Oh dear DL... anything that begins with a shot on the head is bound to be long, epic and horrifying. Unless it's Megaman X7.

Okay, so I've had this song stuck in my head, but I can't remember the name. You all probably know it, the one that goes:

I'm an Angel riding Shotgun
Underneath the Hot Sun
I don't care if heaven won't take me back.

(Also, post for Follower is up next, should be tomorrow. I'm really enjoying the thread, and I keep coming up with ideas, but actual time afforded to me for typing and posting has been limited lately.)

Furry Pickup Line

Wow. Look at you. I just want to stick you in a bread bun, cover you in ketchup and mustard, and eat you up. Cos baby, you is a hot dog.

Lately at work, I've found that I've been taking and sticking a whole lot of discount stickers to myself. No particular reason I guess, but I know I can crave like a whore, and I've been single and needing a good dickin' for a very long time now.

OH MY. Ohh My my my

The conversation I had with myself this morning after I not only arrived on time, but even a little early, for work, a strong cup of coffee. (Okay, it was a Double Chocky Mocha Frappe, but that's got caffeine in it, so it still counts.)

"Boom! Who's the Bitch now, Early Morning Start! You iz. You iz the Bitch now, Early Boieeey!*" Throws various failed attempts at gang signs of which I know none.

*Because, you know, it always arrives too soon

Oh. Yes, and I also meant to add this picture to the post before last.



(No I didn't, but I remembered/thought of it afterwards.)

I need a GF like you Olivia. Your jokes and naughty humor always makes me smile.

*Slowly peels discount sticker of its roll. Applies it to own forehead without once breaking eye contact with Sochi.*

Well, sadly today, I can say that in a world of sideways pulling gravity and apparently ever diminishing capacity, on my part, to hold on to small objects, the score thus far is; Inanimate Objects: 100, Olivia 0. To be clear, I've had a day of things constantly going on the floor and/or flying out of my hands.

Fortunately, I am such a person that now, after such a stressful day, I can head to my bedroom and even the score...

*Eyebrow wiggles*

If you know what I mean.

Oh My retribution is in progress. *Also pays discount price without a second thought.*

"I'd like it 100% off."
"The pimps can't just give out free stuff."
"That's not what I-"
"That's a terrible way to run a business."
"But-"

*Proceeds to be crushed to death underneath the extra chunky whore.

(... Or alternatively I get good and fucked under a rough mating press, either punchline I guess.)

I think id prefer the rough mating press route. Seems more likely to happen

Homer Simpson's reaction to doughnuts was The original Ahego. Prove me wrong.

In Rape fantasies, it's easier to say sorry after, then it is to ask for permission before.

In Rape, real life, you ask for permission before, or else you'll be sorry after.

---

Also, if a compulsive collector, living in a country where multiple marriages are legal, marries one woman who's really timid and shy in the bedroom, and another who's all aggressive and commanding, does he then have to marry the woman who comes to help deliver the babies after he's knocked them up?

(Top, mid and bottom wife, in case the punchline wasn't clear.)