Smiling I gather up the puff an put the cord round me wrist. Then standing I gather up her shampoo an with a playful shove send her in the direction of the pulsing water with a small laugh.

“Well then, we will start at the top and work our way down…then go back to the feet an work our way up. But for now, I want to get the scent of your shampoo an you all over me hands, so I can member yah even tomorrow. This stuff is wonderful, yah gotta know that. I love the way it mixes with you an makes sum thing unique an all yurs. “

I opened the lid an smelled the shampoo deeply then offered me hand to her, pulling her our of the spray of water an close to me. I could look down into those emerald green eyes an see the slight confusion, see the happiness in the way her eyes glittered….an there beneath it all the embers simmered an sparked. I brought me hands up an rubbed the shampoo tween um, then placed her arms round me, waist, the bottle in her hands.

“Hang on an stay close” I whispered brining me lips to her ear, the warm rush of me breath across her lobe. I could feel her arms tighten…well at least I thought they did. An then I slowly spread the scent of coconut along the blonde locks. Me own hair would be much harder given its length. I let me fingertips dig into her scalp in slow circles, as much massaging the tension at her temples an the base of her head as spreading the soap. It would be a long leisurely scrub, the feel of her lithe body next to mine, her hot breath across me breast made me want this feeling to last as long as possible.

“Here….relax, let me work a lil magic by rubbing a bit of this tension outta yur head. An when where done here we’ll work those shoulders of yours….dontcha fret, I ain’t gonna leave a bit of yah dirty. Showers are a great way to get clean an get to know sum one. Like me. Me ma an pa only had me. They called me their miracle baby, sum thing ‘bout ma having trouble getting with child, so they were a bit older than sum of the parents. But, I really loved um an really miss um, so …yah like that, is this ok….I’m gonna rinse this layer off, but you ain’t allowed to let go an then we will give this lovely mop of fine silk another go till its squeaks in me fingers.

Her hands against my scalp did wonders for me as I hung tight at her waist as she'd asked me so kindly to do. the massage to my head and temples were so nice. I had little to say and did little as she controlled my movements I had to ignore the fact my face was so close to her bosom had to ignore quite a bit; mainly the fact we were both nude and touching against each other.

"Have you ever had a boyfriend Cassie?"

I finally ended up asking the question on my mind; I found it a little strange really to ask a girl whom was was rubbing against me in such a way; but, i felt I needed to know.

“Yes an no….I…here, there was a man. Sum times its like a fog. But an I really.” Pausing to collect me thoughts as the water built in me eyes. I never really though much ‘bout the painful stuff…but it wuz there, jus below the surface. In fact, not even Hanaji had asked this question.

“I came to this place from an all girls catholic school, I had planned on being a nun, but ma an pa I think wanted the pitter patter of lil feet in our house at some point. Well, I got this here full ride scholarship an they convinced me to come here not that it really took much convincing to get me here. So, I wuz playing this nifty piana they have in the concert hall. An I swear he wuz an angel, but I know better now.” I wuz in no way not saying nothing ’bout what I thought he wuz on account of people thinking me nuts already.

“So well, one thing lead to another an he like made sum promises an me, being utterly naiveté an all ‘bout men an boys an such gave in…..I….I well, yah know…” The heat wuz in me cheeks an across me chest. Me hands went to work upon her hair, reminding me of why perhaps I had married a girl an not a guy. A girl that wuz now gone…..I felt it….felt the point of danger coming up fast..of breaking for a moment when I needed to be the one that wuz strong an all.

“He took me innocence an never came back. Don’t ever let now one do that to yah…that what I will tell any daughters I have if I get the chance. “ I choked back the sob…the thoughts of love an happiness that now laid broken in me past. Still it wuz worth the try. I liked to be up, positive, an the lord willing perhaps I had another chance. Noting like a perty nude girl with her arms round you to make yah think yah may be ready to try ‘gain.

“But that is done an gone an this is here an now. An I like living in the hear an now. I’m a bit old fashioned I suppose. I like dating an if it comes to it sleeping with only one person. I already gotta answer for what might be sins. Of that I ain’t sure, but it makes sense that if god created the pleasure we can give an receive an yah be honest with yur partner an be with them only, then I suppose it ain’t no sin to love sum one. “ the lather built high on her head fore I shuffled her under the shower an let the tears roll while she couldn’t see um an I could mask um in the water me self.

The past has a way of haunting yah even when yah want to leave it alone.

I looked at Cassie eyes welling with tears at how much saying this had hurt her. We were pulled into the water together and I could see her pain. I sighed deeply looking at her now before finally speaking; my one ability that I'd trained very well by now; and indeed I knew I had a few, was more of a curse at times like these.

"You're crying aren't you? You're trying to hide the tears in the water but; the light of your soul doesn't lie. That scholarship you got I got too... I wasn't planning to come here I knew what the name meant in Japanese I'm a bit of a linguist... I had a full scholarship to yale, harvard, baruch and most of the ivy league colleges... they all vanished without a trace in one night."

I was rambling trying to take her mind off of her hurt and onto what had happened in my life. I wanted to comfort her now for my folly of a question I'd asked her. I felt horrible for it. I hoped she didn't think worse of me for just that bit of curiosity; I didn't want curiosity to kill the cat that was whatever we had for each other, be it friendship or something else.

Sable listen in feeling more pissed by the second she wish she got that close to room mate but at last thanks to her little "rape" that blew her chances to ever have Michael have feelings for her so maybe this was for the best but just listing to them and also seeing them after dream just made her little depress but she wasn't going to show that to Cassie or Michael at least that's what she told her self

Tousling the wet blonde strands as I gathered me wits. She knew…knew sum how what I’d been tryin’ to do.

“Your hair is so soft an silky, I’’ll bet it will jus about bounce round those shoulders of yurs. Remind me to never try an pull one on yah… Yes it hurts inside, not yur fault. I mean you didn’t sleep with the lout, I did. Dumb moment I had there. I suppose everyone goes through those. Well, I’m happy yur here an all. Yur arms round me make me happy…you make me happy. An If I can I will aim to make you as happy as I feel.” I felt the compulsion pull on me…felt the way her head tipped up to mine an kissed her, once, on the forehead. Oh, how I longed to go lower, to touch me lips to hers. To taste the elixir of her lips, an later the honey of other lips. But I could control me self, life as hanaji’s mistress had taught me many things. It wuz best to wait till she cried out in need before delivering the touches I craved to give her. Each step wuz a small one, an when she looked back she might see jus how far she had come. I could only hope she wuz happy with the choice for it wuz really not me aim to manipulate her into anything. No, I really did care, an the more she held me the more those feelings grew.

“well, I’m glad you are here, life would have been much duller…I mean we wouldn’t be having a shower together now would be…an I wouldn’t have had you as a friend and a love. Tis better to love an lost then to have never loved. The lows I feel are nothing to the highs of waking up beside sum one you love an listening to them breath. An later, listening to them well….perhaps we shall learn of later.

I took the soap an they puff an slowly worked it over her chin an neck. Letting her tilt her had back an admiring the curve of her neck and the way it sloped so smoothly into her shoulder. Slowly me hands worked the tension in those shoulders, scrubbing them, loosening them. Then sliding down her back an pulling her into me body, one leg tween hers, letting each tug along her back pull her upon the angled thigh, feeling her warmth against me leg. Teasing, rubbing slightly as I scrubbed her back an then began to massage it with strong slender fingers. I waited to see if she would move of her own upon me leg, to see if she had enjoyed the sensations I wuz sure she had felt.

I quivered slightly from the feeling of her leg rubbing between my legs I'd shift t try and free myself from the sensations for now; I wasn't ready for anything like that... not yet at least. I still had questions I wanted to ask of Cassie. She sounded like she'd wait until I was ready and until that time came; for now I wanted to talk as she eased the tension from my back. I could have helped the gentle gasp i let forth as I freed myself though.

"No... it felt good but... I'm just not sure I'm reaady for that touch just yet."

I told her workijng on my next question. It came to mind sooner than I had hoped. I didn't want to use names though so I made up a situation.

"Cassie... if you were raped by another student you'd just met... and they had trouble understanding why someone wouldn't like sex & had the best intentions but, wouldn't listen to you when you asked them to stop because they thought they were helping you... would you be able to forgive them?"

I had a second half to the question I'd ask later or perhaps sooner.

I moved me leg…an now paused. The question had me stop all me motions. As I looked down upon her stark an earnest face. Oh god no.

“Michael….of all the things that could happen…I’m sorry…oh lord in heaven. “ I jus held her, me breathing sputtering not really knowing how to comfort for that. I mean…who would do such a thing.

“I cannot say what I would do, cause it ain’t really happened to me. But…I think…IF it wuz me, I’d know that if they asked As a Christian I should forgive them an be able to turn the other cheek an all. But…I don’t really think I’m lamb ‘nough for that. There is like this wolf part of me that would want to tear them limb for limb no matter how remorseful the felt. At the very least I don’t think I could bring me self to trust um….or even be round um. I think I’d have to run from um even after I forgave um if I could muster the strength to do so. I think I’d run so I didn’t clobber um. So honestly I don’t know I could even knowing I’m supposed to do things like that.”

I let her slide tween me legs, not sex now….no…people didn’t ask questions like that an not be asking um for themselves. Well that is what our psych 101 book had said. OH god she had been through a lot, no wonder she wuz hesitating. And to think all this time I’d been pushing all the wrong buttons. Maybe not entirely…she seemed to want to get close, but now, in this public place wuz not the right thing to do. No, she would jus need to be held.

“I think the person that would do sum thing like that should rot in hell. But then perhaps I ain’t been much of a saint towards you…..maybe I wuz pushing a lil to hard an all. Do yah want me to jus hold yah for a bit….” Girls didn’t ask these kinds of questions of sum body there were naked with for the first time unless sum thing wuz troubling them. If me hunch wuz correct an I found out it wuz her that had been on the receiving end sum body might find out jus how vengeful an Christian could be

Maybe I should have asked her major & minor before I had asked this question... I didn't want her to hurt Sable. I wasn't sure about anything my mind and body was telling me right now. I couldn't go one with my questions when I realized she knew what was wrong and who I was talking about.

"I'm sorry Cassie... I shouldn't have put my burden on your shoulders. On a girl whose been so nice to me. You've done so much in so little time with me. I told you that you could do what you thought was right. I'm sorry I wasn't planing to tell you to stop but, I guess I couldn't follow through with it with this on my mind."

I glanced to the right; I noticed another familiar light; Sable's... she was depressed and it hurt to see that color of light around her frame. even if I couldn't see her too well. Hurting two of the three women at this school I cared so much about in one day... the only thing that could make this worse was if I hurt my best friend rose's feelings before midnight.

Sable listen and sighed softly and thought to her self "yeah I do need to rot in hell just what in the world was I thinking.." she felt no better then the monster that raped them just now or was it a dream right now that didn't matter what mattered now that Sable felt low alittle bit depress and also felt anger towards her self

The tension seemed to return across her back as she spoke. It made me want to hug, to help, but how could I if I had never for experienced sum thing that bad ‘fore. I felt like the blind leading the blind down a path fraught with pitfalls an traps. One false move an things would go all topsy turvey like.

“Michael I told you, you were an angel. You have a big heart, a wonderful loving an caring heart that deserves nothing short of the best that life can offer. I wuzn’t sure til now if it had been you, an I won’t ask you who did this to you. You can tell me if yah want, an if yah said I needed to forgive um like you, well how couldn’t I…but trust. Well….that I might not do so well. “

Sum how her arms still held me after all that. Held me close like she gathered the warmth an the joy from me so she could ask the questions. Maybe she needed me so she could step forward an put the past behind her. Oh…she wuz so much stronger than I. I could feel me heart begin to pound. Me fingers tremble. Everywhere she touched me the electricity seemed to make me skin tingle an go alive. Not since Hanaji had held me had I felt these sensations….not…..no not lust, this went beyond the initial thoughts of soft beds an pleasure. I had the distinct feeling that I’d gone on past that cliff an done taken the plunge.

“You are not a burden, oh dear lord in heaven who is me witness you are not. The closet of friends do share certain intimacies, it’s how we get through the travails of life itself. “ I cupped her side of her head an pressed it to me to offer support, comfort. Me fingers stealing softly into the silky wet hair. Me other hand tween her shoulder blades as I kiss her forehead an lay me cheek against the top of her head.

“I am so sorry…an the nightmare….the thing we faced together coming fast upon that. I mean, you jus got here. An…an to… I knew god called me to you…to act. Oh but you have strength in you that I wish I had. An goodness. Sum times I wonder ‘bout me self. If we are to bare our souls before one another than I shall tell you sum things that may scare you right on off. The things that tell me I may have a darker side than most. “ I paused, not looking at her..Gathering me thoughts an stepping o'er the abyss.

“Hanaji wuz me love, me partner an we married. I think she mostly seduced me but I was not saying no at the time. With her I discovered a part of me that I had not known existed. She wuz like a submissive. I mean looking at her an all you would never have guessed. But in private she wanted to be dominated an with me, she found sum one all to willing. I’d not known what it felt like to wield that kind of power o’er sum one else. That force could be so intoxicating. An from her I learned a great deal about what I think may be the darker side to me personality. So maybe I ain’t really all that different from the person that did this to you. I can understand the need to dominate, to wield power an how it can be so stimulating in a sexual way. But for a rapist Michael, it wuzn’t really sex they wanted it wuz power. Power o’er you. I suppose what makes me different is that hanaji an I both knew the safe word. Both knew that if it ever wuz mentioned then there wuz a bond of trust that I would stop. I understood no….an as I think ‘bout it that might be what separates the good from the bad. As I look back as well, it would seem that I wuz not enough for Hanaji, sum how I failed her. I fear the failing again. I would love to take you to me bed, you must understand that, would love to show you the love I feel in an intimate personal way. I have felt the betrayal of that trust an so would not take the plunge with anyone else lightly…kinda a do unto others what you would like done unto you sort of thing. Know that I deeply care, but in me own lil head, to love is also to let go so the other may fly even higher an if it is god’s will, to come back to you an lift you higher with ‘um”. The tear trickled once more down me cheek.

“Darn ain’t we a sight…a couple of lugs an all. I’m sorry….love an wish I could change the past with all me heart. If I had a wish to give it would be jus that, to use it for your sake. If you ever wanted a safe word, an you had me continue know that if you said the word I would stop, hold you an harbor no hard feelings towards yah at all. Trust is a powerful thing an nothing to be trampled on. Nothing has to happen today or any other time. No matter how much I may want it too….there are plenty of toys still in me closet for that ” I grinned once more looking down at her, trying to make it a joke an getting her to smile. A smile that would light up her face like a Christmas tree an tell me all wuz still good in Kansas.

Sable just listen in more until she took a peak at the two and sighed softly once more as she looks at Michael mostly she licked her lips alittle but shook her head trying to get those thoughts out of her head since she remembered what happen last time "um could I say something..."

The voice broke me outta me reverie, reminding me once more this wuz not a private bath….an I’d been cavorting me self in a manner not like the lady me Ma had taught me. The leg thingy had been really bad an all, but how did you act when sum one jus as good as tells you they been raped. It’d never happened to me, nor to any of me friends. Sum how jus planting a big ole kiss on those wonderful looking lips liked I wanted wuz looking like a really bad idea. But then ‘gain if I didn’t I’d be treating her different. An most people say they don’t wanna be treated any different an all….oh lord have mercy on her soul an help me navigate these treacherous waters.

“Sable…come here…of course yah can say sum thing…..I’m sorry…you suffered as well….oh lord I’ve not been fair to yah have I.”

An then leaning in real close to her ear I whispered.

“does Sable know ‘bout this?, cause If yah want I can keep a secret an all as the lord is me witness…just tell me how I can help an If I need to keep me mouth shut…if so …mums the word. “ an there I stayed, her breath running cross me ear an sending goose bumps up me arms….I had to close me eyes an think on the lord to avoid impure thoughts that might harm the friendship and the relationship that I really wanted with this lovely girl with the heart of gold.

I looked to Sable offering little more than a blush to the pair though; I knew Sable saw me undressed before but, not in the arms of another; not with them in my arms. I saw a disturbing image in my head; one that before would never have even crossed my clean mind. I saw an image of cassie and sable both pleasuring my small form, both of them crying in ecstacy as I played their chords just right. it was giving me a headache trying to stop the idea from growing in my mind and just as I did it stopped. I sighed and held tighter still onto cassie pulling any comfort i could from the woman before whispering.

"She knows..."

The way I said it sounded as if I wasn't giving cassie the whole story; I couldn't help it... I just hoped Cassie didn't figure out that it was Sable that had done such a horrible thing to me I didn't want to put that on my blue haired friend's shoulders. Didn't want people hating her. I promised I wouldn't let it get too far out that she'd done it; no where passed her sister. Next question i asked was a little strange as i let it pass my lips.

"What would you do if you began to have feelings for the one who did that sort of thing to you and then began having those same feelings for someone else as well both just as strong?"

I welcomed sable, an gave her a hug. Even so it wuz kinda uncomfortable. Things wuz moving sideways as it were. I didn’t wanna break um up, didn’t wanna be a third wheel in a partnership that already existed. An frankly both of um looked a might bit uncomfortable right then, there wuz sum thing tween um…sum thing an yet Michael had denied it. yet Michael had told her rommie ‘bout the attack, bout what had happened. So they had to be close, or Michael trusted her. I suppose you’d better be able to trust yur roomie, anything less wuz no way to live at’all.

Worry furrowed me brow, an I hugged her closer, putting a kiss to her forehead once more as if to comfort her. Our Psych class had talked ‘bout this very thing. One thing ‘bout being in an all girls school the stuff they teach you pertains to girls an woman an stuff.

“I think yur making a mistake. Sorry, but like in psych class, which you’ll have to take, we had a couple of weeks that delt with a few of these types of things. Like there wuz this hostage situation in Stockholm, an like afterwards the woman feel in love with her captor. After all he did to her, she jus plan fell in love with him like she owed him for not killing her. I suppose it could be like that for a rape victim. You feel lucky to be alive afterwards an you also have this attachment.”

Pausing for a moment I pondered what she had told me earlier ‘bout not having a boy friend ever an all. Made me think…think that she had been like pure an innocent in this attack. Oh….I felt for her. she had forgiven her attacker…an then fallen in love with them? It jus felt so wrong…so very wrong that me whole body wanted to hold her tight an protect her…maybe even Sable could help, I reckoned she wuz helping.

“oh Michael…this …this wuz worse for you cause it wuz your first time wuzn’t it. You feel guilty, like maybe you led them on…maybe you deserved it cause the other person did tell you they wuz sorry. Don’t ever buy that one. Like men, husbands beat on their wives, an then afterwards when the blood has been spilled they are all sooooo very remorseful like. Honey, I’m sorry…so sorry, and they get them gifts, or massage their feet, an beg n plead that they have learned and that they won’t ever do it again. An it happens….suddenly….once more. The whole cycle o’er an o’er like till one day the women ends up with her head smashed in or the guy gets his you now what cut off like what Mrs Bobbit did to her hubby. Had a long discussion on that one in class. An like there would be now way I’d stay…no way. Even though I believe in them vows of better an worse. I don’t think that no way to treat another. If it meant that I’d never marry ‘gain nor have sex or nothing then that would be the way of it. But I’m sure Sable told yah the same thing….I’m sure cause I can see she cares for yah, there is that hint of jealousy in her eyes…an its ok…I ain’t trying to steal no one from no one. I’m real sorry if this ain’t what you wanted to hear. But I care for yah an don’t want it to ever happen ‘gain. Nobody should go through that. That nightmare wuz bad enough…I’d hate for it to be the real thing an all.

I tell you what…how ‘bout I make this a day at the spa for yah. Yah know how I feel bout yah Michael, an never having gone through the thing yah did I don’t wanna like step on yur toes an stuff….but yah deserve a lil pampering an Cassie can do jus that. Though…you’ll have to tell the truth bout the nightmare, I think I got a way to get us out’ta classes for the rest of the day. “

I could feel the nervous energy jus bounce along me nerves. I’d never done nothing like this in me life, but for her….for her piece of mind I’d do it. It being Friday an all, it might give her time to come to her senses an all.