with subconscious effects in eroticism is the element of water, or fluidity in general. A lot of people like the idea of making love while partially submerged. There are some good reasons for that. Nearly everyone at some point in time (especially we females) has touched themselves intimately in the shower or bath. It is a trigger that was just made to be exploited when you think about it, because where else can you guarantee your reader has been naked, wet and in the mood before?

*giggles*

When you write a shower scene (which I haven’t yet but hope to someday) you can really pick on things that are “shared experiences” between your character and the reader. The scent of soap (don’t get too specific there if you’re trying to get into the reader’s heads, just say “clean” or “soapy” because men don’t use a lot of scented soaps and you’ll have a lot of male readers), the way the steam feels, pounding water jets… These are all things everyone can relate to because we all bathe! (er… I hope…)

See how this works for you. It’s not going to be terribly effective because you are expecting it, but hopefully you’ll get the idea…

Subconscious Triggers (attempted anyway): Jennifer turned the cool chrome shower handle on and waited for the water to heat up before stepping under the pulsing jet of water. The steady stream buffeted her flesh soothingly as she picked up her small white shower poof and squirted some fragrant soap into it. Squishing it about in her small hands, she proceed to lather her pert young breasts with the white bubbly foam while relishing the warmth of the water cascading down her slender back.
It felt delicious, and made her start thinking of her encounter with May earlier that week at the pool. With a secret little smile her slender fingers glided southwards over her slick skin to delicately trace her feminine secrets with her fingernails. “Oh May… what have you done to me?” Jennifer moaned as the shower spray bloomed into thick steam around her trim figure…

Okay, so as you read that, could you imagine yourself there? Maybe not in her exact position perhaps, as if you’re a male that was a vicarious thrill witnessed at a distance obviously, but as a woman maybe you got a memory of the soap and the way your skin feels when it’s wet. If it didn’t affect you at all then just remember I’m not a professional and in the right hands this stuff works wonderfully to draw the reader into the scene.

*giggles self-consciously*

Working on the subconscious level doesn’t always have to be this overt though. You can achieve similar shared experiences with any common activity. Foods are a good example of this, but anything you know most readers have probably tried at one time or another can serve this purpose. Why bother with this concept you might ask? Simply, it makes your character more believable if your reader can get closer to her in his or her mind and knows what she’s feeling. It’s more intimate. If you can make the reader care about her then the images that follow, where she is terrified and helpless as the horrid monster rapes her mercilessly, becomes much more compelling.

Anyway, thank you Voidstrider!!!

Posted by Niceman:
Since this seems to be tied more to RP writing there is something else to consider. Remember that RP is collaborative writing. You're creating a story with a partner so it's important to have good communication. Not only be conscious of what you write, but also read what the other person is posting. Look for clues as to what they're hoping to achieve. If you don't know, remember there is no shame in asking. Send 'em a PM and find out what they're wanting to do. I've seen more than a few RPs wrecked because each person is trying to do their own thing without regard to the other. Also, if a person feels their writing is not up to the ability of their RP partner, there is no shame at all attached to asking for help. You might talk to your partner, asking how to word a phrase or something, or if you don't want to have them help you, ask someone you respect that isn't connected with the scene.

Another thing to remember at least in this message board format is the RP is not instantaneous. You don't have to post a first draft as quick as possible. Take your time. Rather than give just a one line response, give yourself the chance to think about your post, to develop it. Even in direct RPs like IRC and AIM you can pause to look over your responses before you hit Enter.

Posted by VoidStrider:
The idea of using questions along with the multi-sensory descriptions is just something I've been playing with, it's a simple trick but it works!

Thanks in part (I think) to our schooling, the asking of a simple question causes a reader's subconscious to seek an answer to that question. When you ask what a green bug looks like in language that makes the question sound more visceral your subconscious immediately goes to work trying to fill in the blank screen of your mind with a picture of the answer. A question is a mental vacuum and as everyone knows nature abhors a vacuum so the mind fills it in just as naturally as air into a vacuum packed brick of coffee! It's a way of engaging the reader's imagination without their deliberate decision to do so. My biggest problem is obviously that I don't know when to shut up! So it's one trick I'll be using sparingly LOL.

Here's another thing I just realized, using the present tense is important for establishing a more direct sense for the scene. Saying, "she was trapped by the disgusting thing but soon was experiencing a delight so powerful that no other thought could enter her mind", doesn't have as much of a sense of immediacy as "she is trapped by the disgusting thing but soon will experience a delight so powerful that no other thought will enter her mind."

It's a simple thing to do but it works in a subtle way that adds up when you try to combine it with other techniques.

Posted by Jennifer Chase:
To Voidstrider:

Once more you offer a helpful insight!

Asking the reader questions or deliberately giving partial descriptions to force the reader to use their imaginations is a tactic in use by some of the best authors out there, and it does allow your text to involve the reader’s mind more (I'm sorry I didn’t pick up on this the first time you mentioned it but I was about half asleep in my last response to this thread!) I don’t know if I can illustrate this point very well myself as I don’t use this technique as well as you do Void, but I’ll have a go at it.

Using Partial Descriptions and Leading Questions to Spark the Imagination:

A Detailed Description: Jennifer looked at the horrifying feline monster as it approached her in a crouch. Its body was humanoid for the most part, but it had a long tail similar to that of a lion’s that twitched and whipped about behind it as it prepared to spring. She saw that its lean hairy body rippled with hard muscle and sported irregular spots like that of a leopard. A long shaggy mane of jet black fur flowed around its head, and its mouth was filled with needle-sharp teeth as it snarled at her threateningly. Inch-long claws clicked together in anticipation, but Jennifer knew it didn’t intend to slay her. Perhaps even more horrifying to the young coed was the long hard cock that bobbed beneath its knotted stomach. It was a cock that she knew would soon impale her and rape her until she fainted again, as it had so many times before…

A Partial Description: Jennifer stared at the feral apparition in terror as it crept up on her. The thing seemed to be all hair and fangs, with sharp claws and a predatory leanness about it that bespoke its killing prowess, but she knew it hadn’t come to simply kill her. The stiffness extending threateningly from its crotch revealed its intentions all too well. What would it do to her now that there was nowhere left to run? Would it kill her after it took its fill of her tender body this time?

In the first example you get a very detailed and vivid description of Vincent as he gets ready to catch me and screw me silly again. It covers his looks pretty completely, but it takes a long time to write, and seems almost clinical compared to the second one.

In the second example you still see the essence of Vincent, with the use of words like “feral” and “predatory” you get a feeling for him as a thing of the wilds, plus it mentions his teeth and claws to add to his frightful appearance. It’s like looking at a picture for five seconds, and the putting it away and trying to describe it. You only hit the high points because those are the things that stick out in your mind’s eye. It’s quicker and more artful, but remember that some things really do need a full description. Don’t leave out details if they will matter later in the story!

Also, in the last example I ask the reader some questions and leave it to the reader to decide what the answer should be. Of course we know Vincent ravished me senseless later in the story and that he didn’t kill me because he likes raping me, but my character doesn’t know that, and this gives the reader a sense of her uncertainty and lack of control over her destiny.

Choosing the Perspective and the Tense for your Suspense:

Choosing between present and past tense does intensify or lessen the intensity of a passage; however it is important to do so sparingly, as leaping in and out of these two frames of mind very often can make the reader trip over some concepts. You do this artfully in your own writing, but I would hesitate to recommend this to less experienced writers.

Although you didn’t say this directly, it bears mentioning here. Another thing that’s good to decide in advance is whether to write in first person or third person perspective. Once you start writing in a particular style stick to it or you’ll have problems later on!

First Person Perspective:

First person stories sound like you are relating something that happened to you once to a friend who in this case is the reader. Its tough to do effectively, especially in erotic literature where you are talking about some very extreme situations at times, but it makes the experience feel extremely personal and in some cases can make a serious moment seem more light-hearted and comical.

First Person Perspective: I took Kaitlyn in my arms and kissed her so hard I thought I was going to snap her in two! God she was so beautiful! Everything about her made me just crazy with lust and desire! My tongue explored her mouth as deeply as it would go, and her breasts felt so good against my chest I nearly came just from being so close to her. I knew I’d always be in love with this sweet and delicious little bookworm…

Third Person Perspective:

Third Person is the most often used style in fiction, as it allows the reader to maintain distance from the events he or she is watching, and gives us the “big picture” Unlike first person, where you describe strictly what your character is seeing and experiencing, third person is like a camera filming the event while the narrator comments on the things going on from an outside viewpoint.

Third Person Perspective: Jennifer took Kaitlyn in her arms and kissed her so hard she feared she might break her in half! To Jennifer Kaitlyn was incredibly beautiful. Everything about her made Jennifer crazy with lust and desire. Her tongue explored Kaitlyn’s mouth deeply, and she relished the feeling of her breasts so intensely that she almost peaked for the nearness of Kaitlyn’s body. She knew she would always love her delicious little bookworm…

So you see, one perspective is more personal than the other, but the third person style is more like a story, while the first person style seems like I’m talking to the reader directly. Its all a matter of opinion mind you, and you should try both if you haven’t yet just to see which one you like better. I prefer third person myself, but some of you do very well with the first person perspective. Just don’t change styles in the middle of a story!

Posted by Silentnowhere:
I've decided to share a little something with everyone. I hope it helps some. This isn't anything more than friendly advice, because if what you're currently doing works then it works and you won't have any need to do any different. But this is for those of you that feel that you could do things a little different or those of you that are just starting and aren't quite sure on how you want things work in your posting. Although I'm sure this is common sense to most of you and probably doesn't need to be posted. Here's my personal RP phillosophy, something that I try to use in my posts.

I try to break my post into two parts, reaction and action. I start the posts by reacting to the other players post. Their character does something and so my character will naturally be effected by it. Then my character will have to do something, action. That's pretty simple, right? Well, sometimes it isn't. Sometimes it seems like a good idea to write several actions in one post. It's fine to bunch several small actions together, but it might make things difficult if your character is performing several large actions. Just think about how hard it would be to react to a monster character tearing the student's clothes off, restraining her arms, pinning her down to a desk, groping her and spreading her legs, all in a single post. I know that the passion of the moment that you're writing about might push you into writing and writing and writing, but too many actions like that could make it harder for the other player to write the responce that your post deserves. She'd have to describe the effect her loss of clothing has, her struggling against the monsters attempts to hold her down, the feelings the groping brings up and her struggle to keep her legs closed. Plus since you've already written so many events it may limit what the student can do, after she's had her clothes torn off she can't do much to cover herself since she's already pinned down. The student may just forget about most of those actions and just respond to the last one that was posted, skipping over most of what the monster has just done.
I'm not focusing this towards monsters, it's just that I only RP a monster here and so it's just easier to focus on that character type in my example. What I'm talking about works just as well with student characters as well.
So by just putting in one or two big actions in a post the other player can give each of them the attention that they deserve. They'll be able to explore how these things effect their character. It may take some extra time but I think that this little bit of depth is worth it.
I really like RP's, both here and on other MB's that I visit, where I can get a good back and forth rhythm with the other player or players. It gives everyone involved the chance to give and get the attention the the writing deserves and it tends to leave room for everyone to be as creative as they need to be in their posts.

I'm sure most of you already do this or have worked out another system that works just as well, but I hope this was helpful to someone in some small way.

Thank you for your time.

Posted By Niceman:

In response to Silentnowhere:

Excellent point, and it touches on something else. If you notice, that's at the core of God-moding. Hitting a RP partner with a barrage of big actions that doesn't give them a chance to react to more than a base few of them. RP is a two-way street so this is something to be most conscious of.

Having said that there are always exceptions to a rule. There might be logical instances where several big actions could happen, but when they do the reasoning behind it needs to be explained. For example. Expanding on what was said:

"Just think about how hard it would be to react to a monster character tearing the student's clothes off, restraining her arms, pinning her down to a desk, groping her and spreading her legs, all in a single post."

In the proper situation it might be explained like this:

"The monster's tentacles poured onto the hapless girl...a dozen squirming members acting in concert. The lovely student was caught in a serpentine gang-rape. As thick tentacles stretched her arms and legs wide, they pushed her down onto a desk where waiting members wrapped tightly around her holding her fast. At the same time the remainder of the lewd tendrils began seeking out her womanly curves, tearing away her clothing in the process."

Effectively for that brief instance sets of tentacles became autonomous, so in a sense even though the actions were in one post, they were being performed by different 'characters'. Not all monsters have this much control with their tentacles, and some monsters don't have tentacles at all, but you can see what I'm getting at. The key is it making sense. Only club major actions together for specific reasons. If you're not sure, don't do it. Also remember that in RP you're not writing alone. You do have a collaborator in your RP partner. Before you post it, if you're not sure, send them a PM and ask. There's no shame in that, and it will help you learn what works and what doesn't.

Posted by Dendrite:

This whole thread is awesome. I love the near-encylopedic way Jennifer went through and analyzed the beginning, middle and end of a scene. Great job!

I also have my own tip. I don't think I saw it in the thread earlier...This one is so simple you all probably know it, but I think it bears repeating. This is the kind of thing that ANYONE doing ANY kind of writing needs to know. In a word: Edit!

The process is simple...

1) Do your writing in a text editor, like Notepad.
2) Save it to a file.
3) Do something else for a while. Maybe an hour, maybe just a couple of minutes, however long you can make yourself wait.
4) Go back and read over what you've written. The best way to do this is to just read it from beginning to end, carefully, as though you were seeing it for the first time. (If you can get over your self-consciousness, read it aloud!)

The amazing thing is that you'll find all sorts of places where your writing can be improved. Spelling and grammar errors, sure, but also places which are just awkward, or where another word might be better, or where similar words get repeated too close together.

5) After you've done all your improvements, you can either go back to step 3...Or if you're satisfied, NOW you copy-paste your work into the message board post (or wherever).

This also has the benefit of keeping your work on your own hard drive, so that it doesn't just up and vanish if something happens to the board. (That's happened to me, at least once. Not THIS board, of course, but...)

Posted By Niceman:

Having just finished a lengthy project, that being part 6 of my Retribution story series, I thought I'd share a few things I discovered along the way.

The main thing above all is keep your momentum going as a writer. It took me years to write this, simply because there were long gaps filled with stalls and stagnation. For these I humbly apologize to those who had been waiting for me to finish... fans and such who would periodically ask about it. Such inspiration from others is priceless, and I will touch on that later, but I'm sorry I didn't make use of it as much as I should have. Another thing which is difficult to say, is I based one of the characters of the story on a good friend of mine, and recently she passed away. I had finished the part of the story she is in years ago and while she did read it and loved it (and knew I was putting her in beforehand), it was my laziness that kept her from seeing the whole thing while she was here. I know that no one can predict such things in life, but still it's hard to take.

So, since you never know what the future holds, don't get bogged down. I sincerely apologize for getting all heavy and such....I guess I just sort of needed to air out where I was at in this. Forgive me and I'll give you something useful now.

One of the problems (and sometimes excuses for being lazy) I had was the level of interest and where I was putting my energies. When you're doing something all the time you don't feel like doing more of it. Ironically that became true with this place. After taking care of the board and RPs....dealing with pages of tentacle rapes, I didn't always feel like inventing more of it by working on my story. I found I could work on areas that didn't have to do with the actual attack scenes.... character development and settings and such, but for the longest time I just didn't have the drive to work on the rest. That seemed to affect things here as well, and for that , again I apologize. It does reveal a bit of dichotomy of which as writers you need to be aware: To keep momentum, you need to take a break now and again. Not the months and months I stupidly did, but if you need to back off for a short time, then do so...get your interests recharged by letting them be for a bit. I've found there are still instances where you can be working on your story as I mentioned a moment ago, doing the bits that you aren't bored with, while giving yourself time to let the excitement come back to you.

Granted smaller works you'll have your momentum and be able to keep things going fairly easy. My newest Retribution story is nearly fifty pages long, so it's big enough that every now and again I found the need to be inspired. I've found there are three good ways to get inspiration.

1) Seek out other people.

It humbles me to think of it, but I seem to have fans of my work. Every now and again I'll get emails from people telling me that they enjoy my writing and ask when I'll be finished with something new. That does tend to charge a body up and I found I'd write a little more when I would hear from people. I realize that not everyone writing a story is as fortunate, and I myself can't figure out why people like my stuff . However, you can seek out your own fans to a certain extent. Ask someone to read what you've written and tell you what they think. Consider the problems they find and fix what needs to be, but concentrate on what they like. Don't write just to please people, you'll never succeed, but take the knowledge that they do like what you're doing as fuel to write more. This will also help for RPs to an extent as sharing your work will help you figure out what works and what doesn't.

2) A picture is worth a thousand words.

In other words, from time to time look to another type of creativity, yours or someone else's, to recharge your writing. When I was bogged down and uninspired in a scene I'd search for pictures that reflected what I wanted to have happen. Sometimes it was just simply looking at pictures to get a grasp on how I wanted a certain character to look, to help get an image of them in my head, other times it was for helping to visualize the setting. What sort of things would you find in a dark alley, for example...how would the lighting fall, and more importantly, what sort of emotions are evoked by looking at it. When you write something descriptive, it should be able to make the reader feel the same or more, than if they were seeing it themselves. Finding pictures that are similar to what you're wanting to capture can help inspire. For those of you who can draw or paint or other such forms of art, there were some instances when I wanted an exact inspiration, so I would make a picture myself. Creating a picture of a scene I was slow on would stir up my thoughts about it, make me think about it from different angles and such, and I would get new ideas from exploring how things look. Besides still pictures, several movies proved to be good inspiration, and not all of them adult titles

3) Enjoy yourself.

Now, I'm not talking about some sort of lewd self-gratification, but if that works for you, knock yourself out I'm talking about your own writing. If you didn't like what you wrote, you wouldn't have written it. Sit down and read what you have written for the simple enjoyment of it. At the risk of stroking my own ego, I'll be the first to admit that I like what I've written. There's always room for improvement and there are spots I could do better, but I can read a story of mine and draw from it the same emotions and an interests, and yes... arousal, I wish for my readers. Sometimes it's useful when you're stalled to go back and read what you have done for the pleasure of it. Odds are you will gain excitement from it, as you know what will be happening in the rest of the story, or if you don't, reading it may give you thoughts on how to proceed.



Looking back at what I just wrote and noticing that rambles a bit I can also add 'be coherant' Anyway, I hope you can gleen something useful out of the confusion and I hope I've shared some ways you can keep yourself writing, and enjoying it at the same time

Thanks this is what i could use in some of my table top RPs to spice thing up!
like Why do Dragons need pretty little sacrificial virgins?