Could it really be that simple? Could it just be the attachment Cassie was saying it was? I didn't think so. I might still hold onto the anger from that night long before but... I really liked her, she'd started me on a path to recovery and I thanks her for it today; I'd never had been able to do this without her. I could come up with nothing else to say about this without incriminating Sable; if she wanted to tell Cassie she would I looked to sable with a sage nod saying so in a silent manner.

"I'd love a spa day... myabe just the three of us if that's alright with you Cassie... I'm sure you're not stepping on any toes or getting between anyone. I'm pretty sure I'm single... even if I'm not exactly sure if I like other women."

I was honest. Never before Had I explored sexuality of preference in such things. I suppose college was for experimenting though learning about ones self.

I had to really breathe a big sigh an find me bearing. One hand absently tracing circles in the small of Michaels back, thinking. Could I do this. Yes, platonically. But I really didn’t want that. Yet it seemed for now the way it had to go. I really didn’t wanna get hurt ‘gain. Not like last time. An if Michael wuz thinking this other girl that had done them bad things was the right one, well that wuz her business I’d done told her how I felt all honest like. Not much more to do than that. Her skin was so soft, without a blemish any were.

“Ok…soap though first.” I breathed in the scent of her hair in one long deep breath. Not certain what I’d jus agreed to. Wuz it not better to have loved an lost than to have never loved at’all? I thought that wuz how the saying went.

Slowly I ran me fingers back along her arms that still clutched me round the back. Perhaps awkward, but I wuz not gonna tell her to let go. For one I liked it. For two well…maybe she needed it. instead I moved me shoulders back which had the effect of pushing me chest even more so into her face. I really tried not to wiggle too much, as much as I liked nestled all safe tween me breasts. When she breathed I could feel the exhale of her breathe like a warm breeze upon me wet skin. An when she moved her head an looked up I could see an angels face….an real slowly once more relaxing angel. Though neither of them positions wuz good for me libido as one of me teachers had said it wuz. Pnme way I wanted to end foreword an kiss those lips, the other jus move me chest a bit an let her lips touch the rosy tip of me.

But I wouldn’t no matter what. At least that is what I kept telling me self every inch of the way as I worked me way one arm at a time back to the shoulder.

So like were’d yah grow up at…big city, small town like me…farm…nah…not farm…let me guess big city.” I wanted to know more ‘bouts her. so I might as well get to talking, after all it wuz sum thing I did real good, an could take the edge of what I wuz feeling. Every other time I’d had a girl in the shower with me, well…Ok, it’d only been hanaji…but still every time had lead to other things. An me body seemed to be expecting the same her no matter how much I denied it. I could do this…I really could. Jus had to keep telling me self that.

"I'm from redwood city, california, smallest city in the state actually. Was a pretty nice place not too crowded or busy really nice weather I thought at least."

I told her as she soaped my arms and back eyes glancing upward at her again particularly my eyes were drawn to her lips. I knew she'd wanted to kiss me she'd said so but, Why had she not? She had more willpower than I would have thought. I wondered then if she didn't believe me when I said i enjoyed her company and liked her. I wondered if perhaps it was somehow my fault she wouldn't try the simplist show of affection. perhaps she just didn't think her will power was strong enough to just kiss and not take it further.

"Small city, a nice middle ground between town and metropolis I think don't you?"

My eyes stared into her for just another moment before I'd again turn my head eyes seeing that golden ring at her chest before i'd close my eyes and do something I'd normally find unthinkable. gently; not even hard enough to evoke a physical reactioni kissed the side of her chest. A show that I really wasn't lying.

Sable would just watch them before folding her arms and listen she would blush deep as Micheal told her that she might have feelings for her "so I didn't blow it just yet..." she thought to her self as she sighs feeling a little bit better she would smirk and chuckle "um you guys mind if I helped out too?"

There wuz a look in those eyes, I’d glance downwards, seeing her look up at me as if expecting sum thing, an I’d have to look away, ‘fraid of being drawn in by those gentle eyes an the round full lips. ‘fraid of doing what had been done before. Maybe the knowledge of the act made me treat her different. I reckon she would not have approved. But already once I’d gotten carried away an been rebuffed.

So as I gain to work the soap between us, he rbody gently pressed ‘gainst mine it wuz a cold shock to feel her lips move upon me skin. A soft luscious kiss upon the skin of me breast that sent shivers up an down me spine. Perhaps I wuz treating her in a manner she did not want to be treated.

One kiss an all me mind had lost its focus. One kiss an all I cold think on wuz all that had happened an how I wanted this…an …an did she really want me? Or wuz she trying to jus make it up to me? An Sable…Sable wuz here…what ‘bout her…what ‘bout them. Me mind swirled while me hands had plenty to do.

Like a plane on out pilot they did their work. Silently sliding tween our bodies, slithering along her flanks an cupping the pert an tender blossom of her chest. Then sliding back downwards till I alternated one with the other…One up, working itself along the prim teacup an across the nipple. Not pulling, not pinching, jus a stroke, strong to rub the soap into her skin. The other hand finding the top of her fur an getting it slick an clean with tender strokes.

“Sable…soap” handing her the bar now that Michaels front side was slick against me.

“Why don’t you get her back real good…she needs to be squeaky clean jus like she likes it.”

I looked down once more daring to bring her chin up with one hand, the soap trailing down her graceful neck an tween her perky wonderful breasts. I bent me head….close, me lips almost to hers….

“I felt that…if you want a kiss….I’m right here an available, but sum times. Sum times you have to learn how to say yes an take what is being offered. I will not force me self upon you. You are in absolute charge Michael….not matter how on fire me belly is. You lit the fire an hour ago.”

Lips quiver, her breath upon me face, our eyes gazing at one another, me fingers cupping her chin while one hand gently strokes her chest an Sable works her back.

What Did I want right now? Sable at my back Cassie at my front both whom I had Identical confusing feelings for. Cassie's soft touch against my bosom had just made the choice all the more difficult for me and then she brought her lips so close to mine. One girl whom protected me one whom betrayed me. I wanted someone to make this choice for me. Rose had always chosen for me, every little thing the tough choices in life all for me.

I'd have to do this on my own, m mind finally showed me this now. Cassie's beautiful eyes and words compelled me forward just that small distance touching our lips together. I hoped Sable didn't hate me for choosing to embrace my first willing kiss with Cassie, she'd already had my body in another way after all.

"A kiss... can be just a kiss right?"

I asked just breaking the kiss for a few moments before returning my lips onto her own inexperience showing through fully.

Sable sat behind Micheal and started to rub her back slowly with the soap ohhh being this close to Micheal and Cassie was way to much for the poor girl she wanted to fuck them both but after what happen last time she was trying her best to hold back as she watch the two kissed she felt a little mad about it but thought it was only fair since she did rape her poor room mate

They were as soft an yet firm as I needed um to be. A wonderful warmth that left me own full lips buzzing. To short the kiss went. Her head pulling back and the question. Always a question, always this undercurrent of fear. I knew it well…knew those feelings as even know the spun me in weird directions. It wuz as if another person entirely had taken control. If I’d of had sense I would have left at the suggestion of a public shower. Already I could hear the noises of sonar an linny in the other corner, noises of sex an lust. Moans of joy an happiness.

No this wuzn’t me but I wuz still here. An then Sable…dear lil Sable her blue har now wet, the biggest smile id seen on her face yet as she washed down Michaels back with a gusto I’d not been ready for. All caring an soft an gentle. Lord only knew what I gotten me self into. But her taste wuz on me lips now, an there wuz no going back without being a real heal.

“ummm Yes, a kiss can be a kiss…an need not lead to nothing else you don’t want it too….but all the same a kiss upon the lips like that signifies that you want more than friends…you want a lover. Sum one to share intimacies with. If you don’t mean for that to happen then you shouldn’t kiss a breast or the lips…cheeks will do jus fine. Like dear old gam’am….thanks for the lips…don’cha be afraid to smack me if this is too much. Did I tell you I like the taste…..”

I let that be the cue, the time me lips once more sought hers, me fingers spreading along her jaw line, touching that delicate neck while me other fingers gently gather the pert flesh of her breast. Had I felt any resistance I would have tried to break it off….but her hands held me…an me tongue slipped tween me lips to probe her own..wandering if she would yield an open her mouth….the dance had now begun. A dance of lust an desire that made me body ache in need.

I heard what she'd said to me but, I no longer care. I did want someone closer than a friend as rose was to me & indeed had been since we were children. I wanted someone to hold me but... I felt as though I were being torn apart.

Her tongue found an open yet hesitant welcome to explore my own still... I didn't want to hurt sable or Cassie and that's what I felt I'd do if I moved either way. eyes showed the great deal of conflict as tears fell not hidden I wasn't in the water hadn't been on me then as they scrubbed my skin clean of the impurities it held.

Cassie's fingers gathering the flesh at my chest; gently it felt nice so very nice this time compared to last...perhaps it was the soap calming me; the feeling of the germs being kept away by the pure soap.

I wasn't even sure how to reciprocate the physical actions Cassie was doing to me; I'd never done this without instruction before...

Sable would rub her roomie's back some more as she start to slowly kiss her back softly wondering what her reaction would be she would also reach out and rest on hand on Cassie's thigh she was in love with Micheal but at that moment she just wanted to touch the red head as well ever so badly it was driving her nuts she wanted to fuck both their brains out but at the same time she didn't want a repeat of what happen with her and Micheal

Warm an inviting the mouth opened. And then…hesitation. I could feel her body grow more rigid as me tongue found hers. But it was enough, an I had promised. Every inch of me bady rallied ‘gainst the decision in me head, but it wuz the right one…it had to be. Still she did not slap me, did not try an pull away. Only the hesitation….only that.

I broke the kiss, her tongue jus at her lips, her eyes wide, tears…oh lord what had I done. I stopped me hands, pulling them back on out to me sides. All that kept her were she wuz were her own arms about me, not releasing me…not letting me go or pushing me away as I expected with those tears in her eyes. but I must have gone to far, the only thing keeping her here wuz me stopping…or …or did she expect me to rape her. Expect me to take advantage so that she could love me. I didn’t like that thought at all, but had pressed her chest into me hand. I had to talk…had to communicate…

“yur not alright, unless those are tears of joy, an …an is it me? Please tell me what yur feeling, an tell me if yah don’t understand what I’ve told yah I’m feeling. I’m sorry Michael, so sorry, but like I seem to be getting mixed signals…even now sable looks distraught, an yet there is a gleam in her eyes when she touched yur skin. I am in the middle ain’t I…an here…in this place…too public. This is soooo not like me. Michael, sum things happening to me an I don’t know if I like it, not the part with you, but the part with sable her, an linny an Sondra right over there..an like I feel one minute you want me so bad…and then the next yur not sure. But I am sure I’d go through hell itself for yah. Sure an all.”

Oh good lord in heaven help me…I’d made a grand mess of things. I’d wanted sum thing that wuz not mine to have. I wuz taking sum thing that had to be sumone else’s. the kiss….it had seemed true enough an so unschooled. Had she held her passion back, wuz that terrible experience holding her back?

“I really need to know…is the only time you’ve like been with a boy or a girl that one time you got …well….an now…is that why your not sure?” Oh my…what wuz I doing. All the wrong things. This amazing lil petite girl that I jus wanted to hold an love, had I gone an messed it up by not being slower by suggesting sum thing.. an then adding Sable into the mix. I needed to find out…

“If yah want kiss her…jus like we did, an if you really like her let those feelings into yur mouth. Let her know how you feel when you hold her.” I’d promised her a day at the Spa…an I would deliver gracefully bowing out so they could be alone together. …an yet…yet there wuz a hand on me thigh, one that did not belong to Michael, as if Sable too was aksing me to join them. A kind an hearatfelt desire to draw me into there circle….oh this had to be wrong…had to be so wrong an yet…yet me heart flipped flopped an me hands shook. No contact…no girl or boy had been with me for o’er a month…an I craved it…craved it ever more as I fought the sensations down.

(Goo’night….get sum rest an get better…I’ll see yah tomorrow. The bed is calling me name)

She broke the kiss... I hadn't wanted her to yet she did. The mixed signals I was giving her was just a product of my own mixed feeling. I closed my eyes gently. Sable's lips at my back made me shiver joyously yes still I had no idea what I wanted.

"I don't know what I'm feeling. I can only imagine it's love by how confusing it is... I want you to kiss me Cassie; I want you to touch me, love me... but... sable... the same feelings... I want the same thing from her despite what she did to me..."

I had let it slip; oh how bad was my state of mind that I'd break my word. I didn't release Cassie though, instead i gripped her even tighter; as tight as I possibly could, thigh thigh against cassie's bare mound our bodies held with a near air tight seal between them now.

"I... I didn't mean to sable... I'm sorry... But... I'm just so lost... I don't know if it's normal to want two people to love me the same way... I can't help it... I feel selfish for it but."

I couldn;t help myself I was having a nervous breakdown now and couldn't stop myself from baring my soul to these two whom I'd barely even met. the red head whom I only knew from seeing pass in the halls and a shared horror & my roomie whom I only knew for a few short weeks of near silence.

((sleep well cassie))

As Sables hand slide along me thigh I let me own join it. Such a small petite hand, such a wonder as I towered o’er this girl like a giant of sum sort. An in a moment of utter weakness I let that hand, if not guiding it inwards, our fingers splayed, mine tween hers as I threw me hip an let it slide…slide inwards to dwell upon me mound. I swear her hand twitched upon touching the smooth clean baby soft surface. An I pushed it downwards, an gulped, not certain if it wuz me hand or hears that had touched the golden ring. No .. Sable wanted more than jus Michael, I could tell…until…

Until the words I had in no way expected tumbled like a bomb to deliver their blow upon me body. I felt her arms close even tighter round me. Found her body slide tween us, knocking Sables now still hand from the place that I…I had guided it. Everything had been because I thought I might be getting tween um. That…that….

Oh lord now what. Me mind wuz mush, having sable touch me…an now now I felt the warmth of Michael’s thigh there. A warm wonderful feeling I could not enjoy with all the turmoil in me head. Her roommate….the betrayal that must have been. How could she live in the same room all these weeks…how? How I had longed for her arms an legs to entwine with mine, but not for this reason…no, not …. How has I missed the signs.

I chewed on me lip, biting down till I felt the warm coopery taste in me mouth. Pain, blood, It kept me from lashing out, striking outta anger, reminded me of where an when I wuz. Had linny an Sondra heard o’er the noise of splashing water. Not important if they had it wouldn’t be me pummeling sable, rest assured. No….muscles tensed…relaxed, then tensed again as I battled with me own emotions but through it all it wuz Michaels body gainst me that kept me grounded. She’d done an honorable an noble thing that. Damn…

In hindsight I should’a known…dumb…dumb…dumb….I’d asked if they were an item, no…had been her pained answer. Sables looks, the desire, the depression, the shear glee when I welcomed her. How long had she held herself, wondering if Michael had told me the great secret…A part of me wanted to run right then. To leave this crazy situation an not look back. It would be the easier road. But…but already crazy as she wuz for all these twisted feelings she harbored, I could tell she wanted an needed me to be strong. To not go off all half cocked. To be the rock I wuz supposed to be ‘gainst the tempest that brewed in this room. But Michael deserved so much better than that. An Sable…what …what to do there. Did she not understand the difference tween giving or takin…

Me voice broke an sputtered. The words not making it. I breathed deep…feeling her pressed so tightly against me body. Another deep breath, an I unclenched the fists I had unknowingly made. Got me toes to uncurl an settled more on the balls of me feet. Then I brought up me hand to her tear stained face an looked onto those watery eyes, the green sparkle highlighted by the glint from her tears. I let me lips touch hers, finding reassurance in the kiss. A slow passionate kiss, breathing in the scent of her skin, her hair, reminding me of were I wuz an when….who’s arms held me. I let me self relax against her, let me mound shift upon her leg, rubbing once…twice, no accident that before I broke the contact an looked at her.

“I love you…” a whisper, me voice breaking. Then I found it…found the voice that had deserted me as the warm good feelings that love invokes embraced me entire body. Love would help find the way for me…for us, not hate, not anger that so wanted loose.

“I won’t hurt her, for your sake, cause you would hate me for it. Frankly you are all the stronger for being able to forgive her….for me…it will take time. How?”

I looked up at Sable, breaking from the eyes that threatened to engulf me, the brows furrowing as I regarded at her an thought on her sins. Yet I gave no one time to talk, instead the words continued to pour out, perhaps incoherent, the ravings of a mad woman…but hear me they would.

“HOW? How could you do that to another human being…least another girl. Are there not enough problems in the world to go ‘round.” I breathed deep, the scent of coconut, the feel of her arms around me. The thigh tween me legs that quivered for reasons I did not want it quivering, good as it felt I buried those feelings an kept me self grounded by the arms about me.

“Sable…” I tried to be calm, clear… “yah need to come clean, admit…turn yur self in to admin an let the punishment stand. Yah need to find some ground to stand on…to …reflect on’ cause this thing you did. So small…you, not the thing…when it gets out, not if…it will, there will be another time when someone talks. There are girls in this school that would pummel you….hang you up by yur feet from the flag pole an whip you till you no longer could even feel the pain….”

I looked back at the shell shock in me loves face, the fear, an horror an revulsion…an love…so much love…enough to forgive, but not enough it would seem to forget. No, that would always be there, always gnawing at her.

“You need to get outta that room, an I have an empty one in the suite. Its yurs if you yah want, we can get that through admin. Yah can lock the door when yah need, yur own private sanctuary…but living…living with her after what she’s done is not a good thing. Yah both need time to heal…oh lord give me strength an wisdom I do pray….I got two ears…I need to listen….I’m sorry but I had to get that off me chest. I won’t hurt her…even though she hurt you….but carrying on with…oh …Bite me tongue … please, I’ll listen an stop pronouncing judgments….”

The soap long forgotten on the floor of the shower area, a the flow of foam upon the water as it swirled round the drain seeming to be so much like our dreams, our loves when the reality of the world hit home.

Sable gasp hearing her words but then sighed and looked down it was for the best that might be the right idea but then looked at Cassie "congrats your the 100th parson to tell me I raped I know that now ALRIGHT!" she says holding back her tears "I I was just trying to help her but I got carried away that's all I didn't even know I was hurting her..."

she was telling the truth she was only trying to help Michael or at least that's what she wanted to think she loved Micheal and she wouldn't do anything to hurt her

I wuz getting more confused by the minute….what I had thought simple, but the pain that Sable exhibited as she spoke the words….rape wuz rape…wuz it not?

“then how….how if you were helping could you get it sooo mixed up. She did tell you to stop…didn’t she. No means no….”

How…how…how. Perhaps this wuz not so easy to understand. I mean…I too had seemingly gotten signals crossed with this girl. She wanted so much. But wuz it fear of what she wanted that hindered her. made her say no even as her fingers an arms said yes? Had I not somehow misread every ebb an flow…not certain. But then I had warned her. An I had stopped each time she seemed to say now…but I had known as well. Had begun to understand eh why. I

I looked at sable…wanting her explanation, feeling for the tug of arms ‘bout me to let me know the truth from any lies. I wuz not yet nearly ready to forgive.