Jus’ when yah think yah may have lost one more chance at love in life every thing changes. Hand upon chin he tipped me head an bent his lips to mine. Softly, like the flicker of a butterflies wings, those wonderful lips touched mine an electricity danced through out me body. Me heart pounded in me chest an me belly did a flip flop fore it settled an I found me self straining upwards eyes closed for more. Ohhhhh it felt so right, so very right.

The sent of him surrounded me, bathed me in peace an security. Strong arms held me…gave me a sense of how he could protect me from the horrors of me own dreams. I felt me own hand slide behind powerful shoulders to curl an clench the well muscled flesh. So warm….so very warm that even me bare feet felt hot.

In the heat of the moment sum how I found the breathe to answer him…

“Yah get to see none of that lace till yah do the right thing an make me a kept woman” I teased, still feeling the lingering tingle of his touch upon now moist lips. Perhaps flirting was not so bad? Perhaps, I should show him the dimensions of the woman that now occupied his lap….was that a bad thing? Was not my bathing suit as revealing…yet thrilled as it made me feel to where the dainties for him it seemed vaguely wrong…like I might be teasing an a bit bad to be doing so….

But right then I wanted sum thing else…really wanted it. Arching me back I pushed me head upwards an arched an arm round the back of his head to pull his lips back to mine. Felt the thrill of um once more, but this time I pushed an pulled them harder ‘gainst me own letting that inner need voice it self in the natural lock of lips. Letting me tongue loose I felt its tip move past me now open mouth an tease his lips, finding them open as well, finding his own swirling tongue.

Breaking the kiss I let him have access to the smooth line of me neck sum what worried now at the Pandora’s box I’d opened. Lord knew it felt good an right but that did not mean I wuz not on the wide downward path of damnation.

“I….I reckon we ….should …. Stop soon…. Ummmmmm soooo nice though” I panted tween quick gulps of air an a shower of small kisses upon his chin an cheeks. Maybe this would be a good time for the lace.....

Siferus knew what she meant when she said a kept woman. Unfortunately, he didn't have a ring to give her. Then he remembered his college ring around his neck. He took it off, placing the chain around her neck. Then she kissed him, passion flowing from her like a raging river. Cassie could feel underneath of her that other parts of him were excited as well.

My God, you're a fantastic kisser. I want to see more sides of you, Cassie. My ring is my promise to you.

The kisses stopped, His hands moving to snake the thick gold chain from round his neck. It dangled there ‘fore me eyes twistin’ in the nights own air while the scent of uneaten popcorn beckoned in the background. Me tummy twisted an gurgled happily while he placed the ring an all it might mean bouts me neck. promises of so much more…so soon…so very soon….all to quickly an not nearly quickly nough I reckoned confused by the very thoughts that thrilled me to no end.

“I..no…yes….oh lordy be” Stammering like a smitten kitten hopped up on catnip. Sum thing hard pulsed beneath me an I shifted…moved to better look him in the eyes an see his smile. Not the most graceful of moves as I wiggled an jostled till me knees held his torso in between them an I sit face to face with him. I let me arms dangle round his neck, hands playing with the short hairs of his scalp while that tingly unreal sensation swept across me entire body.

“I….I yes, but…well not really a but…jus….jus so fast….I…..oh god….” Tears hit me face, rolling down me cheeks in shear joy an wonder….I buried me mouth in his. Pulling me arms an hands till I crushed me very body ‘gainst his…. I had not the strength to think beyond the moment. Had not the ability to reason the speed the sensations swept me down river. A swirling marass of bright clear water that bucked an bounced me the steep gully of love an happiness. These feelings could in no way be damnation …no….lord I liked him…liked the way he held me…kissed me….touched me….moved me.

Our bodies entwined an there wuz no way to get closer…no way except to become one an that, even in me present state, would have to wait till our wedding night. Twuz a night I very much looked forward too….Cassie Marie Darkcrown….the words made me whole being ache with desire. Desire for him. With panic I realized how lil I knew of him….the kiss an magic temporarily broken..

“Tell me more ‘bout yur self….I…I don’t even know when yah were born or where…or parents, do you like kids….cats or dogs….”Me chest rising an falling ‘gainst his in rapid succession. “Lordy I don’t think it’s a good thing to want yah as much as I do now, we mustn’t sin fore our weddin’ night.”

I was lost in the deep dark green pools of his eyes….lost I say.

There Siferus sat, not showing hint of the anger burning inside of him. She'd become quite the tease already. She had resisted the venom pumping through her body better than anyone ever had before. He had one more flaw to play on. Impatience. Siferus picked the girl up off his lap and sat her in the chair she had sat in earlier and playfully pinned her.

I want you so bad right now. Besides, I give my all to my love. Besides, all sins are forgiven. We need only ask God.

His eyes suddenly blazed fire an for the first time I truly knew his strength. A strength of will an mind. A strength of body that let him lift me upwards on off him. Quickly I swept the rippling muscles with a glance noting the large bulge in his pants an turning crimson with embarrassment.

The large chair engulfed me in its cushions his body hovering o’er me, pinning me in place. The perfect gentleman seemed to be making a not so gentlemanly move upon me very dignity. Should I let him? Should I let those lips touch me, feel them an the buzz they gave me body every time they alighted upon me skin? Twuz torment to deny me self the body that hovered jus O’er me…but …oh lord forgive me, that I wanted him so. Me very soul seemed to cry out.

I cried out in pain while his fingers dug into me arms. Yet even the painfully tight grip of his hands on me arms was food for desire. Could I honestly say no” Did I want to? In truth me mind knew the answer an had to do sum thing fore I became one of them two bit whores that paraded ‘bout right here in the dorm. I could not do that….could not, no matter how badly I wanted the man. Sin wuz sin…an no sin could be worth it.

“yes ….oh me lord” I struggled to continue as I saw the triumph upon his face as if I had finally come to me senses. I knew disappointment would quickly follow…”I really think I love you…but…yes, the lord forgives, but to ask one must mean it….would you have me ask an not mean it…would you have me be a sinner a wanton girl that having not the fortitude to wait for her wedding night might not have the strength to wait at other times an end up in bed with other men. Please forgive me if I have gone to far…I’m sorry….It felt sooooo good….I wuz weak…I am weak….but…but I can’t do the …the thing with you. Not that. On our wedding night I…I will do anything yah ask cause as a man of god you will not ask me of me anything that will damn me soul to hell….I ask that now…please do not ask me to damn me self. “

I did not struggle…I did not move until I heaved with sadness that I had been wrong…that I had lead him on. I should not have kissed him like that…should not have gotten in his lap no matter how good it felt. Now….Now even that I yearned for him I could not prove it….for I could not go further an if he be of god an right for me he would not ask me to as well….oh lord…what wuz wrong with me head.? Why did I feel like this? This desire that made me blood run thick on hot as a summer sun on black asphalt.

His breath wuz upon me sweet an soft. “Kiss me….But no more…I cannot give you more…” I could not look inot those haunting eyes. I looked down the body before me. Looked at the muscles standing on edge…the tapered waist…the think scary bulge an for the first time felt a tremor of fear. “Kiss me an tomorrow I want to see yah again…please….”.

Siferus hid his disappointment perfectly, though his eyes lost some luster. That was your first lesson, Cassie. Seducing someone you want. Maybe too good a job. At first, I wanted to teach you, but now I love you. I'll see you tomorrow. Without another word or motion, he turned around and walked toward the door, the sadness showing through perfectly.

Sitting in that chair me mind raced in circles, each revolution adding more torment much as each step of Dr. Darkcrown added to me misery. As the echo of his steps receded in the stair well the anguished moan broke over me lips an me head fell to me hands. Tears welled up an ran upon me cheeks like rivers of anguish.

Should I have done anything different? “Lord, please….please let him come back to me” I cried out into the lifeless room. That in the end I had thought bad things of him an not trusted in his gentlemanly ways made it only worse. He had been strong, far stronger than I. For if he had continued I wuz not sure if I could have said no….an if I had I knew I would not have meant it.

Sullenly I finally got up….me desire for him now even more that he be gone. Gathering up the food an drink I vowed to savor the last of the cookies….a further membrance of him. I could only hope ‘gainst hope that me snubbing of him…me denial of me own wants an desires would not cause him to walk away forever. Even now, in me hearts anguish I desired him. The blood still ran hot…hotter as I walked the short distance to me room an thought on those wondrous lips on mine.

Me hand shook as I swiped the key card an opened the door. Carefully I placed the cookies in a container as if they have a life of their own. Me mind begins to drift. Drift on the man that had held me so close. Been so very kind to me. Had kissed me with the heat of a blacksmiths forge. Fingers trailed down me front as I closed me eyes an felt his hand upon me. Sparks flew, blood pounded, an me belly grew hotter yet. The edge so close I could taste it in me mouth. Not even Hanajii had succeeded in making me feel like this in her absence. Perhaps I had denied me body for too long….far too long.

Fingers, fat feeling an shaky fumbled at the buttons of me blouse. Breathing in I tired to steady them…tried to get the blouse off quickly as button after button stuck an snagged as if to stop me. Finally blouse…then pants…then bara and pantied fell to me feet in spate puddles leaving a trail from bedroom to bath. The cool water hit me skin, but did not lower the heat that coursed through me body.

Gathering up the shower handle I let the spray play across me neck…then downwards just above one roving hand. Cupping me breast I fondled me self, eyes closed, thinkin’ on me love an his firm hands an body beside me. The pressure upon the round orb increased….The hot tip pummeled by cool water…a cooler mouth….the gasp escaping me. He was here…as best as I could make him be here. Touching me, feeling me….water moving lower, legs wider. As I touch me center I slide one leg up to the tubs rim, each knee bent. A throbbing pulse hits me an I close me eyes tighter. His lips…his tongue…oh that it would be like this. The heat builds within….I gasp an moan, echoes calling back to me adding to the depth an fullness of me song. I sing, the throbbing nub sending a richness of pleasure I have no desire to suppress…. as if he plays with it, with me. Moving pelvis an hips I shift him about his moist tongue lapping at me folds…inserting himself in me…penetrating me inner sanctum in a gush of warmth an liquid.

Finally I cry out, me body screaming the long suppressed desire into the night air as me back slides down the far end of the tub. I sink in joy…an aching misery. For it is not really him…but so close…oh lord I want him…rocking….rocking, body spent for now, but still the desire is there as if only one thing can truly excise the need from me soul. I know it, but …but only is it to be in the sanctity of marriage. Me hand finds the ring…a promise contained in it as I turn off the water. For a long time I sit in the tub, naked….only partially satiated….awake….dwelling on what might have been…what might be….

With the soft towel tightly wrapped about me body I tread me way to the computer, anxiously scanning me email to find nothing new. The proxy sex only waking me when I should sleep…the days events heavy on me mind an so I write.

Dear Journal:
May 23, 2009

Today….oh what could have been a horrible punishment had become the first day of me life. I met me soul mate. Me love. The man I want to marry an have his kids…an spend the rest of me life with. An….I think I may have ruined it. I wanted him…he …he being kind an a gentlemen who wanted me had sence to not take what I said no to. But I did not implicitly trust him…I …I think I may have turned him away for he left without a real word of goodbye…without telling me if we would ever see one another again.

That would be a cruel fate. I think I have fallen for him….even more so cause he had the strength to leave me when I might not have been strong enough to say no. That he did shows me that mama was not right in all things ‘bout men. I fear … oh yes I fear that the way me bodiy responds when next to him might be me undoing an send me straight to hell. Yet a big part of me welcomes it. Tonight I…I dreamed of him an did the deed with fingers an water. I screamed in joy….oh how would it feel to have his warm body there instead. I think me lust grows an does not diminish in his absence….perhaps tomorrow I shall see him once more.

I do have the cookies he made me….such a thoughtful an wonderful man. Ma…I wish yah could meet him…I think…know you would approve.
Dear Journal.
May 24, 2009

For breakfast I ate a cookie…an remembered him so vividly that as I lay on me bud me hands roamed once more. What a way to wake up. I can only hope the rest of me life is like that…his hands….his mouth…his body. I used big willy while I thought of him. Somehow I know it will be more fun with him. Still I worry me desire is too intense…to crazy for all that it is. Still no call…still nothing….

I fret…Sunday gone. I should have dwelt more on god an salvation but me mind kept going back to him. Its like me body cannot forget him an every time I have one of his cookies it’s like he is there beside me. Like me body once more members his every touch, every scent…every word. Still though I have not heard from him…I worry…fret…did he get sent away, or is he mad at me…does he even want to see me again. I have put is rign upon me finger, wrapping it with tape so it fits. I wear it proudly…if only he could see me….if only….

Dear journal,
May 25, 2009

Class today. I sat listlessly while I spun the ring ‘bouts me finger. Oh lord, please…please let him still be here…let him still love me! I think I’d even ear this uniform for him if he just called an we could see one another….I think about flashing him…an a thrill runs hot in me veins as wrong as it would be. I should not tease him I vow…but I cannot think of anyway else. I tried to walk like Kendra today. Tried to think ‘bout him an walk like her….jus so he might find me as attractive or sexual as her.

I guess I should be worried. Good girls don’t do things like that. She sways her hips…walks in a manner that oozes an makes me sick….so to speak. AN me…thinking of him did the same…or tired to. I want to impress him. I want him watching me….not looking at her if he had the choice. These are new feelings for me, an I ain’t sure they is good nor if they is bad. I pray…I really do ma. I wish yah were here to talk to, to let me know if I am doing good or bad. Yah did tell me that a women has to do things an be things for her husband an should not be ashamed of it. I jus never really knew what that meant…an not so certain I do know. But I know the two of you love one another an oh how I hope I can have that sort of relationship with Dr. Darkcrown.

Dear Journal.
May 26 2009

Oh how I worry…I think me English teacher knows sum thing is up. I got me homework done just….he looked at me funny an made a comment ‘bout me name change….oh drat that wuz embarrassin’ an all. Why ever did I put Darkcrown on me paper…. Its like a dream. A bad one that is never ending. He did say that yesterdays paper showed more passion in it than any other that I had written…I got it back an gaped. There is no way I wrote that an still I did. I should not have written those things on a public paper…never. Those things should go in you journal….if anywhere. Such Lustful thoughts filled the pages. Thoughts of him, his hands upon me body, holding me…his lips kissing me…his thingy in me….piercing me an making me call out his name in joy.

I cried this afternoon…not a word…I look at his ring…only 2 cookies remain…the ring an them all that remind me of him. If he asked me to bed him I don’t know If I could say no … not like I did. Lord the lust grows in me. I pray each an every night that I might have the strength to last….but…but if he said now of I go would I be able to? I would have to. I would have to say no, an yet I know that the gentlemen he is he would not do that to me. So…so I take a shower an play the water across me sensitive body. A body that seems to grow more sensitive each an every day. Me nipples hurt when even the cotton uniform top slides ‘gainst them. At night I sleep naked tween silk sheets so as to feel him as best I can. Oh lord when will he call….or have I lost me love for certain…..

The day after her last journal entry, after class let out, Siferus in his disguise walked by Cassie's classroom as she was getting ready to leave. His steps were rather heavy as he was going down the hall, caught by Cassie's gaze. His hair was down and he wore a cream colored suit with no tie and his top button undone. His thoughts seemed to be focused on one thing.

Cassie...I miss you. He muttered, not hearing her approach.

Listlessly I made me way from the classroom, Nothing really mattered much any more I reckoned. A whole weekend ….and now half a week of class gone an still he had not said a word…sent a thing….nothing…nada. Friends would have told me life goes on but me friends were gone as well. Home with their parents for the summer while I toiled once more in the funk that wuz yet another lost summer; one that had started on such a high note at its beginning.

I could tread the path from classroom to dorm on auto so to speak. Lost in me own personal world while I wobbled on heals too tall. With the lack of traffic in the halls I did not have to worry ‘bout running into other students a jostling there way to an fro. No, that could wait till fall. Now…now I walked with me head down an me book bag tucked ‘gainst me otherwise exposed chest lost in me own personal thought of loss an angst.

Almost then I ran o’er the man trudging the halls much as I did. Only at the last moment did I move aside. Not enough. Me leg sliding along the expensive silk of his suit pants. Heat flowed along me are skin, arched into me belly on woke me up to a world of possibilities.

The air hung with his scent as we passed, vanilla embellishing the deeply masculine call of his body. Gasping, me mouth suddenly dry an me noise twitching at the familiar an pleasant oder I had to stop an spin. The words reaching me ears….music erupted along me entire body. An unfinished song of longing an desire awoke an coursed through me veins. Heat flared from the tip of me toes to the top of me head.

I could not remember such a striking figure in all me life. Me own uniforms lack of modesty forgotton as me mind once more felt his touch upon it like a gentle breeze. I swore me hair suddenly fluttered round me head an me skirt moved upon me legs. Heaven had answered me prayers….I sucked in a breath, afraid to say a thing…afraid not too….

“Professor Darkcrown….oh lord tis good to see yah”…me voice lower an scratchy to me ears. Dropping me gaze I stared at me feet an fidgeted, shifting weight from one leg to the other wondering if I could get away with the hug I craved…but…but eyes might be watching an I could not get him in trouble now could I?

Siferus felt someone bump into his, barely getting his attention until she spoke. It was her! The one who warmed his heart.

Cassie? Thank God I found you. He said, opening his arms wide, inviting her with his beautiful smile.

His voice reached out an took hold of me, a sound that seemed like butter: smooth an creamy as it caressed me skin. I had not the will nor desire to resist the powerful outstretched hands, the full shoulders nor tapered waist. No, I though as me eyes once more devoured the gentleman of me fevered dreams.

Me bag feel with the thump at me feet, even the pain of the book dropping upon me toes did nothing to change the happiness I felt in me heart. I stepped into the bear of a man, looking him in the eyes with the heals that were part of me uniform. Heals that gave me 5’ 10” another four inches.. Our eyes met, an me heart almost stopped. Deep green devoured me an I melted.

Bodies met, arms round one another as I pulled me self closer….so close….till I knew there wuz only one way we could get closer an a tremor of fear small an ball like rolled about in me warming gut. Oh…would I have the strength to resist him till our wedding night? Should I even think like that an not jus enjoy the time we might have together? Twuz not me nature I reckon, no…I swear I could see the future at times….or perhaps see what I wanted to see an had hope ‘nough that it would happen.

Me lips touched the skin of his neck. Lord how I wanted him. Skin tingled, nipples swelled till they hurt anew as I crushed them ‘gainst his muscular chest. Me belly fluttered an me body felt hot as a pancake griddle at breakfast time.

Me hand moved the back of his head an swept though his hair while me mouth brought a series of small kisses along his neck, my reservations ‘bout being seen an trouble lost in the heat of the moment. Lips met, electricity flowed thick an heavy. What started as a gentle pass of skin grew. Me hand pulled at his head an I pressed inwards in heated passion. Tongues probed an found one another an I swore I would explode there an then.

Fire poured through me veins an me heart beat faster, pounding in me chest like a charging elephant. Sweat broke along me brow an I folded me first one leg then the other about his hips, till He carried me weight a staggering backwards till his back hit the wall. I reckon I took him be surprise, but oh how we seemed to fit together…oh how good he felt tween me thighs.

“You found me….oh lord be praised you found me… “ I whispered in his ear, trying to sooth the angst perhaps we both felt. “Where have yah been….or lord have I missed yah…after all…those awesome cookies are almost gone…. “ the Smile grows as I watch his face, happy as a alley cat in heat, her tomcat next to her.

I've been busy the last few days. Trying to get my job back, making more cookies, planning a wedding... He said between kisses, a bulge slowly rising in his pants. Her legs were wrapped tightly around his waist. God, how he wanted to be naked with her, feeling her body against his own. He was completely in love.

Oh, Cassie...take me to your room, my love. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. He said, his lips dancing along her neckline.

Barely had I stopped talking an he spoke to me, his voice smooth an hot as liquid gold. Enough to melt me completely if not for the words. Me kisses stopped as his ‘gan. I balked…stunned by ihis revelations. I had no desire to be a second fiddle. No….I wanted stage center, up front…me name in lights an top billing….in fact I wanted it all an no understudy cause he would never need such a thing with me around. But all that seemed to abruptly fade….

“How…who, I mean yur getting married jus like that. But….but I thought…well you even say yah love me an that ain’t fair to either of us. An if yur getting yur job back, well that is great an all…an I am happy for yah, but even more so…” Me legs unfastened themselves from round him an I touched the ground. Stepping back I opened the space tween us while me heart threatened to snap in two. I’d never fore been so hurt. Me, taken by a man that professes his love while he marries another in some big church ceremony I reckoned.

“I….I should give yah the ring back, it jus ain’t right an all for her or me.” His brow furrowed, an his gaze grew dumbfounded. So I paused, as much to think jus a lil fore carrying on. I promised as much as it might hurt not to scream at him…not to carry on while me eyes grew heavy with tears. He’d never asked me to marry him…never wanted that of me, all it seemed he wanted was a roll in the hay….an chance to get in me pants like the other girls said all men wanted. Well me room wuz off limits…

“Not me room…never…that would not be right in so many ways….how could you even ask. You is marrying someone an yah want a tryst with me. DO yah really think I’m that kind of girl…someone yah jus have a quick roll with an then yah can enjoy married bliss or did yah think I might be yur mistress or some such. Well it ain’t right and I ain’t that kind of girl an I thought you were different. Thought you were a real gentleman….a man of honor an integrity. But I got yur number as much as it breaks me heart to admit it…TO know I have to walk away an all, but someone had to be strong an yah should be for the lucky lady. Yah should treat her better an not be playing round even If yah figure one last dalliance ain’t a bad thing cause it is… “

People think jus cause I talk funny I don’t have a brain. But the look on his face…the shift of it as I spoke me mind… the curl of his lips, the gathering smile, the mirth…oh lord…oh lord. Had I jus missed the boat an jumped to conclusions based on some sort of faulty assumptions. I know I ain’t supposed to ever say them words…but…but I might have made an ass out of me self….

“Uhh….like….like, no? tipping me head an looking askance at him, ‘fraid to meet his gaze head on casue I jus wanted to curl up an turn invisible or sum such thing. A wuz a mess of emotion….a real mess of sorts an maybe I should have used me noggin a bit sooner instead of jus jumping to conclusions an all. Trust..communication….I might have jus done me self in…

Are you quite finished now? Siferus said, his voice calm, yet sharp enough to cut to the bone. Now, allow me to explain. The wedding I'm planning is the ceremony...with you. I wanted it to be a surprise, but you obviously don't trust me. Why don't you trust me? Do I look like the type of man you accuse me of being?! He turned and began to leave, never turning around, but Cassie could hear how bad her tyraid had hurt him.

Oh lord no….I’d done it now. The hurt clearly shown in his eyes, the slump of his shoulders as he turned to walk away. Wuz there a way to repair the damage I had wrought? It felt as though a piece of me wuz missing….had been cut from me with a dull blade an left me bleeding there in the hall. Did not all me upbringin’ say to trust yur fellow man. Wuz this gods punishment for not believin’ sum thing good could happen to me.

I tottered on me heals after him, the click of um echoing off the long halls walls. I tired to run…to catch up to the one really good thing that had happened to me this summer. Hard an fast had I fallen in love. The things he made me body feel, the aura of him called to me even as he walked away. Does it not say that all good things come from hard work an don’t come easy. Maybe…I reckoned I had to work a lil harder.

“please Dr. Darkcrown, I wuz wrong. I wuz sooo wrong an I….I am willing to make it up to yah in any way. To….to….” the thought hit like one of them bright light bulbs in them comic strips. “Come see me room….you’ve been a gentleman an I can think of no other lil ole rule of mine that might be wrong when it comes to you, it’s the only way I can think of to make amends, to show you I can trust you now. But…but I will do more if you would have it that way.”

Almost I fell. It wuz too much, I kicked off the heals rules be damned having decided to break me own long standing one an ran barefoot after him….Following the scent of vanilla that made me heart beat faster.