Tell your Blond(e) Jokes Here!
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ST
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 12:31 am Posts: 7
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Here's one related to Shokushu.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
As many as it takes to satisfy the monster.
_________________ http://shokushu.com/shsboard/viewtopic.php?t=135 Cryios's Bio.
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Fri Jul 27, 2007 2:43 pm |
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Emily
Joined: Wed May 02, 2007 9:14 pm Posts: 947
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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead stop at a gas station on their way across state to use thie facilities. Upon asking for the key to the restroom, the man working there said "Be careful, the mirror in there is magical. If you look into it ant tell the truth you get one million dollars, but if you look into it and lie, you will get sucked in and trapped forever."
The three ladies go in one at a time. First the redhead goes in, looks in the mirror and says, "I think I'm the smartest woman in the world." One million dollars pops out of the mirror. Then the brunette walks in, looks in the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." One million dollars pops out of the mirror. Finally the blonde walks in, looks in the mirror and says, "I think-"
She gets sucked in.
_________________ My Bio My Diary
I love being cute!
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Wed Aug 15, 2007 4:49 pm |
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The Count Alucard
Joined: Wed May 02, 2007 10:24 pm Posts: 2619 Location: In the imagination of an otherwise boring guy...
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Heard a variation of that before, definitely still funny.
How is a blonde like a tornado?
There's a lot of sucking and blowing, and then your house is gone.
_________________ The Menu- see who's been eaten!
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Mon Aug 20, 2007 8:42 am |
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NanacaCrash
Joined: Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:38 am Posts: 846 Location: in a dark corner
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Have you heard about the blond fox that got its leg stuck in a snare?
She chewed off three of her legs and She was still trapped in the snare!
badabum-pish!
_________________ "It only short jump. You go first." "AIIIEEEE!" "Hmm . . . we go different way now."
Take your pick: Monster / Bunny Alien
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Mon Aug 20, 2007 8:53 am |
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The Count Alucard
Joined: Wed May 02, 2007 10:24 pm Posts: 2619 Location: In the imagination of an otherwise boring guy...
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Did you hear about the three blondes who went hunting?
They finally spotted some tracks on the ground after an hour of looking.
"These are some moose tracks," said the first.
"No!" asserted the second, "these are deer tracks!"
The third one opened her mouth to voice her opinion, but then they all were run over by the train.
_________________ The Menu- see who's been eaten!
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Mon Aug 20, 2007 9:03 am |
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NanacaCrash
Joined: Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:38 am Posts: 846 Location: in a dark corner
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Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
TA DA!!
Thank you, thank you, your a kind audience, now ill go turn on the microwave so I can watch my show =P
_________________ "It only short jump. You go first." "AIIIEEEE!" "Hmm . . . we go different way now."
Take your pick: Monster / Bunny Alien
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Fri Aug 24, 2007 9:39 am |
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Andreea
Joined: Sun Aug 19, 2007 12:39 pm Posts: 273
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A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation. She was awake, so he examined her.
"You'll be fine," he said.
She asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"
The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl.
"What's the matter, Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."
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Sat Sep 01, 2007 1:47 pm |
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Sintor
Joined: Mon Apr 30, 2007 7:24 pm Posts: 243
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lol this ones better
A blonde, A brunette, and a red-head all died in a car crash, and they all went to heaven at the same time.
They arrive at the gates of heaven, when God appears and tells them they must pass a laughter test, if they fail, they will be sent to hell.
The objective was to climb 100 stairs without laughing. Each stair will have it's own joke.
The Brunette goes first, and laughs at the 46th stair.
The Red-Head goes second, and laughs at the 77th stair.
The Blonde, makes all the way to the 100th step, when she suddenly bursts out with laughter.
God asks "Why are you laughing now?"
The Blonde says "I just got the first joke!".
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Sat Sep 01, 2007 1:47 pm |
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Stormbringer
Site Admin
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 7:08 pm Posts: 467
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It was Christmas Eve and Kimberley, a gorgeous blonde was on the roof of a large hotel contemplating suicide. Her boyfriend had left her, she had lost her modelling job and she owed thousands to the bank.
Just about to jump, she felt a tap on her shoulder and turning round, she saw Father Christmas standing there. He asked her what she was doing and she explained the whole sorry story to him.
"Well that's easy," he replied. "I'll give you three Christmas wishes if you do a little something for me in return. First, when you get home, your boyfriend will have returned. Second, next week you will get offered an even better modelling job. And third, the first lottery ticket you buy will win you $50,000."
"Oh thank you, Santa!" And getting down on her knees, because even Father Christams is susceptible to a gorgeous blonde, she gave him the blow job of his life.
"So how old are you, Kimberley?" he asked as he rearranged his jolly red suit.
"I'm 22," she replied, discreetly wiping her mouth.
"That's a little old to believe in Santa," the guy laughed as he made his way back downstairs to the fancy dress party.
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Wed Sep 05, 2007 9:01 am |
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The Count Alucard
Joined: Wed May 02, 2007 10:24 pm Posts: 2619 Location: In the imagination of an otherwise boring guy...
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Whoo-hoo, Mr. Stormbringer! (Wasn't expecting one from you. That's awesome!)
All right, here's another Blondes in Heaven joke, so if you're sick of 'em, too bad. Three blondes die and go to heaven. However, Saint Peter stops them from entering the gates. "We need to ensure that those who enter heaven have at least a little knowledge of the religion," he explained. Peter gestured to a large, red-handled lever. "I'm going to ask each of you a question. If you get the question right, you can go in. If you get it wrong, I'll pull this lever, and it'll send you to Hell."
The blondes nodded, ready for their question.
"All right," said Saint Peter, "What is Easter?"
The first blonde said, "That's the one where our family gets together and eats turkey!"
"Nope, that's Thanksgiving," said Saint Peter, pulling the lever and sending her to Hell. He turned to the second blonde and asked her the same question.
The second blonde said, "That's the one where our family gets together and opens presents!"
"Nope, that's Christmas," said Saint Peter, pulling the lever and sending her to Hell. He turned to the third blonde and asked her the same question.
The third blonde said, "It's a celebration of the return of Jesus from the grave-"
Saint Peter nodded, and was about to tell her to go in, when she said...
"-and when he comes out, if he sees his shadow, we all get four more weeks of winter!"
_________________ The Menu- see who's been eaten!
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Wed Sep 05, 2007 5:19 pm |
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Nittia
Joined: Sat May 19, 2007 8:41 pm Posts: 275 Location: behind you!! ^^
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I have nothing to contribute... aside from my laughter... ^_^
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Tue Sep 11, 2007 7:16 am |
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Aleace
Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 3:23 am Posts: 170
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Is bombarded with jokes. Ack...blonde..hair...kills...
*Sinks underwater with a twitching hand* @.@
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Tue Nov 20, 2007 4:05 pm |
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Cukoo
Joined: Sun Jul 01, 2007 6:08 pm Posts: 951
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How are blondes like bowling balls?
You pick them up, you throw them in the gutter, but they still come back to you.
_________________ My my...
Cukoo's Profile
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Wed Nov 21, 2007 3:40 am |
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planeswalker
Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2007 7:20 am Posts: 168 Location: A place that is a place.
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How are a blonde and a halogen light bulb the same?
The both get screwed in cars.
_________________ "No rest, no mercy, no matter what." - The most badass angel of them all.
Profile = Siolazar, Shadowborn
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Wed Nov 21, 2007 8:37 pm |
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Akkiguujin
Joined: Wed Nov 21, 2007 9:49 pm Posts: 403 Location: On the shelf, in the corner, forlorn and abandoned. Why not pick me up?
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A blonde is driving over the speed limit on a highway.
A state patrolman pulls her over and walks up to the open window.
"Do you know how fast you were driving m'am?"
"No officer."
"You were doing a 100 in a 75. That's quite a steep fine."
"Oh dear! Is there anything I can do about it?"
The patrolman thinks for a minute, then unzips his fly.
The blonde sighs and exclaims, "Not another breathalyzer test!"
_________________ Profile
The Doll House
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Mon Nov 26, 2007 5:51 am |
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