Shokushu High School
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The King in Yellow
http://shokushu.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=9518
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Author:  VinylScratch9 [ Thu Mar 03, 2016 8:50 pm ]
Post subject:  The King in Yellow

Name: Hastur

Titles:
The King in Yellow, The Unspeakable One

Gender: Male

Age: Irrelevant

Species: Great Old One

Abilities: Can manipulate, see through and move through time to a limited degree.

Place of Origin: Hastur comes from the end of all things, the edge of the universe.

Physical appearance:
From a distance, Hastur would simply appear to be a rather tall man in a gaudy robe. But once you get closer the inhuman aspects become more and more clear. His lack of arms can be shrugged off with the idea that they're just underneath the Yellow robe. The completely unmoving body will likely unnerve many. The thick limbs waving to and fro that come into view will likely be the point that most understand the truth, this creature is most certainly not human.
Image

Allegiance: Yog Sothoth

Personality: A calm and collected being of great intellect and power. A scholar beyond all and well spoken being. This all disappears when he visits the school. He suddenly gains an undeniable urge to grab the nearest human females and fill their various orifices with his long limbs. He keeps all of his abilities with manipulation and can focus himself well enough to make the urge enjoyable to work with instead of picking up every human he comes across.

Strengths: Hastur is an eternally ancient being who has seen countless civilisations rise and fall (and caused some of them to rise and fall) time and again. He has learned much from each dead race and every destroyed species. Due to his Master's nature, Hastur may interact physically with normally intangible objects or beings.

Weakness: Hastur is highly arrogant and sure of himself. Although extremely difficult to stop he can be beaten with the correct objects and correct rituals. Beyond this if a fight goes on for so long that it becomes boring, Hastur will declare his opponent the winner and find something else to do.

Author:  Dendrite [ Thu Mar 03, 2016 9:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The King in Yellow

Welcome! Well, let's see. You have the basics down, though there isn't much detail. The whole description is kind of vague, like, "He can change his shape, just look at the picture". It's not WRONG, as such, but...Well, just remember: Your profile serves two purposes. First, it's to "advertise" yourself, get other roleplayers interested in playing with you. Second, it's a reference sheet, so someone involved in a roleplay with you can go back and say "Wait, what can this monster do, again?" and easily find that information.

The other notable thing about this profile is that the monster isn't original. Given the nature of the "Cthulhu Mythos", all the authors involved in it have traditionally been very open about sharing ideas; therefore, I don't think there's any question of copyright. Still, a monster which isn't original somehow isn't as...exciting? Maybe another mod can offer an opinion.

Author:  VinylScratch9 [ Thu Mar 03, 2016 9:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The King in Yellow

Dendrite wrote:
Welcome! Well, let's see. You have the basics down, though there isn't much detail. The whole description is kind of vague, like, "He can change his shape, just look at the picture". It's not WRONG, as such, but...Well, just remember: Your profile serves two purposes. First, it's to "advertise" yourself, get other roleplayers interested in playing with you. Second, it's a reference sheet, so someone involved in a roleplay with you can go back and say "Wait, what can this monster do, again?" and easily find that information.

The other notable thing about this profile is that the monster isn't original. Given the nature of the "Cthulhu Mythos", all the authors involved in it have traditionally been very open about sharing ideas; therefore, I don't think there's any question of copyright. Still, a monster which isn't original somehow isn't as...exciting? Maybe another mod can offer an opinion.



I will openly admit that I'm highly unoriginal. My ideas are tried, tested, old and probably already dying. I lack a great deal of the mental aptitude required to ever come up with something entirely my own. I can however use established things to my advantage.

I can and have made this character work quite well for me in a few different scenarios.

It is EMBARRASSINGLY vague, I know, and I will sort that out. This is just so it's there right now and I can add more when creative juices flow more freely.

I am considering giving his other forms personalities of their own. This is so I can have a variety of Persona's to choose from instead of just going "he looks like this and acts like blah blah" and just make it all up. Obviously that would take a bit of time though. Going through all the various stereotypes and fleshing them all out to a degree is time consuming and takes a better mood than what I am in right now.

Sadly I've never been good at advertising myself :( tragic really. I can write perfectly adequately but I've always found that just putting myself out there to be challenging.

Thank you though. I appreciate the advice and will try my best to look less half arsed.

Author:  Belzel [ Thu Mar 03, 2016 11:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The King in Yellow

OH!!! LOOKIE! A YELLOW BED SHEET SQUID MAN!!!!!! OH!!! ITS A MUMMY OCTOPUS! -poke- -poke- I just love calamumrri! (Calamari and Mummy put together.) And I like your pretty necklace and your long black creepy tentacles ment to punish lonely victims! However I agree with Dendrite the creature is rather played out and might not be as exciting for some of your many victims!....-nods- HOWEVER! that doesnt mean you can build off this and be even BETTER! I gathered my ideas for my own reality shaping insanity from a similar source A.k.A Eldrazi from the magic the gathering series and one of my favorite villains Mr Cyper :p Just have fun with a concept and slowly work with it :p

Author:  Madison [ Fri Mar 04, 2016 1:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The King in Yellow

Hmm. I may have to check with the head man on this one.

Author:  Dendrite [ Sat Mar 05, 2016 12:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The King in Yellow

VinylScratch9 wrote:
I will openly admit that I'm highly unoriginal. My ideas are tried, tested, old and probably already dying. I lack a great deal of the mental aptitude required to ever come up with something entirely my own. I can however use established things to my advantage.

I can and have made this character work quite well for me in a few different scenarios.

It is EMBARRASSINGLY vague, I know, and I will sort that out. This is just so it's there right now and I can add more when creative juices flow more freely.

I am considering giving his other forms personalities of their own. This is so I can have a variety of Persona's to choose from instead of just going "he looks like this and acts like blah blah" and just make it all up. Obviously that would take a bit of time though. Going through all the various stereotypes and fleshing them all out to a degree is time consuming and takes a better mood than what I am in right now.

Sadly I've never been good at advertising myself :( tragic really. I can write perfectly adequately but I've always found that just putting myself out there to be challenging.


All right, well. A famous author once had some very wise words to say:

Image

Take your time, you can always come back and edit your profile. If you put time and effort into it, then people will probably notice that, and they'll be more inclined to roleplay with you. That's my theory, anyway. ;)

There's certainly no shame in being inspired by existing works. It's probably impossible not to be. I think if you make the character your own, people are more likely to be interested. You can certainly have your character be a force of nature/dark god if you like, maybe just give him a new name, come up with more details...It can be an ongoing process. All you have to do is just not immediately give up. ;)

Author:  Madison [ Mon Mar 14, 2016 7:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The King in Yellow

After review, I'm afraid this character is not approved, as it is far too close to the original work.

Author:  VinylScratch9 [ Fri Mar 18, 2016 4:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The King in Yellow

Madison wrote:
After review, I'm afraid this character is not approved, as it is far too close to the original work.


Then... It must be destroyed! (Makes a Darth Sidious face)

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