Saira squeezed the hand given, maybe just out of trying to feel comforted and supported. But her frown hadn't gone away. "...Thank you. We... don't even know each other, but for you to be happy that I'm back, even if it was just because you got curious and then found out about me for that reason? It still means a lot to me." For a second, Saira loosened the grip on Pia's hand, since she knew the girl was uncomfortable with being too close - the tentative motions, slowness... that had given her the idea of that. But even so? She didn't want to let go, either. Saira still wanted to be at least a little close. "The problem's pretty intractable, isn't it? Gordian Knot... and us, without a sword. Forced to be weak - I remember reading something about 'suppression' or 'inhibitors' or something, but I can't quite figure out what that means or, for that matter, how it works. But whatever it does, it makes us unable to fight back physically worth talking about. And then the monsters have psychic powers and drugs and even use magic - all things normal humans like us can't even touch on, especially stuck here in this place. It's like the knot is just as complicated, made of steel cabling, we're asked to untie it, and the only thing we could use to cheat at it is a dull butter knife."

Saira let out a heavy sigh. She looked more emotionally exhausted now, than sad. "In all the months I had to actually learn things, I almost get the feeling that the only ways safely out are by a sympathetic monster, or by selling yourself to the administration to get 'promoted'. Even before I disappeared, I had heard of those people." Saira was, of course, referring to the Head Girls. Of course, not all of them were bad either - After all, she had had a kind of relationship with Linnis, who had been made one some time shortly before the disappearance. Though Pia, naturally, had her own histories...

Nodding, Pia heard what Saira had to say. Pia was amazed at how much she knew, and largely, it corresponded to her own thoughts.

Pia let out a long sigh. She looked at Saira with a kind of tired half smile. Not an expression of mirth, but perhaps akin to melancholy, or a tired acceptance of thought she had mulled over in her own head a thousand times.

"What you say fits with what I have learned myself. The bitter thing is that of the options you mention, cutting a deal with a monster seems the most likely, not that it is likely to work."

She paused a bit. "I know there are those amongst us who have gifts. And I know about the inhibitors." Pia did not mention that she herself had a little of these talents, underdeveloped as they where.
" I.. I don't know much about the administration. Maybe the sashes.. uh.. the head girls and the prefects have some sort of deal. I don't know about that. I don't even know if the powers that be would honor such a deal." At this she looked at Saira. Maybe she knew more that Pia did not. "But.. for me at least.. that is not an option."

Pia did not mean to continue, but the words just came out of her. "One of the worst, maybe the worst, of the.. the.." Pia seemed to almost loose the word. "The rapes. It was not a monster. It was a head girl. And later, a prefect, that did not go so bad.. but she showed me a room.. I think it was for more.. intimate punishments. With a camera. I just cannot be part of that, I know."

"Ah." Saira said flatly, at the revelations about Pia's own side of matters. So they were on the same page... almost. But she needed to comfort her first. The heart, the heart was the most important place to start. That was an absolute. So her voice gained as sympathetic a tone as she could imagine. "I'm sorry. I... really didn't know. I heard some of them are cruel, others... had their hands forced. I don't even know if these two are still around, but Shai Tanaka, and Linnis Van Ryan - I've met both, and they showed an interest in me. The first seemed nice enough, but the second was... very kind. Loving, even. I know neither of them would've wanted to do that to you, but... there are those who probably would. That isn't..." A slight sniffle, but only a slight one. She was trying to protect Pia, not ask to be protected! "...That isn't forgivable."

Saira looked off into the distance for a moment, gathering her thoughts. She had something else on her mind, and when her eyes locked back onto Pia's, it was a look of wearied curiosity on them. Maybe that's what the desperate search for truth looks like? "But I have a question. You said there were those amongst us with gifts. You mean to say that supernatural powers like magic... are within human reach? That we even already know them? I know they'd be weakened too, but I... I want to know more. Even if only for psychological reasons. You know? Feel like you're doing something about it so you don't break from the strain. Could I possibly learn more? How much do you even know? I... I don't want to feel like I'm imposing, but... surely you can understand how I feel about that."

She certainly did have an earnestly pleading look on her face. Saira seemed to have made what was previously 'it might look like a desperate search', into true desperate wanting for something. A pitifully-pouty lip was involved.

"Yes.." Pia said. She was not sure how much she ought to say, but she felt she had to give Saira something. There was something in her eyes, something in her face.. Pia felt she had to give Saira some hope. She herself had little, but there was glimmers.

"There are a few people with gifts here.. I.. I don't understand it, but there are some who can do things I cannot explain by science. Maybe there have always been so, maybe being exposed to all the mental tricks they have triggers something in some.. Maybe that is why they put up the dampeners? I don't know.."

Pia hoped she had not said too much. She had tried keeping her own experiments secret as well as she was able, but she thought she could say so much.

She glanced around the room, at the little figurines, small artefacts and such on the shelves. Some Pia recognized, some she did not.
"Are you..", Pia looked a bit awkward, eyes suddenly down on her own feet. Asking about such things seemed almost intimate to her, for some reason. "Have you.. are you experimenting with such things yourself? You don't have to say if it is secret!"

The last bit she added hurriedly.

Saira paused at the ending question for a good long time. She... honestly didn't know how to react to it - which didn't quite make internal sense to her because she knew the answer. Yet something about it... Mm. Either way, Saira's face showed her confusion and uncertainty. "I'm not. I'm... mostly mundane? I think. I feel somehow different, but I haven't actually exhibited any special powers, despite that one monster I met before the gap saying something about his... 'node' potentially giving me psychic powers. But I..."

The girl's face shifted a little, trying to bring out that glimmer of hope. "I want to learn, if possible. Like I said, even if those... dampeners or whatever make it impossible to beat a monster, I'd still want to know, because it'd make me happier. And while I certainly know nothing about the real thing?" A soft smile from Saira, as she began to retreat into more comfortable ground - education and knowledge. "My major, anthropology, actually includes the study of magical traditions. Folk beliefs that don't really qualify as a tradition, Judeo-Christian magic dealing with angels and demons and the like, Taoist alchemy and elemental sorcery, Japanese onmyoudo, quite a handful of shamanic practices from the Pacific Isles... I could go on and on, really. Again, it's just to examine the implications of those systems in their culture, but if magic is real, and remotely resembles old traditions, it'd mean a tremendous leap in understanding for me."

But then, Saira let out a deep sigh, looking about the room, as if evaluating those same items that Pia had. Many of the artifacts were actually very simple - wooden statuettes from island communities, various Mediterranean pottery shards, that kind of thing. The archaeological equivalent of cheap knick-knacks. There was one last pause, though, before Saira added a more disappointed note. "I guess if it's supposed to be secret to most people, I should just accept that they might not trust me with the knowledge."

As Saira mentioned her studies and the various magical and mystic traditions she was knowledgeable about, Pia found herself smiling and nodding. This was familiar ground for her. She had thoroughly trawled the library for any occult literature (and tried getting her hand on some not in the library..).

"OH! I am so hoping to take those classes on Taoist Thought and practise next year!", Pia beamed. "I could not fit them in with my other classes this year, alas. They say Professor Tan is really good."

"My field is history, but I am branching out into religion, mythology and magical traditions whenever able. I even think we share a couple of classes.." With Pia not mingling with the other students much, and Saira just returned from where she had been, it was no wonder if they had not met before.

Saira's mention of psychic abilities made Pia think. "I don't trust the monsters, mostly. But sometimes, they will speak the truth, if it fits them. It might be worth trying to find out. I have experimented a little myself.. If I can help, I will try. Did this creature say something about what a.. err.. node potential is?"

Saira smiled gently throughout the talk about classes and meeting again and so on. It was a simple enough gesture, appearing much like she were reminiscing about something fondly. Otherwise, she remained quiet, at least until Pia finished her current list of things to say. And then... "Well, I'll be sure to try to meet you again in some classes. But... er. About that node thing." Naturally, she seemed a little hesitant to respond, but it was just nerves. Right? "I was just told that he had implanted something that he called a node, and that while normally it could be used to track me, apparently? He just gave a brief side-note that it might give me psychic powers as a side-effect. I don't know if you met him before, but he's... like, this big rubbery octopus-faced-man with very excessive psychic powers? I never caught his name though."

Saira didn't know that, in actuality, Pia had at least once. Or that his name was Aegir. But... she did continue. She felt she had to. Not the least because Pia had offered to help. Did... did that mean Pia actually had powers too, and had just avoided mentioning it out of fear?... Hm. That'd be something she'd have to just leave be for now. "But I don't even know where to start, or if I still have it, or what those powers would even be. But if you actually know how to help me try? I'd love to have that help. Even if I don't know what my own abilities could be - if it even works that way of everyone having their own unique 'potential' - but I could learn that of others if you... know of it."

Pia's brows moved, arches curling towards the middle. The blonde girl now looked quite thoughtful. She was not quite sure how much she could reveal about magic and the pursuit of mystic powers. Kanoe would probably be able to figure this out in short time. But Pia was not sure her mentor would approve of being pimped away.

"An octopus man.. rubbery.. with mental powers.. Yeah.. I know him. He's name is Aegir.. He gave name to the Norse giant, I think he said. Uh.. I think I could find him and ask.. but I would rather find another way first, if you understand what I mean.."

"I am sorry to be so coy about this, it is that just that thing about powers is kind of something I am not used to discussing. I mean.. the powers that be have put up dampeners and all, so I guess they might doe even more to restrain powers if a student should become too successful. So I am used to being secretive. Not that I think you are a spy or something! But..uh. don't mention this to a sash or something.."
Pia smiled apologetically.

"I have tried a little. In the beginning I was concentrating on learning about demons and such, since they were the most similar to the creatures here. Then I tried experimenting a little on my own, and with the help of others. I.. I do have some powers.. but they are kind of latent. I kind of suck at actually doing stuff.. and what I can do is kind of.. personal."

By now, Pia was intently studying both their feet, and her cheeks were firmly into the red part of the visible spectrum. Her talent as a voluptarius, a pleasure mage. That meant her powers, meagre as they were, where especially potent in the bedroom.

Saira smiled that same contented smile again. Though this time, she had a more... knowing cast to it. "With how you were talking, I actually suspected you might have had some. But it'd have been rude to say something before you yourself did." Nonetheless, the knowing-ey part of her smile faded into just regular mirth, and she even leaned a bit closer to Pia. Her voice was warm and gentle. "Personal... I can imagine what you might mean by that. I... I wouldn't tell someone about it, and you don't have to do those things if you don't want to. We certainly know what it means to be 'forced', and it's nothing I want to do to you. If there were basics you were more comfortable with, I'd be fine with that. If you were okay with all of it, I'd be fine with that too."

Even just saying that made Saira herself blush brightly, though without the fidgeting or similar gestures Pia was making. "But I can understand that. Don't worry, okay? I like to think I'm gentle, understanding, and nice." ...Though her face darkened a bit... "Excellent victim material, I guess. But it does mean I'm not interested in hurting people."

A shade of worry entered Pia's eyes as Saira's face darkened. There was a touch of aggression there, perhaps not unlike feelings Pia herself harboured from time to time. There had been times where she longed to be someone stronger, tougher, someone who the monsters shied away from.. someone who could give a prefect or a head girl, or better yet, the ones behind all this, a taste of their own medicine. Not likely to happen, she knew. And possibly dangerous to try. And besides.. Pia just was not a naturally aggressive person. There were few people Pia really wanted to hurt, at least most of the time..

But she was not quite sure exactly what Saira spoke of. Did this mean she thought the powers she had where offensive? Or that she wanted to develop such powers.
"I know little of offensive powers..", she said.

Saira stared at what Pia said with absolute confusion. She... she thought she had guessed it right. That Pia was embarrassed because of the more... okay, the more sexual nature of her magic. The girl looked pretty shy. But what did Pia think she said that made her think of that? What could she... The confusion narrowed into a more analytical gaze. Wait. Maybe it's... Oh crap, it is. That was a poor decision, to suddenly get all serious like that.

"Er... no, no, that's not what I meant. You're embarrassed because your powers are... you know, they're..." Damnit, now she was embarrassed! Fidget, fidget. Eventually, fidgeting with her hands turned into just suddenly twitching violently, as if 'snapping'. "Sexual in nature so you're embarrassed because you look pretty shy and probably have learnt how all the girls here are with sex and then the monsters so you're a bit insecure about it which is understandable I should know because I have my own issues about that though I think they're different in nature but I did mean what I said that I'm more victim-like and even if I get frustrated at it sometimes it's just part of my nature and I was just venting the helplessness I felt in anger and I didn't... really..." Saira took a very long breath. And looked pre~tty awkward. "...Mean to sound like I wanted a violent solution or anything. I just thought that if I demanded you teach me, with how embarrassed you are, it'd feel like I was raping you. I'd have wanted you to want to teach me, not just feel obligated to."

It's worth noting that at this point, Saira wasn't just blushing, but her eyes were wide and lips, quivery - that sort of 'oh god what did I do' look of almost breaking, combined with liberal amounts of, well, embarrassment.

"Uh..no.. I mean.. I.. sorry.."
Pia's voice was very small, and she was looking down, feeling ashamed. She had misunderstood, and messed up everything. She rememberer now why she tended to be a recluse. She just wasn't that good with people.

"Yeah.. I guess I understand.", she finally said. "It hurts. Knowing that we get to pay the price. There is no one to help us. They think we are expendables, to be traded away by the people running this place. Our loved ones.. those we will leave behind.. my parents.. They will not even know. And those who sent us here.. Do they even feel guilty? I do not think so.. Sometimes, I wish I could at least take some of them down with me."

As she said it, she still looked small. Vulnerable. Was that a tiny tear she blinked away? As she continued, she did seem to gain a little strength, though. A touch of anger, but not a burning one, rather a cold one, contained, but still there. "But if there is one way to survive this.. Or help someone else do so.. I will. Short of betraying another victim, becoming like a sash, I will do anything to do so. If there is just a glimmer of hope, I will pursue it. When that head girl did what she did to me, another girl tried to report her for abuse of powers. The head girl broke her ribs and made her sleep naked on the hard floor. I hated her, but she is just one glorified prison snitch. Not worth the effort."

Pia's anger seemed to disappear as suddenly as it appeared. Her voice dropped, almost becoming a whisper.
"If I.. or one of my friends get to be free again, that will be my revenge."

Saira had calmed down, thankfully, from the overly-worried look she had shown mere seconds before. But what Pia said... it still made the darker-skinned girl sit there with a bit of a blank stare. She stayed like that even about half a minute after Pia finished talking. Just staring. Tense. Tensed as if under great strain, or preparing to do something that needed a lot of energy. "Pia..." Soft, heartfelt. A bit sad-sounding, too. Yet...

...After she said that, Saira moved forward to hug the other girl. She just leaned forward, wrapped her arms around her, and squeezed tight. No more words. No sounds but the labored breaths of someone who was sharing another's pain.

Hugging back, Pia strangled a little sniffle. She was getting a bit too emotional there. Most of the time, she kept it pent up. No use rocking the boat. She had on a couple of occasions been so down, so miserable, she honestly did not think she would survive it. She kept herself focused, trying to be optimistic, just so she would not drown in all her fears. Keep going, do not attract attention.. Open resistance, or even just blowing off steam was not permitted. Always be on guard..

Yet.. She was not a machine. Neither was Saira.

So she hugged the girl close, wrapped her in her arms, and stroked her hair. What had really happened to Saira? What horrors had she endured, now forgotten?

"Sorry.. I kind of got.. Carried away..", she murmured. Softly, she continued "..if I can help you, I will.."

She would need far more than her own self, to remember what had been forgotten, sadly. Saira's horrors would, in some large part, continue to be unknown. But... right now none of that mattered. Right now she was helping to comfort someone who had also hurt, and who might be able to help her... somehow. Saira wasn't even entirely sure how, she just knew that the capability was there.

"It's okay. It's... okay. I'm sorry for bringing up those feelings in you." After she said that, Saira moved her head back a little, just enough so that she could look Pia in the eyes... and smile. "Maybe you can teach me what you know? I'm... I'm willing to learn and be patient for you. But only if you're okay with it. While I want to know, I also want to make sure you stay happy too - I won't try to force you to do anything. If you want, you could relax knowing that you'll be the one in charge because you'll be the teacher, huh?"